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Wording And Tell Me I’m Making The Right Choice

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  • Wording And Tell Me I’m Making The Right Choice

    I put a star on the calendar and nothing has changed. I’ve hit my limit. I can’t afford the financial hit, but at this point I’ll take out a loan if I have to because I’m done.

    The problem? I feel guilty. I have done everything I can, I’m at a loss of what else I can do. It’s hours of screaming when dcg 1 doesn’t get her way. Intense screaming/crying to the point no one else naps or can do anything. It’s a few ‘okay’ days, maybe 1 good day, then days so horrible that I can’t even find the words to describe them.
    i talk to dcm and insists it’s not like that at home…. Well they get maybe 1 hour of awake time with dcg daily so I’m sure she’s totally fine since by then she is exhausted from screaming all day. Dcd says things are just as bad at home to which dcm tries to say dcd was joking. They never keep dcg home and grandparents refuse to watch her…. So I’m guessing this isn’t isolated daycare behavior like they’re trying to make me believe.
    the other kicker? This started 2 1/2-3 months ago and has gotten progressively worse.

    I really wanted this to work too. So now - do I set up an action plan where after 60 minutes of nonstop crying they must pick up or just sat sorry here’s my notice and peace?

  • #2
    Personally, I would call the parent in, say heres the action plan and if you cant pick up atfter 60 mins, that will be the day I term your child. We will try the action plan for X days and if it dont work were not a good fit


    • #3
      Oh my! Been there; done that. I’d personally just call it.

      Asking for pick up IF she cries etc etc is like constantly poking a wound and wondering why it won’t heal.

      Its not getting better.
      Parents know but show they don’t care. (your watch/your problem)
      An all day crier is like a slow boil frog… you don’t actually know how bad it is til it’s gone.
      If you’re stressed now, I’d be willing to bet it’s actually 10X worse than you’re thinking it is.

      Give notice.
      I 100% understand needing the income but you need your sanity more.


      • #4
        I agree with BC. You’ve communicated with the parents—they will not be caught off-guard. In fact, they’re likely expecting it. They know she’s like this, and the fact that her grandparents won’t watch her speaks volumes.

        I recently went through a similar situation, and do not regret terming AT ALL. It’s so peaceful here now. I did feel a little guilty, but bottom line, I make my decisions for the good of the group. It didn’t benefit the group to listen to screaming all day.


        • #5
          I just went through something similar. I dreaded the boy coming every single day but after repeatedly telling parents for months things he was doing here she was always so sorry for her son but no one else and with an attitude like hers I knew it wouldn't change so I terminated and I debated for months. After I did oh my It was the best decision for me and my group. Sad thing is not one child asked where he was.


          • Alwaysgreener
            Alwaysgreener commented
            Editing a comment
            I know it is funny when a child leaves and no one asks about them, especially my own child/ren. My current crew seems to ask about each other when one misses a day.

        • #6
          I knew it was time to call it when a 3-year-old, whose mom was pregnant, said, “When my baby sister gets here, she will be screaming and screaming and SCREAMING!” Poor child thought that was the norm.


          • #7
            I kept an aggressive kid much too long, and here's how I think of it now: all these families are entrusting their kids to me in the faith that I will do my best by them. When I keep an aggressive kid or a constant crier in the space with their children, I'm not trying to do my best by their children. I know that their children are suffering, and I'm the one in control of the situation, and I'm not taking action.