The Venting Thread

[fivestarday]

I don't make much money at all running my daycare. I could charge more. But I choose not to. Not making much money makes me feel better about being extremely picky about the kids I choose to watch. I am extremely picky so I can have an ideal quality of life. Every day is spent with my children without much challenge. The house stays clean and my mind stays at peace. I have the time and energy to be a good mom and pursue other interests. When I opened my daycare a couple of years ago, I closed it within 6 months because I had the "service" mentality with the parents. I got ran over and taken advantage of regularly. This time around, that never happens.

One example of my pickiness: I'm going to let a toddler go this week simply because I already have two other babies to care for. He is a part-timer, but it is still stressful when he is here. The other babies nap exceptionally well at the same time every day like clockwork. And when these two naps occur, I take the 2s and 3s outside for fun. Or I get to do things for myself like...use the bathroom, or have some lunch! This toddler also has a habit of yelling as loud as he can whenever he is happy. I'm glad this kid is happy, but I do not want a headache every day. He also gets very loud when he is displeased. I know he can't help it. But even with the part-time status, it is not worth the money.

BTW, update, the dcm who pulled her kid on the first the day payment was due after telling me she would be by with payment sent me 3 or 4 messages telling me when she would be by to "get his stuff." She, of course, never showed up to get his stuff and kept messaging me to change the plans. I finally told her that I did not want to hear about her plans to come get the stuff. It will be here when you find the time. It's been an entire week and two weekends since she pulled him, and about 3 or 4 weeks since I last saw the kid. EYEROLL. lol These people...honestly..

[Blackcat31]

Over the last 2 years, I’ve had to add and change some. However, I feel like if I change too many all the time, my DCF will think I’m just making it up as I go or doing it out of spite… KWIM? Which I sort of am making it up as I go when yet another stupid issue comes up - but then I feel like they respect me less. I’m getting better about enforcing what I have now and standing up for my business, but I feel like that’s not enough..

This is an interesting topic to me as I see providers that are in all sorts of stages of the game and where you are in that process definitely impacts how you manage your business, kids and parents. I started with a couple simple policies that I figured were normal and were basically an outline of what my state required me to put in writing. As the years went by and I actually experienced bad clients, awful children and some eye opening realizations (not everyone respects others, believes the same etc) I wrote a parent policy handbook. Six pages at first but then as I encountered new situations that I didn't want to deal with again I added to that policy book. It ended up having a table of contents, a copywrite, color coded sections, numbered pages all the way to #36 and a laminated cover. (if you wanna see it, let me know and I can share it with you)

Fast forward to today and I haven't updated it since 2014 I think.... because as you said above I am making it up as I go along now. Why? Because other than the obvious; pay on time, drop off/pick up on time, don't send sick kids and stop texting outside of business hours, I HAVE to make it up as I go along. I am no longer good at predicting parent or child behaviors as they are walking the squiggly line verses the straight and narrow so I am forced to deal with things as they happen.

Fortunately though.....I've been doing this long enough now that my clients are the same age or younger than my own children so having to speak up, be blunt or even "parent" them is easy to do. In my eyes, they are all babies that have so much growing/learning to do that I don't really give two shakes of a donkey's tail if they like me or not.
I don't even care if they respect me as long as they act respectful TO me. There are a couple parents that I like, some I don't like, a few I know actually listen to me and take my advice or words to heart and others that just smile to my face, hear blah blah blah and don't care at all but that's okay. I am not trying to change the world. I am just trying to make sure I remain the master of mine so that I stay sane and willing to show up for the job everyday with a smile (fake or not) on my face.

So back to policies, I honestly don't think I've even sent my policy book to the last 4 or 5 clients I've signed on (my contract? Yes!) because again my requirements (payment etc) is obvious and I discuss them indepth during the interview but if anything arises that I didn't think would or could or any circumstance turns into a situation that warrants changing or correcting I just do it in words.... "Hey, Jane yesterday when you dropped off Grace, she was hungry and her diaper was wet. After today you will need to make sure she has had breakfast before drop off and that her diaper is clean and dry. If not, you will get a call for pick up. Thanks!" Sometimes I'll throw a bit of humor in and sometimes I just give them the stare with a straight face showing I mean business; depends on the parent.

So anyways, my point is, it's okay if you are making it up as you go along. If parents didn't continually try and find the easy way this job would be easier but it appears now days it's a mix of caring for children AND policing parents. So go ahead....make it up as you go along and start learning to put less value on whether or not your clients respect or like you. In the grand scheme of things, it doesn't matter. What really matters is how much YOU respect and like yourself.

[GirlMomma]

Thank you, BC! ❤️ All of what you said makes perfect sense.

[Alwaysgreener]

GirlMomma I completely changed my policies within my first 3 months after being open. I only had one family at the time but policies that I did not think that I needed or that I thought weren't important became very important and I saw the importance of those policies. Like not allowing car seats to be left, after dcm accused my dd of messing with the straps (it was her dd), paying the week before when dcm would come in sit down with her checkbook, talk a lot, and then get up without writing the check, I would always have to "remind" her write it. After she was fired from her job after 4 months. I completely dumped and started from scratch making sure I had policies that I did not understand why they were policies yet, like babies not needing to be fed with in the first hour of the day. That one has recently proven to be important.

[GirlMomma]

I changed mine 4 months after I opened, too. I didn’t change any this past January but I am adding all federal holidays as paid, closed holidays for 2023.

I need to make changes now because I am tired of parents showing up at the last minute. I recently started doing contracted hours for new families. I’m highly considering doing it for current families.

[Alwaysgreener]

yeah to the contract hours.

[gumdrops]

Manipulative kids drive me crazy!!! They know which kids they can target to get them to do what they want or take their toy or spot in line, etc. I struggle to know when to step in. The child being manipulated doesn't realize it's happening, so they aren't upset about it, but the manipulator knows 100% what they are doing and I hate allowing them to get away with it! I have one who is 5.5 and will age out in May and the other one is 4.8, so I still have another year. I'm sure one of my younger ones will step into the role soon!

[GirlMomma]

Last summer, I had a SA girl who manipulated all the kids and her sibling all day. I’d hear her whisper “Hey Susie, tell GirlMomma you want a piece of candy.” or if we were outside “Hey Billy, tell GirlMomma it’s hot and you want to go in.” It drove me crazy! 😂

[Alwaysgreener]

Had a 5 year old boy wants to tell his sister that if she didn't do what he wanted he wasn't going to be his her brother anymore. He would also say that to my daughter, tell her he's not her friend anymore.

I tried talking to him about how that was wrong and he would try to find different ways to get what he wanted. At one time he came to me and told me that they (his sister and my daughter) we're being mean to him because they wouldn't do what he wanted. I couldn't help that's not how it works.

[fivestarday]

gumdrops Some people might call these manipulators "leaders" or "strong personalities." Not me. haha Seeing kids taken advantage of by other kids is frustrating, indeed!

[fivestarday]

My vent of the day... Parents putting their stuff on my kitchen island or on the little kids table that the DCKs eat at. By stuff I mean... a car seat, diaper bags, purses, shoes, whatever is in their hands. I clean and sanitize the table and then BAM, gotta do it again. And again. And again. The DCKs have a cubby labeled with their name. Why in the world does anyone think their car seat is clean enough to put on my table?? Just put it on the floor! LOL Before you suggest that I have a more conveniently placed table for them to put things on, know that I have done this already. My table, placed within arm's length of the entrance, was never used. lol I think it was invisible and only I could see it.

I must be magical.

Also, a minor vent...dominant toddler personalities to the point where the other kids get nervous or upset when the dominant kid gets close. This dominant personality is also the one who wants what everyone else has and intends to take it at all costs. Thank Goodness kids grow and change every day and are trainable.

[Cat Herder]

And that is why none of that is allowed in my home. Also, pick-ups and drop-offs are outside. I'd bet it save me five hours per week of stress and frustration.

[GirlMomma]

I no longer have a chatty Kathy here so I started allowing parents back inside. I meet them at the door where their children must take off their shoes and coats. No bags, no car seats, no bugs, no germs, no extra work.

Spring begins Sunday. It’s the perfect time to send out a seasonal newsletter and remind parents of your policies or make changes to save yourself the headache.

[Cat Herder]

I am ready for the "My kid is not violent, he has an unmet need." crowd to move to some remote 80's version Cobra Kai commune.

[Cat Herder]

Annalee, I was typing at the same time as you. lol!!! I just got distracted by cheetos and forgot to hit post.

But you know I agree with you 100%

[Annalee]

Right back at ya, CH! Total agreement with ya!

[GirlMomma]

Yes, we are absolutely raising parents and it’s obnoxious. Along with government, taking a parenting class in high school should be a requirement.

[fivestarday]

Based on so many of the comments, I'm pretty dang lucky in the parent department. But I have had several who were also difficult. I let them go within 3 weeks typically.

[GirlMomma]

I’m jealous 😂

[Blackcat31]

Im having surgery friday. A family with 2 kids shows up with 2 sick kids- runny nose. If i get sick my surgery will be canceled….im freaking out. Not sure if i can exclude for it just because im worried about getting sick. But i find it a lil rude, since they know im having surgery…

Just checking in to see how your surgery went? Hopefully no complications with the procedure, recovery or with your daycare families/kids etc...

[Momboss]

It went great! All the families were great too. Thanks for checking in

[Alwaysgreener]

School age shows up today with a tote full of books that he is taking school for a book swap. His grandma takes him to school when he's with her on Monday Wednesday and Friday. But he brings this heavy tote with over 50 books to my house to take on the bus and then into the school. This kid can barely carry that cloth tote, he fell down coming into my house. Halfway down the driveway I took the tote from him because I felt bad. (Long driveway)

[Sparkles]

I'm so bummed! My husband and oldest son are going out of town today. I so badly wanted to go, but it was way too last minute to close One of the downsides about this profession is having to plan if you want a day off, and not just being able to do something spontaneous. At least I'll get a night alone with our youngest and our oldest will get alone time with his dad

[PB&J]

Alone time between parent and child is very special! I’m sorry you couldn’t go too, but I think the silver lining in that cloud is a wonderful unexpected bonus. I hope you all enjoy your buddy time.

[GirlMomma]

I hope you enjoy time with your youngest! ❤️ We just had something similar like this happen. I took our youngest DD to dinner (at McDonald’s LOL) that night 💕

[Sparkles]

I've got a dcg who only comes Fridays, but she's the first one here and the last one to leave every single week. Dcm gets off at 3, too! She's been the only one here now for over 45 minutes...please come get your child. She's been here for over 10 hours. I'm ready for the weekend

[Alwaysgreener]

Have you ever considered closing earlier on Fridays?

[Annalee]

We were all together at a funeral this past week and now over 25 people have the flu.....I think everyone's immunes are down from the past few years of the pandemic......nevertheless, not happy anyone is sick, but happy it's the flu

[e.j.]

Prior to the pandemic, could you imagine you'd ever say, "Happy it's the flu"? lol I hope all 25 are feeling better soon!

[Springvalley]

We were all together at a funeral this past week and now over 25 people have the flu.....I think everyone's immunes are down from the past few years of the pandemic......nevertheless, not happy anyone is sick, but happy it's the flu

Oh no! Hope everyone is better very soon

[Alwaysgreener]

New baby has acid reflux and on breast milk. This week he's spitting up more than normal. After I gave him his bottle, this morning he spit up and some of it landed in my mouth.

[e.j.]

Yuck! Gross enough when it's your own baby's spit! So much worse when it's someone else's!

[Springvalley]

Just me but would you say something if a teacher put pictures of their classroom on their personal page & one is of their bulletin board with childrens names on it?

[GirlMomma]

If it’s she’s breaking the center’s social media or privacy policy, yes. If she’s not breaking either policy, I personally wouldn’t worry about it.

[Cat Herder]

If it is first names, only, I would leave it alone. I have duplicate names almost constantly as I am sure everyone else does, too. The great vowel swap + add unnecessary letters is almost at an end, whoop!! Joe = Jeioux. Shoot me, you teach him to write his name yourself, DCM. I am tapping out.