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Advice On Leaving Home Daycare Job

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  • Advice On Leaving Home Daycare Job

    Hi! I joined this forum today just to make this post because I feel like I’m losing it. I really need the advice of more experienced providers! I’ve been working for 2 months at a home daycare that I thought was great at first. A few things have started making me uncomfortable. Sorry for the wall of text...
    1. The way my boss/the owner gives preferential treatment to her own 2 girls (2 and 5 yrs). My boss prepares meals for all 10 children but her girls typically eat different (nicer) food at mealtimes, in front of the other children. They don’t have allergies/dietary restrictions. I have heard my boss encouraging her older girl to “show (my name) how things are done here since she’s new” more than once, which has led to this child trying to boss me around and honestly just behaving in a really disruptive way (encouraging other kids to try to trick me by lying about the schedule, etc). Sometimes when I ask my boss where something is, clarification on a certain activity, etc, she directs me to ask her older daughter to tell me how it works and that kind of rubs me the wrong way. She will also come get her kids in the middle of the day while everyone is playing together, usually announcing that they are going to do their own activity upstairs (their apartment) or go for a special errand, which upsets the other kids sometimes.
    2. For context on this next one, I am a gay woman of color. When I began working for my boss I felt weirdly tokenized/othered because she made a point of mentioning that all of her enrolled families were heterosexual and white, even though I didn’t ask or bring it up. She said “That just isn’t my fault, though,” which I did not imply at all... and went on to say that it would be great for the children to be “exposed” to someone like me.
    3. The incident that has made me start applying for other jobs happened last week. I was opening and arrived early, prepared breakfast, then greeted the first child to be dropped off. Later my boss asked how the morning went and I told her I arrived 10 minutes early, though I wasn’t 100% sure, just estimating based on what I’d gotten done before the first drop off. A few days later she confronted me, saying “I caught you lying,” because she checked the time I punched my key code into the building’s entrance and I was actually about 5, not 10, minutes early. She said “You don’t have to make up stories to make yourself look better,” “I really want to be able to trust you,” and also implied I was trying to pad my hours. (By 10 minutes?!) When I tried to explain that absolutely wasn’t my intention she just shrugged and said “Maybe I made the wrong assumption.” This whole conversation made me really, really uncomfortable.
    I already have interviews lined up for positions I feel more excited about. I don’t like the way my current boss makes me feel, but I am also a sensitive person and wonder if I’m just overreacting. I’d also feel bad leaving this job because I know that my one coworker is also interviewing for new positions, he told me this in confidence and asked me not to tell our boss. Plus, I told her I would be able to commit to a year when I started.

    What would you do?

  • #2
    I would definitely be looking to work elsewhere! This sounds like a toxic environment. Sorry you’re being treated that way. Is it an option to open your own in-home daycare program?

    Comment


    • exposedbrick
      exposedbrick commented
      Editing a comment
      Thanks for responding!! Unfortunately I’m kind of young/inexperienced to open my own program, plus don’t have a space. Luckily I’m about to start the Montessori training I’ve been wanting to do for a while, so I’m hoping to be at a Montessori school sometime soon

    • Rockgirl
      Rockgirl commented
      Editing a comment
      I hope an opportunity opens up for you! Welcome to the forum. 😀

  • #3
    Hello! Welcome, I am sorry about your current boss and her KIDS! I worked at a center years ago and the director had her grandchildren there. She always treated better, it was obvious to the other kids. I would leave too if I was in your situation.

    Could you open your own home daycare? You can be your own boss!!

    Comment


    • #4
      I’m sorry you had to go through this! Definitely look for employment elsewhere - or even start your own daycare 🙌🏽

      Comment


      • #5
        "What would you do?" - In your situation I would place an ad to provide childcare in their home. Many people are in need of care for school agers since school just let out and it would give you time to build references and do a few interviews while still earning an income. Next, I'd be working on getting a space. You only need 36 square foot per child and most states allow a certain number of kids before requiring a license. We can help you with the experience part, that is pretty easy. Some of us can even help with supplies as we tend to have an overflow. Let us help. Where do you want to start?
        Last edited by Cat Herder; 3 weeks ago.

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        • #6
          I would definitely look for another job without remorse....and I would not mention my sexual preference in future job interviews
          Good luck

          Comment


          • exposedbrick
            exposedbrick commented
            Editing a comment
            For what it’s worth, I didn’t bring it up myself, I just had mentioned my wife in conversation.

        • #7
          wow, sounds like my first job! I ended up leaving for similar reasons! You never let a child be in charge of an adult, that leads to issues in the future.

          Comment


          • #8
            Christy Sewell

            Comment


            • #9
              Wow, She sounds like a winner. :/ There are too many issues with this particular scenario/employer to even begin commenting on.

              Good luck on finding another job as quickly as possible!

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