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Wow. 9 years and then just gone? See, this is how I know I did the right thing for myself moving on to something else. -
That makes a lot of sense. But it hurts! LOL I'm laughing at my own sensitivity here. -
I went to a birthday party of someone in my daughter’s class this year. Saw two families I used to care for, they wouldn’t even look at me. Lol. Did NOT leave on bad terms either. Both were very friendly and engaging while their kids came to me. One I expected. She was always just straight business. And when I saw her in school previously I would try to make eye contact to just wave and say hello and she would ignore me. The other, I was shocked. Normally she would say hi. She had contacted me a year ago to watch her son after school actually. And I got back with her and let her know I could and then I heard nothing. So I don’t know if that had something to do with it. Maybe she never got my text and thought I ghosted her??? Who knows. It did throw me. It did hurt my feelings. Regardless, it’s just best for me to be all business, no going to birthday parties, no socializing outside of work and if I see someone outside, a wave and a hello is sufficient.
I have seen other families though out that I used to keep and they approach me and everyone is friendly and normal. 🤣 and this was after I was done watching their kids. So it makes me feel better it was more a them issue and not a me issue. -
When I closed I wanted the clean break. The idea of parents contacting me the first few weeks after I closed sounds like a low layer of H e l l.
I keep up to date with some former families on Facebook and am glad to run into them at the store and such. Otherwise I had zero interest in interacting with them after I closed. But while open I also had a hard and fast “no socializing with clients” rule after a DCM tried to cross a major boundary early in my career.
The thing that sent me off the deep end a couple times was our local R&R. They didn’t take me off the provider list despite multiple emails & calls. Getting “do you have openings?” calls for a year afterwards was frustrating to say the least
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This just proves how, at the end of the day, we are a business! The closest family I had was a family with four children which I cared for over a 9 year span....always dreaded them leaving as it SEEMED we were so close! While it didn't end badly, it just simply ENDED! Just thought there would be more aforethought and feeling. Taught me a valuable lesson!
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It’s very common. They were a big part of your life but you aren’t a big part of theirs. Kwim?
Yes, you cared for their children so you felt close to them and their family and knew a lot about them but in their eyes you weren’t a part of their family as they didn’t spend everyday with you although their children did. Much like teachers.
Hoping that makes sense? Your feelings are very common though.
I doubt they don’t care, it’s just that your intimate relationship with their children meant being close to the kids. It doesn’t automatically mean the parents feel the same though.Leave a comment:
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One Month After Closing: Do I Even Still Exist? LOL
I'm writing to see if this is a common experience. My gut tells me it is. Since closing my daycare about a month ago, it is as if I never existed to the families I served. Maybe that's a bit dramatic. If they see me at the park, they will say hello and be polite. But I certainly feel that any interest in me as a human being was solely because I was providing a service. I have one parent who claims we are friends. Maybe we are. But in the two years of watching her kids, we have hung out one time. I have suggested probably 4 or 5 times that we get the kids together for a visit. She enthusiastically agrees. But it never happens. I know people are busy, but I just don't buy it.
My husband does not want to believe that my uncomfortable feeling of being forgotten is accurate. He wants to believe people are nice and caring. I am of the mindset that people, except the ones who really love you, only socialize with you if you are of some kind of use. That is why his social life is so active, and mine is not. He is a very useful man with many connections and lots of expert advice to give on a variety of subjects. Me? Not so much. I do intend to seek a social life and build one that is strong, but I do it with the understanding that it will be based on my usefulness, what can I teach, what can I provide, what can I give someone?
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