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Hi! I joined this forum today just to make this post because I feel like I’m losing it. I really need the advice of more experienced providers! I’ve been working for 2 months at a home daycare that I thought was great at first. A few things have started making me uncomfortable. Sorry for the wall of text...
What would you do?
- The way my boss/the owner gives preferential treatment to her own 2 girls (2 and 5 yrs). My boss prepares meals for all 10 children but her girls typically eat different (nicer) food at mealtimes, in front of the other children. They don’t have allergies/dietary restrictions. I have heard my boss encouraging her older girl to “show (my name) how things are done here since she’s new” more than once, which has led to this child trying to boss me around and honestly just behaving in a really disruptive way (encouraging other kids to try to trick me by lying about the schedule, etc). Sometimes when I ask my boss where something is, clarification on a certain activity, etc, she directs me to ask her older daughter to tell me how it works and that kind of rubs me the wrong way. She will also come get her kids in the middle of the day while everyone is playing together, usually announcing that they are going to do their own activity upstairs (their apartment) or go for a special errand, which upsets the other kids sometimes.
- For context on this next one, I am a gay woman of color. When I began working for my boss I felt weirdly tokenized/othered because she made a point of mentioning that all of her enrolled families were heterosexual and white, even though I didn’t ask or bring it up. She said “That just isn’t my fault, though,” which I did not imply at all... and went on to say that it would be great for the children to be “exposed” to someone like me.
- The incident that has made me start applying for other jobs happened last week. I was opening and arrived early, prepared breakfast, then greeted the first child to be dropped off. Later my boss asked how the morning went and I told her I arrived 10 minutes early, though I wasn’t 100% sure, just estimating based on what I’d gotten done before the first drop off. A few days later she confronted me, saying “I caught you lying,” because she checked the time I punched my key code into the building’s entrance and I was actually about 5, not 10, minutes early. She said “You don’t have to make up stories to make yourself look better,” “I really want to be able to trust you,” and also implied I was trying to pad my hours. (By 10 minutes?!) When I tried to explain that absolutely wasn’t my intention she just shrugged and said “Maybe I made the wrong assumption.” This whole conversation made me really, really uncomfortable.
What would you do?
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