The Venting Thread

[e.j.]

So today I had an inspection.[LIST=1]
This is three years in a row that he has cited me for things that the previous inspector did not find anything wrong with and there is no way to predict what he will cite next.

For the most part, I've been very lucky to have reasonable, friendly licensors but this is one of my biggest gripes with licensing in general. I don't think it's fair to write up a provider for something that's been ok'd by another licensor. It's fine to let us know it's not ok any more but why not give the provider a chance to change it rather than write her up for it on the spot?

When we first moved in to our current home, we had our kitchen completely remodeled. We didn't want to start drilling holes in our brand new cabinets so I was careful to store things in the drawers and cabinets that were child safe - kitchen towels, plastic plates and sippy cups, etc. For the most part, anything hazardous was stored in cabinets above the microwave and refrigerator where the kids couldn't reach. I was told by my licensor at the time that rather than putting in safety locks on a set of 3 drawers, I could just place a yard stick down through each drawer pull so that the kids couldn't access the top drawer, which we used for stationery items like paper clips, erasers. etc. (The 2 lower drawers were used for pots and pans. Putting the yard stick through the pulls off all 3 drawers made it impossible for the kids to open the top drawer since they would have to open all 3 drawers at the same time and it was too heavy for them to do that.) All other licensors had no issue with that solution until one came in to inspect years later. When questioned about it, I nicely explained the set up and that it had been suggested by a past licensor and ok'd by the others since. She didn't like it, apparently, and in trying to prove to me that it was a danger to the kids, just about ripped the front of the drawers off trying to pull the drawers open. She finally did manage to get them open (a child wouldn't have had the kind of strength it took for her to do so) and proceeded to take everything out of my junk drawer and dump it all over my kitchen counter. She wrote me up saying the drawer needed a safety lock on it.

If she had just said she felt the other licensor's suggestion didn't work for her and asked me to move the contents before the start of day care the next day, I wouldn't necessarily have liked it but would have made the change as requested. Instead, I was written up and then had to deal with the mess on my counter while trying to supervise the kids. I was pissed! I've had a couple of other instances where something was ok with once licensor and not with another. I get one licensor may be in the wrong or that they may disagree on how a reg is supposed to be interpreted but it's frustrating when we're stuck in the middle, thinking we're doing the right thing, only to be written up. It didn't bother me as much in the past when the results of our visits weren't on public display for all to see but now that anyone can pull up that information to see, it irks me when it happens. Anyway...all that just to say I'm sorry that happened to you and I understand how upsetting it is to be cited for something you were told was ok to do.

[Alwaysgreener]

Your inspector must be related to my inspector. I use a dowel instead of a yardstick and he told me I couldn't, he insisted that a child would be able to pull them all open. Mind you at the time I also had my kitchen gated off so the kids couldn't be in the kitchen unless I was.
I also had you move my daughter's hair ties down a drawer because they were a choking hazard. I still use a dowel, I just had to put a lid on the top drawer so even if they put open they can't get to anything.
Funny thing is if the drawers are open they automatically reach to the eye level stuff and not the stuff in the top drawer.

[Springvalley]

Department of human resources has all of the deficiency forms and evaluation forms on their website for the public to see. DHR had even one daycares information to include their evaluation form, deficiency form plus everything that was submitted to them to correct the deficiency displayed for public information. Immunization record that belonged to a child, pictures of a playground etc. I was appalled when I saw it because I felt like that was an invasion of not only the parents privacy but the daycares as well.

[Annalee]

This thing called 'nap' just doesn't work like it used to! That has to be a reflection of the times changing......not sure if the problem is co-sleeping at home; the child's inability to self-regulate and wind-down, possible meds I don't know about; etc.

[e.j.]

I think in addition to the reasons you mentioned, parent's not keeping them to a regular nap schedule at home is part of the issue. The parents I have here often mention how busy they are on the weekends and that the kids didn't have the chance to nap at all. For some of the kids, it means they fall asleep as soon as their head hits the pillow. For other kids, it means they won't nap at all because they're so used to not taking one at home. Makes it tough because those kids tend to be more wired and cranky from lack of sleep. Trying to keep them quiet enough so the sleeping kids can stay asleep makes it stressful for me.

[Annalee]

Yes, EJ! I've had non-sleepers through the years but it hasn't been a problems as they generally laid still or looked at books, etc....but this crew is constantly making noise of some sort or kicking any thing their feet will reach.....yes they have consequences when doing this but you can't TEACH empathy or any other feeling....it's a cold-stone-faced-non-caring group....does that come from screen time? Not sure about that but anyone else seeing this???

[Sparkles]

No call, no shows. Just why?

A simple text letting me know a dck won't be here takes 5 seconds.

[Michael]

I would let your clients know that if they are going be a no-show it is expected that they notify you via text.

[Springvalley]

Our Monday consisted of an employee calling out and contacting the administrator at 3am because their kid was sick, dcg3 talking back and having attitude and all of the kids being wild because its the day after halloween

[Alwaysgreener]

Message dcm that I need more formula for tomorrow. She messaged back asking if they I can just use the store brand that I am required to offer via FP.

Sorry dcm but one I don't keep random formula on hand just incase you opt to use it and two I am not going to go to the store tonight in hopes that they have any in stock. Three I have family time scheduled for tonight not shopping and finally to assume that I have it in my budget to just go get supplies because you don't want to is wrong.

The store is 24 hours but I am still not going!!

[Alwaysgreener]

I forgot to message back, I am not sure how I would have said it but I never got a chance to message back.

Ugh, due to the fact that you declined my formula on our contract, I have no reason keep any formula on hand as it does expire.

Unfortunately, we went through this tub faster than I expected since she returned to care. So I will need formula at drop off today.


Ugh, what am I go going to do if they want to change the food program contract and agree to my formula? I despise having to buy formula. I never bought any for my kids and most of my dick have been breastfed babies.

[PB&J]

Just point out to her that in this rare case when you were unable to give more advance notice, she is welcome to send enough in a Tupperware to feed baby until she can provide some from the store. She may be thinking that SHE doesn’t want to run to the store at the last minute either. Then make sure she has plenty of notice next time….and make sure she knows if she changes to the fp, you provide “xx” brand only. If she is particular, she may turn it down again.

[Alwaysgreener]

Last night I schedule day text to be sent out at 6 this morning. Pretty much said what I posted above, due to you declining my formula...

DCm arrived without formula and said that she didn't see the text until she arrived at 7:30.

She said she would go home and get it but she brought me an open container.

She said it's her home stash and she made a couple bottles out of it.

So we're right she didn't want to go to the store.

I'm not bringing up me supplying formula, really cuz I don't want to but if she does I will agree to it as long as I have notice, not we don't want to go to the store so how about you use yours.

I hope my text make them think I can't just request formula.

[Sparkles]

My MIL must not think I have a real job. Every time family is in town, she thinks it's okay to stop by whenever.

She just messaged me about what time tomorrow afternoon would be good for them to stop by.

Ummm...there is no good time. I'm working.

The worst part is when she has stopped by in the past, the kids lose their minds (like they always do when someone comes in) and then she makes comments about how chaotic it is

[PB&J]

Ahhhhhhh in laws. Twenty bucks says she comes at that time specifically to rile the kids up and be able to comment on it. I’m jaded due to in law history. Hopefully she is just too excited to see you to wait!

[GirlMomma]

We have the same in-laws. It’s obnoxious!

[Springvalley]

We hired a new employee at our center about 3 weeks ago and they were in their two week training period and everything was going well. About 1 week into their training things got weird, soon to be teacher said they swapped jobs because of drama in the workplace, The day they said they didn't have a vehicle they literally walked to the fast food place got their food and came back. They completed all of their paperwork except their background check, medical etc. We found out also during that week that they had a criminal record. The owners found out and let the employee go. Fast forward to today, co worker gets text stating that they had contacted the owner via text and claimed that the administrator was abusing the kids, and how dare they allow that to happen and that the whole town is going to find out about it and they hoped they got reported etc basically a bunch of crap so we contacted dhr and they told us to keep the doors locked because we don't know what they will do.

[Momboss]

I dont understand this at all. The minute DCB arrives at my daycare, he poops. Whether he is dropped off at 7, 7:15, 7:40, or 8… a minute after he arrives he poops. It is the most aweful smelling poop in the world. Why does he have to poop HERE. How does this never happen at home lol. How does this happen every time! Lol

[GirlMomma]

I have two boys that, like clockwork, poop during nap time. One smells HORRID!

[Springvalley]

Have you ever had a parent with a loud vehicle loud enough that it wakes all of the kids up during nap? Everyday parent pulls in no matter what time and leaves their vehicle running! It's so loud its insane and disrespectful

[livinglife]

BCB is turning four in a few months and he refuses to use the toilet.

Honestly, I'm just over it. Diaper changing is never going to be the high light of childcare but it's just disgusting at this point. It completely reeks when he poops and then the entire daycare space reeks in turn (and I'm talkin' with his diaper on, before I even change him so you can imagine when I do change him) and with him being at an age where he's capable of using the toilet and choosing not to, it's frustrating.

I wouldn't mind so much if it were a case of him trying but having accidents here and there but neither are the case. He shows no inclination whatsoever (not even having a soiled pull-up bothers him).

When we first started, he was attempting but then it quickly waned. On top of that, his parent isn't putting in the work and bonus: bringing in those non-velcro-side-tab pull-ups. I take him to the potty when he's here but it's not translating into him asking to go. So when he goes on the potty, it's just happenstance, not purpose.

DCB takes the path of least resistance towards a lot of things, usually things that involve him doing things for himself. So, he definitely needs to be pushed. I feel like if he had more push from the home front, in a firm manner, he would progress in this area. I think right now, he knows that he doesn't have to try because the majority of the adults in his life are just going to change him.

[PB&J]

Basically we define potty trained as when the child is in charge of his own potty needs, and is dry/unsoiled during all awake hours for two weeks straight. (we give leeway for nap time accidents, but they wear a pull-up for nap only if needed). This means that staff provides very very minimal help for reminders, dressing, wiping, etc. The old forum has tons of threads on how different providers define potty trained, and what works for them.

[PB&J]

You mentioned a higher fee: Our fee categories place non-potty trained kids at a higher rate.

[livinglife]

I really like that. I'll also check out the old forum. Thank you so much for your advice!

[Momboss]

Pretty irritated today because a parent who brought their child in with a cold on Monday (confirmed not covid) has now gotten me sick. When i get a cold its bad. Irritating knowing that i wouldnt be sick if this child stayed home until they were better. I know its part of the job, but im irritated

[Blackcat31]

Bleh...all my kiddos are sniffling and coughing. I hate this time of the year....
I find that I clench my teeth when I wipe noses so by the end of the day I have a tension headache and a sore jaw and neck
I don't mind winter at all but the change over from one season to the next is always "icky".

[Annalee]

Excedrin Tension with a starbucks coffee release that tension....LOL Three big sips and you're good

[Blackcat31]

Annalee Sounds like the perfect remedy!!

[Annalee]

BC, and if that don't work, have your husband (off day is today) to bring you a caramel iced coffee from Mcdonads.... just sent the text cause I need it bad...LOLOLOLOLOL

[Cat Herder]

Three on bottles, only one can hold their own.

Five in diapers plus one needs naptime pull-up.

Five on table food. Two on mesh feeders. The oldest refuses to eat anything at all (thanks grandma).

Four on daily meds. Three with daily topicals. Two with daily baths/soaks.

Then there is laundry, dishes, garbage, floors, paperwork, parent communication, planning, training, part-time job, couple time with DH, keeping up with adult kids and my ridiculously needy dogs.

I am tired.

I know I feel better when I do the treadmill an hour a day, but....ugh..... I don't even want to have to chew this sandwich right now. Liquid diet is looking pretty good, y'all.

[e.j.]

In all seriousness.....how do you do it??! I have 6 kids total. Two of the kids are older (4 and almost 5). They're both very independent and great kids but also VERY high energy.

Another one is 3, has developmental delays and is currently potty training. He's ok with peeing on the potty except that he's been taught to stand up so if I'm not right there with him, he fire-hoses my walls, floor and toilet. He still poops in his pants without saying anything. I only know he's pooped when I notice he's walking like a cowboy who just got off his horse after a 20 mile ride. He does wear a pull-up because after he peed all over my lap one day and pooped in his pants on another day, I insisted on it. He gets special services at a local school so I have to feed him earlier than the other kids, change him into his underwear before he's picked up and then back into pull-ups when he returns to me which is no big deal - just time consuming while I'm trying to watch the others and try to get craft activities done with them.

I have another who is 2. She's still in diapers, naps ok but not well and can be very jealous when she has to share me with the other kids.

I have 2 others who are 17mo and 9mo. The 17mo may be on the autism spectrum or he's learning certain behaviors from his big brother; I can't tell which! He's my sour patch kid. He can be super sweet one minute and really sour the next. He's very prone to meltdowns and fights me any time I have to change his diapers - to the point where I've had bruises running up and down my arms from him kicking me. The 9mo old is wonderful but, like any baby, needs a lot of one-to-one/hands-on care. He'll hold a bottle here and there but not consistently so I have to plan my day around his feeding schedule. All that to say....I'm physically exhausted and mentally drained by the end of each day but wouldn't trade places with you for a million bucks! I know you're an amazing provider just from reading your posts but in reading what you just shared, I seriously don't know how you do it!

[GirlMomma]

e.j. Holy moly! You have A LOT on your plate! I personally would term the kicker bruising me and leave the 3YO in pull-ups. I would no longer accept any child under 12 months, it’s A LOT of work.

I would try to stick with a specific age group so they play well together and can learn at a similar pace.

[e.j.]

My group keeps me running for sure but I don't have to deal with daily meds, topicals, baths, dogs or a part-time job and I only work M-Th and have Fridays off. Reading Cat Herder's post seriously made me appreciate my own work load.

I'm pretty sure my kicker will calm down during diaper changes once he gets a little older. He's not malicious; just really doesn't like having his diaper changed and fights with everything he has in him to keep it from happening. I usually don't take more than 1 child under the age of 2 but I had agreed to enroll my dcg right around the time my other day care moms told me they were pregnant. I guess I didn't think it through and didn't want to lose any of them - the parents are all such great clients - so I decided to just bite the bullet and get through it. I love all of them and can't imagine not having them here with me. It should get easier as they get older and then I'll have a great group of preschoolers who have grown up together. It feels like it's going to take forever right now but I've been doing this long enough to know that they'll be walking and playing together before long. I just have to survive the next 6 months to a year so I can enjoy it when it happens! lol

[Sparkles]

On the days I have kids either absent or gone early, I always have the one kid here who is either usually picked up early but is late, or whose parent isn't working.

Today, it's the kid whose mom isn't working.

As I always say, it never fails.