The Venting Thread

[Alwaysgreener]

Sa DCB comes in and he's coughing. Dcd says it is allergies. DCB sulks at the table and then after 35 asks me to text his dad to come get him. I do text dad and he has not responded after 25 minutes. That makes DCB sad, you could so see it in his face knowing that his dad did not respond when he requested help.

I am not keeping him all day, he needs to get on the bus. I told him to go to the office when he gets to school and tell them that he doesn't feel good.

About 4 minutes before the bus arrives I get a text from Dad asking me to contact grandma to come get him. First thought why didn't you contact grandma. But I feel bad for the boy and I text Grandma. As I'm texting grandma, mom text to see if I can call. I call her and she's trying to talk him into feeling better as the bus pulls up. I confirm with her that she wants me to put him on the bus and she says yes.

I hang up from Mom and tell him again to go to the office and tell them. According to my daughter if anything he'll be able to lay down in the office.

This is not the first time he is so miserable but they insist that he goes to school. He has been jealous before that my daughter has stayed home when she's sick.

My guess is he will be getting off the bus with my daughter tonight. If this had been my daughter, she wouldn't have gone to school.

[Blackcat31]

I can't believe DCD asks you to call grandma. That would be his job not yours. I would have sent him to school as you did and not allowed his parents to play such silly games with you.

I also wanted to comment on the part where you said, DCD didn't reply for 25 minutes thus making DCB sad.... does DCB understand his parent is working and replying within a few minutes is not a reasonable expectation in my opinion. He is a child young enough to require childcare therefore should not have any type of expectation as to how quickly DCD responds to the provider.

[Alwaysgreener]

No he doesn't understand, he is the most all about me kid ever. Kidding but not. He is almost nine.

DCB: did Dad reply yet
Me: no
DCB: why doesn't he respond
Me: I don't know, but go to the office when you get to school

Honestly dcd normally responds a lot faster. Like the time when DCB saw the school menu posted on my refrigerator and realized that hot lunch was going to be something he was allergic to. I messaged dcd to let him know that dcb did not have a lunch. He messaged back within minutes saying that he thought that was on Friday only. I thought that dcd would have someone bring a lunch to the school but he didn't and DCB was starving when he got back to my house after school.

The thing is, I know some people that work at the school and if they informed the school what DCB was allergic to then the school would get an alternative for him that day.

[Alwaysgreener]

Yep he got off the bus, they never picked him up.

[Blackcat31]

New baby started off so good! Parents followed my suggestions on how to prepare baby for care and it seemed baby was going to be a breeze to integrate into our day. Plays independently, takes a bottle great and has a good nap routine.

FF to week #3 and baby has suddenly developed a "need" to be held all day, can't drink more than 1-2 ounces at a time and wakes after falling asleep the second another child talks, laughs or makes any type of noise.

I toughed it out for a day or two before mentioning it to parents figuring it was just a short phase or that perhaps baby was coming down with something. No, not the case at all. Parent grudgingly admitted that since returning to work they 'miss child' so much that they are holding baby the entire time the child is home.
They've even begun co-sleeping! Parent also says baby will drink a swallow or two before smiling and wanting to interact with parent and since parent just "misses the baby" so much they can't pass up the opportunity to spend every second snuggling and holding them and since they are holding them baby can take a tiny mouthful of bottle at their leisure.

UGH! I told parent I will begin calling for pick up if baby hasn't eaten, slept or played independently to the point it causes a disruption of our regular day. Parent literally looked like a deer in the headlights and I could totally read the thought bubble above their head wondering if I was serious or not.

I get it. I honestly and truly do! Especially since I am a new grandma and want to snuggle my grandbaby all day long!! But if baby is going to be in group care, parents must do what's right by their child and make sure they are prepared to be in group care all day. I have done this enough times to know if a parent is going to get their ducks in a row or not within a few days of being talked to so I am crossing my fingers this family is one of them. If not, I won't hesitate to term. I don't have it in me to endure a year of listening to a screeching, unhappy baby.

[Annalee]

Hope it gets better but.....parents these days do not have good track records

[Blackcat31]

Here is a funny/vent... keep in mind I had a crazy, chaotic week with lots of needy kids etc.....

I had just sat the last kid down at the lunch table yesterday to eat and was 2 minutes into the meal when the phone rang. Parent inquiring about daycare for an "almost 2 year old". I told parent I don't have an opening right now but they can fill out the inquiry form on my website and possibly be placed on my waitlist. Parent asked a few questions about how long the list is, do I have part time or full time spaces etc...

I tried to get off the phone quickly stating I was right in the middle of lunch (Parent kept saying "are you talking to me?" every time I spoke to a DCK) and that my website would answer 99% of the questions they were asking. Parent keeps talking..... I again direct them to my website. Hang up.

Phone rings less than 3 minutes later!
Parent says my program looks great and is exactly what they're looking for.
I'm confused because my site is pretty big/elaborate and there is no way they read anything more than the front page in 3 minutes time.

I'm still in middle of lunch so I repeat I will call them back later or they can fill out inquiry form and I will email them as I am WORKING right now.

90 minutes later my phone rings again. Caller ID shows same #. I am still working.... I ignore the phone and let it go to voicemail. No voicemail left.
45 minutes later... phone rings. Same number/parent. I answer and again say, I haven't had a chance to call them back but they can fill out the inquiry form on my website and I can call or email them back when ......I....am.....NOT......busy working!!

FF a couple hours
15 minutes before I am closing the phone rings. Not the same number so I answer. It's the other parent!!!
Asks if I am going to be able to start their 3 year old or not. I state other parent said child was almost 2. Parent replies with something inaudible.
Parent says "I suppose you have to do some sort of meeting beforehand right?" (face palm)
I repeat basically the same thing I said early. Go read my website.


I am not even entertaining the idea of enrolling this family.

I understand some parents do not get how daycare works etc but if you can't understand basic conversation and/or follow directions after being told multiple times I am not the right program for you. Definitely dodged a bullet with this one.

[e.j.]

Wow! I can't imagine why you wouldn't want to enroll them, though. ;-) ;-) ;-)

[Blackcat31]

The mom called again on Friday (same time as previously) and I told her I didn't have time to talk since I was in the middle of lunch again. I said, it would be best if she stopped calling and filled out the inquiry form so I knew her daycare needs etc and that we couldn't move forward unless she did that. I have no intention of enrolling as they're already used up my "per family" allotment of stress...lol!

I got an email this morning. They finally filled out my inquiry form. The child is close to 2 years of age, they need care so they can look for a job and they don't have any means of paying for daycare (haven't applied for assistance or anything yet) but want to know if I am willing to wait until they are employed first and have some of their bills caught up before starting payment with me. They suggested AFTER they are caught up, they'd be willing to pay $25 per week for past due care and current rate each week.

Good thing it was an email because I couldn't stop shaking my head and laughing. As CH says, "Daycare is not a charity"

I simply emailed back and stated I don't operate that way but they were welcome to email/inquire again about space AFTER they're caught up with their bills and can pay daycare costs upfront.

I doubt I will hear from them again. At least I hope not!!

[e.j.]

Yikes! It's that kind of inquiry that makes you wonder if someone isn't playing a practical joke on you! lol

[Cat Herder]

Sunday - I have my hair up like usual.

DH: Why don't you ever wear your hair down anymore? It is so pretty that way.

Me: I don't know, habit, I guess.

Today - I wear my hair down.

1st kid arrives: I am changing his diaper. I turn my head to talk to him. My hair falls into the dirty diaper.

Now I remember why I wear my hair up. Because I don't live in a fairy castle with staff, that's why.

So how's your morning going?

[Blackcat31]

Totally hear you! Recently cut about 8 inches off. Hubby says, "get bangs I miss you with bangs" I get bangs. They are in my face and driving me mad!
I wear a pony tail every day for the very reason you do. I wont ever cut my hair short enough that I can't get it into a pony tail. My hair is so thick that it's often still wet when I take my pony out at the end of the day. lol!

[Annalee]

My hair is long but not real thick....have too many hot flashes to wear it down.....messy bun or pony tail.....no exceptions. LOL

[e.j.]

Oh, yuck! lol Definitely one reason I keep my hair short.

[Blackcat31]

Anyone have "THAT" kid who's voice is just not pleasant to your ears? I have one that is much like fingernails on a chalkboard and the older they get the MORE they speak.

[Alwaysgreener]

I did he left last July. He had a slurring whiny tone.

[Cat Herder]

Happily, I do not right now. I am still miffed that I can't enjoy the Polar Express movie because they cast THAT kid. Nails on a chalk board. Aggghhh
Eddie Deezen, you are killing me man!!

[e.j.]

I have one of those kids. Sweetest kid you ever want to meet but he talks a lot and his voice tends to be loud and shrill. He also has a speech impediment on top of it! By the end of the day each Monday, every thought that goes through my head starts to take on his voice and speech impediment. It takes all weekend for me to shake that voice from my brain, only for it to begin all over again the following Monday.

[Sparkles]

Every time a child doesn't want to leave at pick-up time, the parent always feels the need to tell me that they didn't even want to come in the first place. "You didn't want to come this morning, now you don't want to leave?" "Come on, it's time to go! You were kicking and screaming the whole way here about coming." Why tell me? I find it hurtful

[Blackcat31]

I get that too... it's like it makes the parent feel better that their kid is crying about going home. I am always tempted to toss in a "Well, I wasn't looking forward to seeing you today either yet here you are." lol!

[Alwaysgreener]

So my daughter's school is having a reward day on Friday. They are showing a movie that we don't approve of. The email states that if you don't want your child to view the movie, contact the office to opt out.

I did and I copied the teacher to let her know too. The teacher responds back that my daughter and do school work during the movie. I don't think that's fair that my daughter should have at your school work when she's supposed to be rewarded for being good.

When the teacher told me that she my daughter stay in at recess to get caught up before spring break, I was okay with that not during a reward time.

[Alwaysgreener]

I talked to the office and the movie is shortly after school starts. That their is a plan for someone to play games with the kids that can't attend and I can keep her home. ( She will need to do morning woke from home and miss morning announcements and then go to school for lunch...)

I get that you can't accommodate kids that can't go but you also don't take "attendance" and have to report to the state when a child misses too many days (10 days is my state limit, covid related days don't count). Plus I am willing to keep her home, especially if she the only one, so DD doesn't feel like she's missing out by doing homework.

[Blackcat31]

Alwaysgreener If you choose to keep her home, I would insist that she not be counted as absent because it's not like you are choosing to have her "skip" school.

[Alwaysgreener]

Solved the art teacher is going to do art with her and a friend. The friend agreed.

[Pestle]

Kid whose parents keep sending her with cute choking hazards and cute nonfunctional shoes, and then blaming HER because she "insisted," sent her in a super-short dress with no shorts today. Hands in the underpants ALL DAY and I'm digging in my spare clothing bin but have nothing big enough because she should be in a preschool. If we all get pinkeye I'm gonna have to sit the parents down and explain what real clothing is and why their child must only and always wear real clothing here. So far it's been a game of Whac-A-Mole with every new boundary-pushing clothing item. Like "She didn't want to wear socks today."

[Annalee]

This clothing thing gets crazy; I had to tell families to stop sending their little girls in those pants-jumpsuit one-piece outfits.....just not feasible for many reasons. one parent thanked me for being so honest and upfront but another parent offered a snarky look, and another parent kept apologizing all day through text. Crazy!

[Alwaysgreener]

Can I be annoyed that not one package of breast milk is thawed? I normally get two liquid bottles and have time to thaw out milk.

[Sparkles]

Why are people disrespectful of time? Pick up needs to be done before closing time, not show up right at closing time. If the store closes at 8, I wouldn't show up at 8 to do my shopping. I would be out of the store by 8. I had a parent tell me he'll be picking up dcb right at closing time from now on, I had to explain it needs to be BEFORE closing

[Springvalley]

Alwaysgreener: can I ask what movie they are seeing that you don't approve of? Just curious.

[Alwaysgreener]

I request sunblock from the families but asked for spray only. When I apply lotion sunblock, I have to stop after each child to wash my hands and I have reacted to some of the lotions while applying them. If I react then I have to wash several times or take Benadryl to stop the reaction. (baby organic is not allowed because of this)

DCM messages that they are willing to send sunblock but they don't use the spray kind because the aerosol is bad for the kids to breathe.

I messaged back that I am unable to apply due to allergies. Please apply before arrival.

I failed to mention that spray sunblock comes in both aerosol and Pump spray.

[Blackcat31]

I wear disposable food type gloves. The cheap plastic kind so I don't get it on my hands and can use a new pair for each child.

[Alwaysgreener]

DCM replied asking if I am able to hand apply spray sunblock because they would be okay with that. I told her that I do not react to either the pump or aerosol spray, so I would be able to do that. Hopefully, she gets the hint that not all sprays are aerosol.

Blackcat31 Thanks for the suggestion. I will keep that in mind when I put the spray by hand on the baby.

When I react to lotion it is when the lotion gets on my arm vs on my palm.

[Alwaysgreener]

SA it's complaining that he's not feeling well again this morning. He did this last week too and parents refuse to pick him up, so he went to school and came back off the bus in the afternoon.

Today he suddenly had a stomach ache, I temped him and he did have a 99.6. I tried to distract him with conversation but he still complained.

Not sure what else to do I messaged the parents and they tell me to send him to school.

Until last week, he has never asked for me to contact his parents because he didn't feel well.

Last week they blamed it on allergies, this week they're blaming it on him not wanting to go to school, which is never been a problem in the past.

So my concern is why is he suddenly not wanting to go to school.

[Alwaysgreener]

This is his third school year here and he's never done this before. Although I don't recall any type of standardized test last year.

My own daughter is not stressing out about the test, maybe they're putting more stress on him than I am putting on my daughter about getting a good grade.

[Cat Herder]

The tests are very politicized this year. *They (fed budget people) are using the scores to validate previous covid spending of closing schools and extra taxpayer spending/taxes, and tighter budgets, to make up the educational gaps next year. The schools get meal write-offs, too. They hemorrhaged without the kids there in attendance. To slush funds. Well, that is how my senator explained it to us over lunch, anyway. He talks with his mouth full, I had to look away often

[GirlMomma]

In my state, the standardized tests for 3rd graders are very stressful for the teachers, student and parents. There is a lot of pressure on the child because the child HAS TO PASS the states standardized test in order to move onto 4th grade. Regardless of what their in classroom work/test scores show.

DD10 is an A/B average student with ADHD and testing anxiety. She failed her 3rd grade standardized test the first time she took it and had to take two weeks of summer school last summer. On the last day of summer school, she took it again. She passed it with a perfect score and moved onto 4th grade.

I didn’t sleep well at all the night before her test.

[Pestle]

17-month-old who screams bloody murder every time he wakes up. Has done since he started as a newborn. Has me and the parents flummoxed. Only gets worse if we take him out of the crib and try to calm him down. If I take him straight from the crib to the snack table, he sits at the snack table and screams and throws all the food and tries to tip himself out of his feeding chair.

Today, he woke up 40 minutes into what should've been a two hour nap, started screaming bloody murder, woke all the other kids up. I held him for a while, gave him a bottle, changed his diaper. He keeps escalating the screaming. All the other kids started crying because he was roaring so loudly today, so we have given up on naptime for them and are giving him a second attempt in his crib while the other kids play.

One of the other kids includes a preschooler who can't keep her hands to herself or her volume at an appropriate level and urinated all over the bathroom floor and then ran around the house in a panic, leaving puddles everywhere.

The only solution to the screaming I found is to buckle the 17 month old into a stroller and take everybody out for a walk. But the four month old has some kind of circulatory problem that makes his legs show dots of bleeding under the skin if he's put into a carrier. So we can't go out for walks while he's here, and he doesn't leave until 3:30 PM. I'm losing my mind. When the infant arrives tomorrow, I'm going to explain to his mother that she and the doctor must come up with some way that this child can be taken outside with the group in anything other than my arms/a crib.

[Sahm121]

For the screaming- it sounds like reflux and he screams because he’s in pain. The walking probably helps because he’s upright.
Do you have a double stroller you can put the 4 month in?

[GirlMomma]

DCG came dressed in a romper today. I can’t believe I have to have tell a parent that completely undressing their child for a diaper change is not acceptable for daycare.

DCG has extra clothes and will be changed after breakfast.