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Children That Play Violently

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  • Children That Play Violently

    Good afternoon everyone. I was just wondering if you have children who whenever they play they are pretending to destroy things, pretending to use guns and pretending to kill each other. How do you approach this and is this normal. TIA for all your help
    Last edited by Decadense; 3 weeks ago.

  • #2
    Here are some threads from our archive.

    GUN PLAY: https://www.daycare.com/forum/tags.php?tag=gun+play

    DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOUR: https://www.daycare.com/forum/tags.p...ctive+behavior

    DESTROYING THINGS: https://www.daycare.com/forum/tags.php?tag=destroy

    HITTING, KICKING, PINCHING, PUNCHING: https://www.daycare.com/forum/showthread.php?t=12108

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    • #3
      Originally posted by Michael View Post

      Thank you Michael

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      • #4
        I have only had to pretend guns and I use to tell them guns are not toys. Sometimes that will distract them enough to stop.

        But now I explain to them and to the parent, that the school rules include no gun play, that children can get suspended for doing so and that it is good for them to practice not pretending to shot someone now.

        I also will not purchase any toy with a gun or a gun for any child that is not mine.

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        • #5
          I do! I don’t buy any guns, but he will make guns out of Lego’s. Sometimes I’ve had to redirect the child and other times I will let it go because they’re playing a hunting game. I don’t allow them to play any game in which they shoot people, like cops and robbers or zombies.

          The child is 4.98YO and is aging out soon. If the child wasn’t aging out soon, I would probably refer them to a center, as I believe the child outgrew my program before he even started with me. My kids don’t normally play like this.

          Depending on the child’s age, I’d talk with the parent and explain what is appropriate play and what isn’t.

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          • #6
            We have kids that do that here and we redirect them and tell them not to play guns. I think it's what they are exposed to in the home environment and also what they watch on tv that impacts what they do at the center and with EVERYTHING that's happened not just this year so far but in years past it's gotten worse
            Christy Sewell

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            • #7
              I don't allow toy guns or anything that mimics a gun in my program either but I also take it to consideration what example the parents may be giving to their child. If guns are apart of their lives and something that they're comfortable with then nine times out of 10 the child is going to grow up being comfortable around guns having guns and so and so on so that's why you make sure that your parents beliefs somewhat align with yours so when you're making these things known to the children that guns are nothing to play with the parents are on board with you

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              • #8
                I don't buy toy guns for my daycare but I've had, and currently do have, boys that will make anything they're playing with into guns - sticks, Legos, pinecones and their own fingers. (It's almost always boys; I've never had a girl initiate gun play.) I've never encouraged this kind of play, but I also don't forbid it. They usually get bored with it and stop on their own eventually. I've learned over the years that the more I try to discourage it, the more they seem to want to play with their "guns".

                The two boys I have currently are not aggressive kids in general. They're high energy but well behaved and respectful. One of the boys is the son of a police officer and guns seem to be a part of their lives at home. The other boy is his best friend. I think that has a lot to do with why they're playing the way they are. Most of the time, they build their guns out of Legos, pretend to do some shooting with them and then they're over it. Both are heading off to kindergarten in the fall. I've explained to both boys that while I have been allowing them to play with their "guns" at my house, they will get in trouble if they do it at school. Their parents are aware, are ok with gun play at home and at my house and are giving the boys the same message about not doing it at school.

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                • #9
                  Thank you everyone for responding with all the great information and advice, I really appreciate it

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                  • #10
                    They know at my house the guns have to be water guns. They go around making water-squirting noises while aiming.

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                    • #11
                      I had one that constantly made guns out of legos and obsessively talked about HALO and snipers. He had halo costumes, toys and t-shits at home. His dad gamed in the living room and this kid see's it as how they are bonded now. Dad does not hunt and was never in the military or LEO, just a tacti-cool couch shooter. Did I like it? Nope. Could I change it? Nope.

                      The only thing I could do was teach gun safety. And I did. https://keepgunssafe.com/teaching-kids-gun-safety/

                      Anytime he pointed the "gun", even imaginary ones, at a person or put his finger on the "trigger" he went to soft seating with books and I messaged his parents. They got tired enough of the messages that they, too, taught gun safety. The parental/child obsession with HALO has not stopped, appears to have even escalated according to "cute" FB videos.

                      It's out of my hands now and I don't miss it, at all.

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                      • #12
                        I have had experiences with DCK's that have been gun obsessed (for various reasons) but these last few years I haven't had any issues with it and haven't had to have "that talk" with any parent. Not sure if it's because I have all girls or maybe just because the parents I have right now are more interested in downing a growler at the local micro-brewery than they are in video gaming or hunting but either way, it's refreshing not to have that issue right now.

                        I have noticed lately that a lot of my girls are spending time in the kitchen center talking about wine tasting and charcuterie boards...

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                        • Alwaysgreener
                          Alwaysgreener commented
                          Editing a comment
                          I think I soon will be joining you with the all girl day care, lol except for my son. Which when my daughter was growing up in my care, it was all boys and her. Lol I can't win.

                      • #13
                        Originally posted by Blackcat31 View Post
                        I have had experiences with DCK's that have been gun obsessed (for various reasons) but these last few years I haven't had any issues with it and haven't had to have "that talk" with any parent. Not sure if it's because I have all girls or maybe just because the parents I have right now are more interested in downing a growler at the local micro-brewery than they are in video gaming or hunting but either way, it's refreshing not to have that issue right now.

                        I have noticed lately that a lot of my girls are spending time in the kitchen center talking about wine tasting and charcuterie boards...
                        Lol🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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                        • #14
                          Originally posted by Blackcat31 View Post
                          I have noticed lately that a lot of my girls are spending time in the kitchen center talking about wine tasting and charcuterie boards...
                          That's hilarious!

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