Opinions Please….

[Polka Tots]

Hi Everyone!

I love my mother, but she is driving me up a wall and I am hoping someone can help me sort this debate her and I are having….

I was a nanny for decades. About 6 years ago, I started my own mobile toddler party business. During the pandemic, I expanded to making craft kits for kids (all taxes and through my llc business). Now, here I am a bit older (and my youngest is now off to school full time), so I am going open up a licensed home daycare (part-time, mornings).

If I talk to my mother about the business (about general things, like the hours, the name, etc…), she focuses on how I will be able to do like one shift “under the table”. She is thinking more of on a babysitting level. Like when you babysit for a day here and there and get cash….

For instance, this morning (we are away on vacation together), I’m excited, talking about how the licensing process is going and the hours I will advertise for and she chimes in…. “So, if you did 15 hours per week for a morning session, you could do like one afternoon session as an “extra” under the table”…

I am like….????


I am trying to get this through to her that this is not the same situation as when you are babysitting a day here and there, compared to when you are licensed by the state and working with children in your home.

And she still doesn’t believe me.

Do any of the seasoned providers have any kind words to put this topic with my mother to rest?

Thanks!

[SandBox]

Why does her opinion need to be changed? Is it effecting you in any way? If not, I’d just leave it alone. Maybe say, “No, I am not doing that.” And change subject. If you want to debate it then that’s a cause to think of something to say.

“I am going to be a reputable business that reports to the IRS. So, no under the table transactions will be going on. I also only want to work morning shift.”

[Cat Herder]

I understand where your mother is coming from. She is trying to save you the loss of self-employment taxes.

Just because you created your own job, the government feels the need to charge you more for your effort. Because they can. You do the work and they take more for the privilege. That really ticks off the generation that never had to buy insurance (health, auto, home, etc.) It was optional, for people who could afford it. They see that as yet another added tax. It is over 50% of my bills, now, but my parents did not even have it.

Inheritance tax. Tax on income. Tax on purchases. Tax on what you own. Tax on your own retirement savings as you withdraw after the original tax was already taken out. Etc.

She can't understand how you are ok with it and just wants you to keep a little back for a safety net without their prying eyes. It loosely translates to "I'm sorry everything sucks now, I love you." What she does not understand is that doing it will get you audited and could cost you more than you could ever save that way. It was not like that for her generation. Women could earn a little "pocket money" without the IRS salivating over it. Now they spend more than they take in, so....

[Polka Tots]

Thanks for the responses. And to answer the first response, the opinion of my mother doesn’t really matter, but she is my best friend and I confide in her in her. So out of excitement, I talk to her about the business. Of course, I do tell her to leave to leave the subject alone. It is a reoccurring response with her. So, I wanted to see if any seasoned providers had any feedback I could give her on why her idea isn’t plausible.

[SandBox]

You could tell her the risk of getting caught doing under table jobs isn’t worth it. One pissed off client and they can report you to IRS. Maybe do it anyway, but it’s a legit reason not to do it. She may leave it alone when she realizes the risk it causes you.

[SandBox]

I meant for that to say “Many do it anyway…” not “Maybe do it anyway…” lol

[Polka Tots]

I really appreciate you taking the time to respond. ❤️ Thank you!

[Blackcat31]

I would probably just gloss over her comments and continue on my own path with running my business the way I want to but I would honestly be tempted to ask your mom why she thinks you should do anything "under the table" and why it's a good idea. Maybe that will open the doors to a conversation about how things have changed in recent years and "under the table" business dealings are dealt with in a more severe manner than in her day and although it would nice if we could all sidestep the IRS, doing so is just asking for bigger issues later.