I'm Tired. Anyone Else Tired?

[Sahm121]

ONLY if you allow it to be.
Being human is emotional but the job doesn’t “have” to be.
Like MissCait said I detach.

Agree, but I also want to add that being emotional Is what inspires me and motivates me to do what I do. It’s what makes me me, so I wouldn’t change that you know? It would make this job and life in general way easier 😂

[Momboss]

Im most tired of the disrespect and lack of common sense when it comes to payment. Does your boss pay you a week late when they are sick or on vacation? No. So why do you feel like you can? Just because im a childcare provider doesnt mean im supposed to have more empathy and understanding than any of your utility bills or mortgage company. I dont do this for fun, i do this so im not homeless like everyone else. You wouldnt want me to do this job for fun, because if that was the case and money wasnt a factor, you sure wouldnt be a family i would put up with! Id be super strict about who is enrolled.

[Momboss]

I agree to an extent. When the parent gives their kids junk at home, i end up changing the explosive diapers or get blamed for the diaper rash from the absurd amounts of kiwi the parent gives to their toddler lol. Some parenting decisions make my job more annoying. But not quite enough to term over it. But i feel like most people dont love their jobs and have something to compain about, so i just decide to remember the pros vs the cons.

[Momboss]

Omg im so sorry! This is why i try to make sure the other families don’t communicate with each other. I dont take friends or family of current parents. Ive thought about doing a facebook page for the parents or even having a get together with all the families, but i change my mind because i rather them not be friends with each other. Might sound weird but i can think of a million ways it could backfire on me lol

[GirlMomma]

I’m glad you termed that family!

[Blackcat31]

…but it's also an emotional job.?

ONLY if you allow it to be.
Being human is emotional but the job doesn’t “have” to be.
Like MissCait said I detach.

[e.j.]

My jaw dropped when I read the first text from your dc parent. I didn't think it could drop any more than it already had until I read the second text. OMG! How oblivious and obtuse can any one person be?! Wow!

[SandBox]

Not all of my families have been the non parenting types. I’ve dealt with some real doozies, but there have been some normal ones too. A few that had to work, but would have loved to been home. And then some that liked to work, but loved their children dearly and any day off they were with them. They really worked hard not to keep their kids in care for too long. That has been my experience though. Everyone has their own experiences.

I feel like my main experiences have been dealing with people with severe unchecked mental health issues. I can’t arm chair diagnose people, but I’ve come across some interesting people. They were fairly open to me about their mental struggles and needing to be on medicine and tell me they were getting on it, but then would never do it. And I tried my best to separate it, but they always brought their drama into my home.

OP I truly hope you figure it out and get through this because you deserve happiness in what you do every day just as much as anyone else.

[SandBox]

Sahm121

Ugh. So awful. I am so sorry you all went through that. Before I read your full story, I was nodding my head to you saying that they will always look out for themselves first. Because it’s true. And because of that, why should I put any emotions into this? Why should I care? I don’t. I have to do my job right even when no one is looking. That’s my duty. I can’t expect these selfish people to appreciate that. I don’t need them to. And I am at total peace that they don’t. I am at total peace that I need nothing from them but payment for my services.

[TwinMama]

I was on vacation last week and when my dck 's came back this week the parents acted like they'd performed some kinda grand miracle by having to be with their kids while I was gone. Ridiculous.
I have an over 3 year old dcg that still has a pacifier at home, still poops her pull up daily and sleeps in a crib... I want to bitch slap her parents. They treat her like an infant.
I could go on.....and on..

I am tired but more physically tired because I foster orphaned neonatal kittens and just got a litter of 6 that require round the clock care. I would do this for a living if I could tho and quit daycare forever.

Yes!!!!!!!! All of this! Preach!

Parents don't know what their children are capable of. They want to either keep them babies or they're lazy. I have a 4 year old that Mom didn't know could put on her own velcro shoes!!! Velcro!!

It's easy to say "Just term them", but I'd literally have to term all of them. They can't handle their own children.

[Sahm121]

I actually don't fully agree.

This is a business, but it's also an emotional job.

If a parent gives their child Tylenol and brings them to my house and I have to call them because it wore off and they brought a sick kid here that's disrespectful. They don't have to be parent of the year, but they do have to respect me. Lowering my expectations also changes my values.

However, if they're telling me they fed their kid fruit snacks for breakfast I can just roll my eyes and disregard that and go about my day.

I’ve struggled a lot since covid started and I’ve come to the realization that although this is a very emotional career, parents will ALWAYS do what’s best for them, so I am starting to do the same.

One example is I had a Dcf on their 2nd week when we had to shut down for covid and I still charged them like my policy said even though part of me thought that I should cut them
a break. Then I am closing next Friday (unpaid) and when families complain I just smile and say I need the time off to do training (jokes on them. Next year it’ll be paid days).

when covid started a Dcf gave us all covid. I had to close for 3 weeks. My DH was hospitalized and we didn’t know if he’d make it and I was in really bad shape (covid long hauler). The family that gave us covid texted me that they needed to on know when I’d reopen or they’d be forced to go to a new daycare. That text hit me so hard. It was the middle of a snow storm and I grabbed my jacket and went outside, unable to breathe (covid kills your lungs) and just collapsed in my backyard in full hysterics: I didn’t have the energy to get to the garage (we had over a foot and a half of snow) but I didn’t want my kids to see me. The hospital had called that day to prepare me that IF my husband came home, he’d come home with oxygen but to line up support because they didn’t know what was going to happen. I had an app that I posted and updated the parents every few days. Due to guidelines I had to be closed (this was pre vaccines), plus I felt like I was dying… they KNEW my DH was really Ill. They KNEW i couldn’t reopen (we were on day 6/7 at this point so at that time it was mandatory 14 days). They KNEW the hospital had said to basically pray because if he didn’t stop him from getting worse he wouldn’t survive. Yet they still texted me that . I cried and texted them back that I didn’t think I was the right daycare for them anymore and that id refund any unused days and mail their things. They didn’t reply. My DH fully recovered and I reopened on day 21 with the support of my assistant. That dcf texts askin what im
going to do to prevent any further closures. Mind you THEY gave us all covid. So I replied that there must’ve been a misunderstanding but they had care terminated after that texts… they reached out to the other daycare families and I lost 3 other families in a matter of a week. God only knows what they told them… I went down to 3 kids which wasn’t even enough to afford my assistant!

anytime I feel myself get emotional or think that I should do MORE for a family, I think of them and remind myself that families think of me as just a business…

that being said, I still do extras for families that are appreciative , but more often than not, it becomes an expectation and the second I can’t anymore , they’re unhappy and start seeing me again as a business.

so I remind myself I survived losing most of my daycare and rebuilt …. Anyone starts off on the wrong foot; I stop them and talk to them. If it doesn’t get better or I know I can’t get over something, then they go. I’d rather be broke than disrespected

good luck. It’s so tough!

[SandBox]

My response is how I have learned to cope with something I have to do. I don't want to spend my days in their drama. Letting their toxic parenting effect me. If I can't keep a solid wall up and it be peaceful mostly, then they aren't for me and I am not for them. Just my thought process. I definitely get along so much better with families that parent more like me and want to be with their children. I know the families that aren't like that are really annoying. If I cant change it, i just push through it and complain to those closest to me. But not for too long. The complaining gets tiring too.

It is a tough job. Everyone will answer this differently. I honestly would never tell anyone to do this job. Haha.

[SandBox]

TwinMama

If a parent dosed and dropped off, thats breaking one of my policies. That isn't an emotiomal issue to me. They can be termimated for that.

Of course it is emotional at times, but your policies and power to terminate can help protect you from being ran into the ground.

[TwinMama]

I actually don't fully agree.

This is a business, but it's also an emotional job.

If a parent gives their child Tylenol and brings them to my house and I have to call them because it wore off and they brought a sick kid here that's disrespectful. They don't have to be parent of the year, but they do have to respect me. Lowering my expectations also changes my values.

However, if they're telling me they fed their kid fruit snacks for breakfast I can just roll my eyes and disregard that and go about my day.

[TwinMama]

I actually don't fully agree.

This is a business, but it's also an emotional job.

If a parent gives their child Tylenol and brings them to my house and I have to call them because it wore off and they brought a sick kid here that's disrespectful. They don't have to be parent of the year, but they do have to respect me. Lowering my expectations also changes my values.

However, if they're telling me they fed their kid fruit snacks for breakfast I can just roll my eyes and disregard that and go about my day.