It's 3AM and I'll be Up ALL Night: Terming family with limited notice

[fivestarday]

Well, for the second night in a row I am up every one or two hours taking care of my DD10months who normally sleeps through the night. Why? BECAUSE SHE IS SICK AGAIN. Sorry, I shouldn't internet shout, but I'm angry.

I have one family that chooses not to follow my illness policy. Repeatedly, DCM smiles in my face and drops her child off sick. Yesterday, this child cried the entire time she was here. I agreed to watch this child through the end of next month. But I am terming them after this week. They can spend their weekend interviewing new care providers. I don't care. DCM obviously does not respect what I do or my family's well being, even though she may say differently over and over. Why should I hold their needs above my own? I refuse. I did not spring a new illness policy on them. They signed it when they signed up to begin care. They can apologize all they want, but I don't want anything to do with people who disrespect me over and over and pretend not to notice how rude they are being. Every other family follows the policy, except this one.

My only regret is not giving them two weeks' notice the first time they broke my illness policy.

I think I will say tomorrow, "Unfortunately, I am closed today because I was up every hour last night taking care of a feverish, miserable infant who would not be sick if you chose to follow the illness policy you signed at the start of this business relationship. Yes, I am blaming you. Consistently, you have chosen to ignore my illness policy unless directly told "Your child is sick. She needs to stay home." Because of this consistent disregard for the well being of my family, I will no longer be commited to providing care for your child for the month of May. "

Mic drop. My husband will say "It's a small town. Just be patient. It's only a few weeks. Don't burn your bridges." But he is asleep right now.

[Annalee]

I think we all get hit with a secret ibuprofin-morning-kid at times; however, I have two sons and when they were small, my oldest NEVER caught anything but my youngest would catch a 'sick bug' if it was in CHINA. Some kids just catch everything. I am sorry this is happening to you but wanted to share per my experience. Hope your child feels better soon!

[Alwaysgreener]

I agree with Annalee, I opened my daycare when my daughter was turning three and she never got sick but when she started going to school she got sick, she even got covid at least twice this last year. My son was born after I opened and he after his first year caught everybody's illness. But even though he was around kids with covid including his sister he never got it. It's all hit and miss.

[fivestarday]

Thank you both for the kind words. I have had two cups of coffee and my baby was smiling this morning. She is still sick, but it makes all the difference to see her smile. I also told the DCM I was closed this morning to take care of my baby. DCM did not protest.

I have thought more and more about it, and even though I am still angry, I am going to do what I said I would do. I am going to be dependable for this family until I close. If I ever open a daycare again, which I probably won't, it will be when my children are all older. I think what makes me so angry is knowing how hard each of us who choose this business work, and we are not rewarded financially. The least we can be rewarded with is respect and the dignity of honesty from parents.

[GirlMomma]

I’m sorry to hear your DD is sick! ❤️

The truth is, you’re going to have some parents that follow your illness policy and other parents that will push it.

It’s your responsibility as a provider/business owner to enforce your illness policy.

Awhile back, I had a parent drop off a child who was coughing and overall lethargic. After 20 minutes, I made the decision to send the child home. DCM was back home BF her infant. She had 60 minutes to finish feeding the newborn, load the infant into the car and make the 20 minute drive back here before she received late pick-up charges.

I have been known to turn parents away at the door.

If you don’t enforce your policy, they’re not going to follow it. Just like I’m going to go 5 MPH over the speed limit if the cop isn’t sitting there. 🤷🏻♀️

[fivestarday]

All very true! I should have from the start, the first time this happened, called mom and made her pick up her child. But I let it go and let it go. It's the #1 reason why I am closing. DCM is very charming and that usually distracts me from how I actually feel. You're right. It is my responsiblity and I am certainly paying the price. *sigh* haha Only four more weeks left.

[Blackcat31]

People will treat you how you allow them to.

I am not saying this is your fault but you can't blame the parent for continuing to disregard your illness policy if they have done it more than once.
If they did it once, that's on them. Doing it more than once and still being allowed to stay is on you.

I don't mean to sound harsh but it's the truth and it's a hard truth most providers come to realize in their career.
Also you don't have to give two weeks notice if they break your contract. Two weeks notice is usually a courtesy not a requirement.

As for your DH's comments about it being a small town and burning bridges.... turn it around and make it something positive.....it might be a small town but I'd welcome the "gossip" if the talk was about how Miss Fivestarday operates with the intention of doing what's best for the children in her care and takes her illness policy serious enough that she has actually terminated families that don't follow it. She cares so much about the health and well being of not only her own family but of those in her program that she is willing to terminate a family that doesn't have the same respect in return.

As for burning bridges....what bridge is there to burn? Unless you plan to re-enroll them at some point.

Also, it's so common for kids your DD's age to be sick when their parent does childcare. She's building her immune system and it will benefit her immensely in the future. Some kids tend to be sick more often than others when under 2 but it will pass and as I said, it will benefit her later in her early school years.

I do hope she feels better soon and I'm sorry you have had to be up on/off all night.
Having a little one and running an in-home business is hard.

[fivestarday]

I know what you mean about allowing people to treat me in a way that is less than I want. I wonder if I will reopen again in the future. If I do, I wonder if I will finally, after three times, have the guts to be say No. This business has taught me some serious lessons about who I am and who I want to be.

My favorite thing about DD is that, even when she is sick, she still has her sense of humor. She still reaches up and snatches my glasses from my face and laughs. Then she coughs and cries. But for a moment, I know she'll be OK soon enough.

[Valerie928]

I'm sorry your baby is sick! I know how difficult this can be.
My kiddos have been through the journey of daycare illnesses as this has been my career. They picked up a lot of bugs. However, by the time they were 3-4, they became tough little ones. Hardly ever sick.
It builds up their immune systems.

[fivestarday]

Yes it does build their immune systems. When DS4 gets sick, he has a basic runny nose and that's it. He was never sick when he was a baby, because I kept him all to myself and did not run a daycare at the time. However, he did have issues with his ears. So he was miserable in his own special way. haha