The Venting Thread

[Eleamo84]

"Just me but would you say something if a teacher put pictures of their classroom on their personal page & one is of their bulletin board with childrens names on it?"

I usually give a heads up to new teachers. I usually say, "Hey, I noticed that you posted pictures of your classroom on 'social media page' and I saw the kids names in that one picture of the bulletin board. I didn't know if you saw that and I wanted to give you the chance to take it down in case a parent saw it and brought it to our supervisor's attention. Just didn't want you to get in trouble.

[Blackcat31]

That is a great way to mention it as I am sure the child care has a confidentiality policy that the state requires all staff follow. Also if the staff person qualifies as a teacher not just a helper, then she more than likely would have been taught about the importance of confidentiality over all in this profession as I know it's part of certification in most, if not all states.

[BaileeB]

I am so annoyed by parents who baby their kids to the point that it causes issues. I get not wanting your kids to grow up but I have one DCM who carries her 3 year old (who is in 4-5T clothes - she’s a big girl) in to my house every morning and then coddles her and talks it out with her while she yells and screams and kicks and back talks for 15 mins before she leaves. In my head I’m like PLEASE JUST PUT HER DOWN AND LEAVE!!!! Dragging it out is one of my biggest pet peeves because it makes it hard on everyone and it’s a big show for the other kids who then want to act out and be held. She is also still in diapers even though she shows every sign of being ready to potty train and her language is very advanced. I have no idea why they haven’t started potty training aside from the fact that they are afraid for her to “grow up”. I taught this child how to put her own shoes on within the first week (she started at 2.5) and her mom almost CRIED and couldn’t believe “her baby is getting so big”. Over shoes. 🤦♀️ And then I have another DCM who lets DCG2.5 drink out of a “sippy cup” that is like a 6-9mo stage one (basically a bottle) and DCG will SCREAM in the morning sometimes for 20 minutes because she wants the bottle. She will literally stand inside the door and scream and cry, snot and drool rolling down the front of her for 20 minutes straight. Longer if I say anything to her. I have to completely ignore her or she will keep going. If any of the other kids say anything she will start up again. I almost had DCM come get her today because I was so over it and it was upsetting my ds who is 6 months. And it’s just a huge disruption to everyone else. Just WHY?!

[GirlMomma]

I am not sure what it is with girls but I just mutually parted with a 3YO girl who did the same thing. DCP would call her “princess” and plead with her to do what they wanted.

When she started with me at 2.75YO it was just crying. She would eventually calm down. When it started to get progressively worse, I gave her a special thing to do when she’d come in like a big girl. But after she turned 3YO, she got even worse. She began kicking and screaming all the way from the car to the door. When she started kicking me and others, I told DCP she had two weeks to straighten up or I’d term. I started corralling the other DCK away from her and I would force her parents to deal with her behavior. DCM left with the child one day because she couldn’t get her to calm down. A week later, same thing continued. Her last day, DCD got her in the door and left. After 10 minutes of kicking, screaming and crying, I called for DCM to pick her up and they decided to go ahead and pull her.

My advice, give her something “special” to do when she comes in like a big kid, like coloring or playing with play dough. If it doesn’t improve, tell the parents she has xx amount of days/weeks to improve or you’ll term.

Sometimes you have to force the parent to actually parent their children. I have no regrets on how I handled the situation at all. My mornings are very peaceful now!

[BaileeB]

I have almost termed 2.5YO more than once but she gets her act together for a few weeks and is fine but then she goes right back to it. The problem is that this girl is STUBBORN. Everything I ask her is “NO” and then more crying. I literally have to completely ignore her for at least 20 minutes (which makes me feel HORRID) and then once she starts to play with the other kids and act normal, I can ask her if she wants breakfast or to take her shoes off, etc. She typically loves playing with DD who is 4 but even that doesn’t help some days. She will scream no at her.

The 3YO is perfectly fine once DCM leaves. Literally does not care. And some days she will PUSH DCM out the door or shut the door in her face (tbh it makes me kind of happy when she does 😅😆) but other days she CLINGS and then as soon as the door is shut she’s happy and smiling and doesn’t even care. It’s the manipulation and knowing she has control over DCM. I have watched her ORDER DCM to go to the car and get her a fruit snack for breakfast. And DCM does it! Once she even apologized to DCG because all she had were cereal bars and no fruit snacks. (MAJOR EYEROLL). I always reassure mom that DCG does not even bat an eye or cry when she leaves (unless DCM hangs out too long or let’s DCG play on her phone on the drive over) and still DCM will not just drop her off and go.

Thankfully I am taking a 6 month break and when I reopen I will have new and very strict drop off policies! Children will be handed off at the door. No parents coming in to hang out and say goodbye, ring the doorbell, hand off your child and leave. And if DCK hits, kicks, throws toys or things, or cries for more than 10-15 mins, DCP can come get them. I am going to make a lot of parents mad but it will make me MUCH happier 👍

[GirlMomma]

We’re half way through Spring Break and Friday can’t get here fast enough.

[Sparkles]

I've had a scheduled closure next week for 2 months now. It was in February and Marchs' newsletters, and it's been on the parent board for 2 months. I had one dcm who only comes one day a week, inform me that her child may or may not be here next week, but she'll let me know. NO, she won't, because daycare is closed. "Oh, you are? Okay, that's fine then."

Read the messages and newsletters I send out...there's important information in there. I don't do them for fun. One of my biggest pet peeves

[Springvalley]

I have almost termed 2.5YO more than once but she gets her act together for a few weeks and is fine but then she goes right back to it. The problem is that this girl is STUBBORN. Everything I ask her is “NO” and then more crying. I literally have to completely ignore her for at least 20 minutes (which makes me feel HORRID) and then once she starts to play with the other kids and act normal, I can ask her if she wants breakfast or to take her shoes off, etc. She typically loves playing with DD who is 4 but even that doesn’t help some days. She will scream no at her.

The 3YO is perfectly fine once DCM leaves. Literally does not care. And some days she will PUSH DCM out the door or shut the door in her face (tbh it makes me kind of happy when she does 😅😆) but other days she CLINGS and then as soon as the door is shut she’s happy and smiling and doesn’t even care. It’s the manipulation and knowing she has control over DCM. I have watched her ORDER DCM to go to the car and get her a fruit snack for breakfast. And DCM does it! Once she even apologized to DCG because all she had were cereal bars and no fruit snacks. (MAJOR EYEROLL). I always reassure mom that DCG does not even bat an eye or cry when she leaves (unless DCM hangs out too long or let’s DCG play on her phone on the drive over) and still DCM will not just drop her off and go.

Thankfully I am taking a 6 month break and when I reopen I will have new and very strict drop off policies! Children will be handed off at the door. No parents coming in to hang out and say goodbye, ring the doorbell, hand off your child and leave. And if DCK hits, kicks, throws toys or things, or cries for more than 10-15 mins, DCP can come get them. I am going to make a lot of parents mad but it will make me MUCH happier 👍

🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡 🧡
Best thing I've read all day!

[Springvalley]

If it is first names, only, I would leave it alone. I have duplicate names almost constantly as I am sure everyone else does, too. The great vowel swap + add unnecessary letters is almost at an end, whoop!! Joe = Jeioux. Shoot me, you teach him to write his name yourself, DCM. I am tapping out.

Thank you so much Cat Herder for your advice, I'm just going to leave it alone because its actually just first names so not really a big deal. I guess I worried because of how our world is today with everything going on

[GirlMomma]

I switched over to contracted hours with new families coming in - I felt it was pointless to do with my current families.

So my first family on contracted hours told me in the interview she’ll be dropping off at 8 and picking up about 3-3:30. DCK has been getting picked up anywhere from 2:50-3:30.

It’s almost 4 and DCK is still here. I was getting ready to call the family and I checked the contract… SHE PUT 5 ON THE CONTRACT! 🤬

[Alwaysgreener]

Oh no, I always complete that for them. I have some more ask me for an extra 15 minutes after I send them the contract and I will adjust that on my end and give them a copy.

[GirlMomma]

Momboss No, same base rate. I do charge if they’re late picking up past their contracted time and don’t accept them into care if they're not here at the drop off time without a phone call.

I thought about doing a tiered rate depending on the pick up time but I figured it would be too much to keep up with. Now that I see my first family found the loop hole to contracted hours, I am going to the tier it.

[GirlMomma]

Alwaysgreener NOTED! Seeing that ticked me off!

[Sahm121]

This isn’t a true vent, but only someone in the field would understand. This morning, dcf was in a fender bender and dcm comes in with dck and explains how the car is totaled and dcd is a hysterical mess.
i try not to judge, I really do, but really. Your car is totaled and you’re struggling and your first instinct is to bring kid to daycare? Shouldn’t that be a moment where you go home and hug your kids and thank God everyone is safe?

im not going to say anything to them obviously, but it broke my heart for dck, he’s little and probably doesn’t understand but this morning started out weird and he can sense it. So extra snuggles and I’ll give extra snuggles to my kids when they get home from school

[Blackcat31]

Totally agree but knowing the way some parents are now days, I am sure her first instinct was to "ditch her kid" because she really didn't know what to do with him being upset etc. I know that isn't nice but I have seen some really odd reactions to a kid melting down that tells me parents are literally clueless and honestly have no idea how to parent their children. It's all a series of bribes and poor attempts to placate them with no real substance to their actions. Glad you were able and willing to comfort DCK. Hopefully the accident didn't harm him or his mother.

[Alwaysgreener]

Something that I know I would not be thinking about in your position but would have been something that would have hit me later. Anytime that you are in any kind of accident, as the shock wears off, the injuries start to appear. Liability wise in a group setting we probably consider not taking a child after an accident, especially in a fender bender where the car got hit so bad that it was totaled.

I have never had to total my car after a fender bender (a minor accident that you can drive safely away from with minimal damage). Any time when the car needs to be totaled, there are injuries either internal and/or external to the passengers.

So keep a close eye on dck for a while.

[livinglife]

1 year old cries/whines every morning the past 2 months because he can't stand for me put him down to play. He wasn't doing this before. He loved to crawl around and play. He was quite independent. He's your typical kid, nothing going on that's effecting his health or mobility.

If I put him in the little rocker, he's good. He immediately stops crying. But that's not something I want to make a habit because I feel he should be spending time moving around, trying to stand, exploring, etc. I really hope he grows out of this phase really soon.

[BaileeB]

I have a 14 month old that started right after she turned one and she had never been in daycare before. When I tell you she cried non stop, I mean NON. STOP. all day. For 2 weeks straight. Now, she doesn’t want to leave when mom gets here to get her. I started out holding her as much as I reasonably could and talking to and/or consoling her as much as possible while also taking care of my 6mo. Every day I held her a little less and started just offering her toys. I had some of the other kids sit and play with her and by the time the two weeks was up she was running in to play with the other kids. I think it’s the separation anxiety stage and it’s something you have to help them get past. Don’t get me wrong, it was very irritating in the beginning and I considered terming at the end of the two week trial but then she finally calmed down and she’s the sweetest thing now.

[Sahm121]

1 year old cries/whines every morning the past 2 months because he can't stand for me put him down to play. He wasn't doing this before. He loved to crawl around and play. He was quite independent. He's your typical kid, nothing going on that's effecting his health or mobility.

If I put him in the little rocker, he's good. He immediately stops crying. But that's not something I want to make a habit because I feel he should be spending time moving around, trying to stand, exploring, etc. I really hope he grows out of this phase really soon.

My dck just turned one on 3/1. He’s been in that stage for going on 5 weeks. Has lost ALL independence skills…. Whiny nonstop. Today I couldn’t even turn away from him without a tantrum. Parents are trying SO hard to keep him a baby and all they’re doing is creating a child that cries all day. Putting a star on the calendar today. If I still feel the same in 2 weeks, I’m giving notice. They caused this, they can handle it

[livinglife]

My dck just turned one on 3/1. He’s been in that stage for going on 5 weeks. Has lost ALL independence skills…. Whiny nonstop. Today I couldn’t even turn away from him without a tantrum. Parents are trying SO hard to keep him a baby and all they’re doing is creating a child that cries all day. Putting a star on the calendar today. If I still feel the same in 2 weeks, I’m giving notice. They caused this, they can handle it

Mine turned one the same week as yours. I'm going to ask the parents what's going on at home. Is he doing the same? What are they doing in response? I hope it's not them or others holding him all the time. But this their second child in my care and they're generally pretty good. Maybe he's just being stubborn.

[Alwaysgreener]

Sahm121 and livinglife Are they walking or crawling?
Sometimes if they are not walking and you can find a way to make them mobile (other than carrying them) helps. I recommend a push walker or something that they can lean on and go forward.
https://smile.amazon.com/s?k=push+wa...f=nb_sb_noss_1

[Blackcat31]

Sahm121 livinglife Sounds like the DCK's are experiencing Mental Leap 9.
Super interesting info https://www.thewonderweeks.com/mental-leap-9/

"During these mental developmental leaps, however, your toddler's world is being rocked. He's learning that there are whole new layers to the way the world works. This is incredibly disruptive to his experience of life. During mental developmental leaps toddlers often have difficulty sleeping, may eat poorly, are clingier, are crankier, cry more, act a little more like babies, and the symptoms go on.

The fussy phases for most of the leaps last 3-6 weeks. In between the leaps are a period of 1-6 calmer weeks, depending on the leap.

Mental Leap 9 is the one where your child gains the skills to begin to manipulate and try to get his way. So he's not only crankier, he's also practicing his new skill of whining to get his way."

[Sahm121]

Sahm121 livinglife Sounds like the DCK's are experiencing Mental Leap 9.
Super interesting info https://www.thewonderweeks.com/mental-leap-9/

"During these mental developmental leaps, however, your toddler's world is being rocked. He's learning that there are whole new layers to the way the world works. This is incredibly disruptive to his experience of life. During mental developmental leaps toddlers often have difficulty sleeping, may eat poorly, are clingier, are crankier, cry more, act a little more like babies, and the symptoms go on.

The fussy phases for most of the leaps last 3-6 weeks. In between the leaps are a period of 1-6 calmer weeks, depending on the leap.

Mental Leap 9 is the one where your child gains the skills to begin to manipulate and try to get his way. So he's not only crankier, he's also practicing his new skill of whining to get his way."

Thanks! I’m on week 6 so hopefully ends soon: I’ve never had a child have this stage last so long and I’ve been doin this almost 13 years.

[Cat Herder]

Last year: "Cut down on meat, eat larger portions of vegetables." - high cholesterol

This year: Eat more meat, lay off starchy vegetables. - high triglycerides, iron deficient anemia

Agggghhhhh......

That is all.

[Cat Herder]

And he has lost his mind if he thinks I am going to start on organ meats. My family is only one generation from having to eat that. Tripe, livers, kidneys and brains? Just nope.

[Annalee]

I'm a grazer, always have been, but during covid It was worse as I didn't 'walk' each day like I should and gained some pounds.....still a grazer and have been taking Krill OIL to lower my numbers per my doctor at last physical. She wanted to put me on a prescription pill but before that came out of her mouth, I asked to let me try krill oil I haven't returned for follow-up yet. But I'm still a grazer.....LOL What's a girl to do?

[Alwaysgreener]

I had a physical with a PA last summer, it did not go well. She was rude and discriminatory. Anyway she told me to cut back on beef, eat fish, stop drinking soda pop.

At that time and still now, I only eat beef two to three times a month, if that. I only drink soda pop maybe once a month if we go out to eat, I don't buy it for the house except for New Year's, so we can have root beer floats. Never been fond of fish but I had to laugh when I had an allergy test recently and fish is something I'm allergic to. So I don't plan on taking her advice anytime soon.

[Blackcat31]

Neighbor kids. So tired of them playing hockey in the street and being a hazard for traffic. When DCP's come pick up the neighbor kids spread out onto all sides of the road instead of just gathering in one spot so they are visible. Then they resume their game when parent is inside and I am nervous about them possibly hitting one of their cars with their sticks or puck. Yesterday they were playing with a tennis ball and it kept getting hit into my yard so they'd come over to retrieve it setting my cameras off . Wouldn't be such a big deal but it's like every couple minutes.

I wish they would just play in their own yard and stop using the street as a playground. Especially since there is an empty school yard two blocks away they could use.

I am quickly becoming "that" neighbor....... "Get off my lawn!!"