Here We Go Again

[TwinMama]

Here we go again. One of my Mom's just called me to see what my thoughts were on letting dcg come here in underwear tomorrow. I said no. She thinks that her not going anywhere during one weekend and setting a potty timer automatically will potty train her 2 year old. That I'm now deterring her progress because I won't let her wear underwear and pee on my floor too.

I've got 5 bucks that says she brings her in underwear tomorrow and she tries to convince me that what she read on the internet is correct.

Then she told me that dcg sat at their dinner table and peed a river not realizing what she was doing.

She's almost ready, but not quite. She just recently started pooping on the potty. I hate having this battle with Moms. It's the same thing every time.

[Springvalley]

We tell our parents that once they start potty training their kids at we will help them at daycare & we always, always tell parents to please bring a change of clothes for their kids and extra underwear. Now if they have an accident then we change them no big deal however if they do it on purpose then in timeout they go. We always make them clean up their messes and clean their theirselves including changing their clothes.

[PB&J]

We need two weeks accident free first. No bodily fluids to discover in community areas.
But even after that accidents may happen, so we do something close to this, but have to be careful. We aren’t allowed to let kids handle bodily fluids, even their own, or allowed to present potty consequences in a shame-inducing or punitive way. So WE clean the fluids first, then have them clean up after in a very light, matter of fact “oh you didn’t make it! Let’s clean up now, and next time will be better.” way. Mainly just to make sure they don’t just get to go back to playing, and have some “skin in the game”. Enough time cleaning up and it’s not so convenient for them to forget to use the bathroom.
But, they are older than young twos and have shown that they’re ready for potty training.

Just point to your handbook and say “No exceptions. I’ve been doing this a long time, and this is what works here. It’s in my handbook so all parents know BEFORE they even sign up. Do you need another copy of what you signed?”

[TwinMama]

We tell our parents that once they start potty training their kids at we will help them at daycare & we always, always tell parents to please bring a change of clothes for their kids and extra underwear. Now if they have an accident then we change them no big deal however if they do it on purpose then in timeout they go. We always make them clean up their messes and clean their theirselves including changing their clothes.

This little girl isn't capable of doing any of that yet. She wouldn't even comprehend what I was telling her to do. She's not ready. Mom just really wants her out of diapers because she has another one on the way. I don't mind working with Mom and Dad, but they only work on her training when it's convenient for them and works in to their schedule.

[Springvalley]

This little girl isn't capable of doing any of that yet. She wouldn't even comprehend what I was telling her to do. She's not ready. Mom just really wants her out of diapers because she has another one on the way. I don't mind working with Mom and Dad, but they only work on her training when it's convenient for them and works in to their schedule.

Then back in pullups she would go, They've got to start working with her or they need to go somewhere else. I would NOT fight with someone over something that silly

[GirlMomma]

Personally… We’ve been potty training DD2.5 for the last three weeks. DD is in Pull-ups because of the DCK. We are working on leaving the house in underwear for short, quick trips to the store and back. It only took our oldest DD two weeks. Every kid is different.

My new DC rule is this: DCP must introduce and begin PT at home. Once the child is successful at home, I will introduce the child to the DC bathroom and assist where needed. The child must be in Pull-up and accident free for two weeks. Underwear is not permitted before the two week mark is up. If there is an accident during that two week time span, the time restarts.

I’ve had three kids PT in my daycare in two years and here is why I have the rule:

The the first DCK3 left Friday in diapers and came back Monday in underwear. A year later, DCK4 still doesn’t grasp it. He’ll hold it all day and won’t tell you he has to go unless you take him.

My second potty trained DCK2.9 was fully potty trained at home for several weeks before coming to DC in underwear OR Pull-ups. He was in diapers here the whole time he was training at home. Once he got it at home, they told me they wanted to try here, he had just turned 3YO. He’s had less than 4 accidents here in 9 months since then. He’s my most successful potty trainer. He doesn’t need help, communicates when he has to go, no accidents at nap time, etc.

My third potty trained DCK was trained way too early (at 2 years and 5 months) because the parents thought that since their first kid picked it up at that age, their second child could do the same. He has struggled majorly. It was a whole thread a few weeks ago.

[Alwaysgreener]

TwinMama do you use the potty training checklist?

Toilet (Potty) Training Checklist
Is your child ready to be Potty Trained? Check those that apply to your child.

_____ Follows simple directions.

_____ Remains dry for at least 2 hours at a time during the day.

_____ Dry after nap time.

_____ Regular and predictable bowel movements.(some may have bowel movements every day and some may have them less frequently)

_____ Walks to and from the bathroom, pulls down own pants and pulls them up again

_____ Seems uncomfortable with soiled or wet diapers

_____ Seems interested in the toilet.

_____ Has asked to wear grown-up underwear.


If the child has most of the skills marked, you can assume the child is ready to start potty training. Potty training may best be accomplished by starting at home first and then at child care.

If the child does not have most of the skills marked then wait a few weeks or months and refer to the checklist again.

Toilet training is much easier if the child is truly ready to master this skill;

To try to be consistent in the Potty training process, please share with us some information about your child’s and family’s preferences in this process:


1. What words or gestures does your family use for:

Body parts? __________________________ Urine? ___________ Bowel movements? ______________________

2. What strategies have been tried at home? (Example: reading books, aiming at Cheerios, trying on big kid underwear, sitting on potty, etc.)

__________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ ____________________

__________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ ____________________

__________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ ____________________

3. Does you child have a special need or circumstance that needs to be taken into consideration?

__________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ ____________________

__________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ ____________________

__________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ ____________________


The following are some helpful hints in Potty training your child.


• A calm easygoing approach works best.

• Toilet training involves many steps (discussing, undressing, going, wiping, dressing, flushing, hand washing) reinforce the child’s success at each step.

• Help children recognize when they are urinating or have a bowel movement. They must be aware of what they are doing before they can do anything about it.

• Children should be shown how to use the toilet by watching other children who are trained or discussing each step and practicing each step with out actually using the toilet. (Example: have child sit on toilet dressed, flushing toilet).

• Included toilet training into the daily routine such as reading books, songs and games that reinforce the skills needed to toilet train.

• Dress children in easy to remove clothing to help children be successful in undressing and dressing.

• When a child is giving the signs of having to use the toilet or tells you they have to use the toilet, take the child in and help undress them and on to the toilet. Sit by the child for a few minutes. Try not to push for immediate results. After a few minutes, help the child with the rest of the routine and give praise for the effort or any successes they had.

• Try to encourage going to the potty after meals or snacks. This is time they may actually need to go.

• Never force a child to sit on the toilet against their will or for long periods of time if they do not want to. This could set up a power struggle and negative feeling toward the toilet training.

• Never punish for accidents. Occasional accidents are normal. Clean and change the child immediately. Be positive and reassuring that they will be successful. Punishment does not make the process go faster and may delay it.


Potty Training is a big skill to learn. Be patient. Let the child decide when he/she is ready. If you do, the child will most likely be trained in a very short period of time. However, nighttime dryness may take an additional six months to a year. Set backs are common and should be expected. This does not necessarily mean failure. The child may be taking a temporary step back to a more comfortable place, which helps support later progress.

[Cat Herder]

I love you so much right now. I updated (against my will) my documents program and lost this one. I needed it Friday of last week and had to spend my entire nap period typing up something similar, from my poor memory. I forgot I posted it. You have made my day. Thank you.

[Alwaysgreener]

Your welcome. Did you know you can goggle it too, when I can't find my copy I used to Google it and find a PDF copy online.

I also created it as a Jot form and attached it to my website, along with most of my documents, which is a good thing because I lost a huge file last month and although I am working on recovering it not everything has survived.

[Blackcat31]

One of my Mom's just called me to see what my thoughts were on letting dcg come here in underwear tomorrow.

My reply would have been: "Sure! As long as she has a Pull Up over her underwear. If she tells me she needs to use the bathroom, I will support and assist her. If she has an accident, she will need to go back to Pull Ups ONLY for 2 weeks before wearing underwear again."

I won't discuss it further other than to explain the Pull Up is for sanitary reasons.

A truly potty trained child will not soil or wet themselves if they have access to the bathroom. I rarely explain that to parents though because most don't understand and/or most feel their child is "unique" or "different". Either way, my rule is accident free for a full two weeks before wearing underwear with no protective cover. Parents can either follow my rule or find alternate childcare.

Toilet training is a parental responsibility. Supporting and assisting is my responsibility but I won't do those things until a child meets certain developmental milestones (CH has most of them listed in her policy that Alwaysgreener posted above).

I avoid in-depth conversations about toilet training with parents at all costs. Other than reiterating my policy. Like any other policy, it's not up for negotiation so parents either follow it or find other care. Its that simple.

I've probably potty trained a kid or two over my 30 yrs in the business but it was more than likely I first opened and way back when I was a doormat and thought everything was my job. Ever since I saw the light, I don't potty train anyone.

[Cat Herder]

I send that one home automatically at 15 months to preempt the conversation.

[Cat Herder]

I started providing diapers a couple of years ago and not one parent has asked about wearing cloth here, since.

They seem shocked when I tell them it is time to start at home or send them home in cloth with a Congrats!! certificate.

Talk about role reversal.

[Snowmom]

This little girl isn't capable of doing any of that yet. She wouldn't even comprehend what I was telling her to do. She's not ready. Mom just really wants her out of diapers because she has another one on the way. I don't mind working with Mom and Dad, but they only work on her training when it's convenient for them and works in to their schedule.

And THERE is the money.

I wouldn't even entertain it honestly. We know when a child is ready at daycare. I'd say: "I'm glad you're working on it at home but until she shows all the signs of readiness at daycare, she will be required to wear diapers."