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I totally understand this but at the same time, if I did this, I would have every parent constantly texting, emailing and calling me and setting up appointments to talk about every little thing. It would become ridiculous. I do interrupt parents if I need to speak to the children and I do my best to put the children first when parents are here. If I tried to only talk to parents when children aren’t here then I would really never have any time off because they’d just talk my ear off after hours with no littles to interrupt and id have no excuse to cut them off 🤣 usually after the conversation starts to shift to chit chat I look at my watch and say “oh I think everyone’s probably about ready for breakfast” and I have a couple of kids that sprint for the kitchen as soon as they hear the word breakfast or eat so that usually gets them to leave lol -
BaileeB do we have the same DCM?? 😂 My PITA DCM that I quit responding to after hours, questions every policy, etc use to do the same crap. I would get gifts and compliments, even my DD would, too. When I started enforcing my policies on her, she stopped being so “nice” AKA manipulative. Now I get respect! If she doesn’t leave, she’ll treat you like this for quite awhile. Very distant and cold. Until see needs another favor 😂
My PITA DCM is expecting. I don’t take infants, she knows this. She asked me if I’d take her infant - after being cold and distant towards me for like six months. I said no. A few weeks ago, a provider opened up in the area that enrolls infants. I posted the new providers info on my website for families to share with other parents. PITA DCM asked about the new provider… fingers crossed 😅 -
Good for you BaileeB It feels good to stand up for yourself! Also, who cares if she is irritated with you. If she is it's because you didn't cave to her demands. Sounds like childish behavior to me. Let her pout and/or be short with you...it's her problem not yours. If she is truly unhappy with your program she will move along. If she does, it sounds like you won't mind and if she stays, she will now know you aren't going to be giving into her pleas for "special treatment". You did a great job and it's a nice way to end the week!! -
This is one of my biggest regrets as a parent. I was so focused on making a good impression and appearing interested in my kids programs that I spent that time talking to the other adults instead of focusing on my kids and how they felt about them. I relegated them to "silence while the grown-ups were talking" at their own events. I am so ashamed of it, now. -
I just tell them that drop-off and pick-up times are about their child, not them. Their focus should be on saying good-bye or hello to their child.
Adult issues require text, email or scheduling a conference. I will not discuss adult matter in front of children. I am at work, and my work is child care.
Parent: "Oh, I wanted to ask you...."
Me: Interrupting: "We need to get to the playroom, now. Just shoot me an email. Bye Mom! Have a great day! Come on ____ we are going to ____ this morning before breakfast."
This about setting the tone for the child's day, and the parent's relationship with them into adulthood.
The child is the most important person on the porch, not the adults. The child is not invisible or irrelevant, therefore should not be treated that way by their parent. Parents need to see their child as a whole person, not an extension of themselves. This is important, lifelong, stuff. It starts in daycare.Last edited by Cat Herder; 09-16-2022, 06:14 AM. -
GirlMomma Thank you! I am proud of myself! She did not even step inside the playroom today or look at me at drop off. She seemed very irritated but she didn’t say anything other than “I’ll be picking up right at 3 today because….. we have…. An appointment.” I am hoping it’s to tour a new daycare 🤣 that would make my life a lot easier! -
GirlMomma She does not seem to have a problem with face to face confrontation because she asked me to waive my fees in person. She is an overly arrogant type of person. My mother had to come during an emergency a few weeks back and stay with the kids until parents came. When DCM came to pick up my mom said she instantly did not like her and she did not even know who’s mom she was yet. I think she is trying to catch me off guard to talk about it to see if she can get me to make an exception. She is a manipulative person and she’s testing me to see how far she can push. When she started she kept complimenting me and my home and being so nice and she seemed like a totally different person than how she is every day at drop off and pick up. She is not shy at all. The more I think about the more it upsets me actually lol I was tricked 😂 -
BaileeB I am so proud of you for sending that!! You did a great job. Stand firm today!!!!!
I’ve found that the more prepared I am to answer their questions, the easier I can say no and state why. Also, someone has suggested in the past to simply repeat yourself. If she questions it, just say the same thing you said in the email. Verbatim. It has worked for me! -
Yeah, I have decided that she is becoming too comfortable just texting me all of the time. She has the ability to schedule a time to talk. She could talk at pickup literally any day. She always rushes out of here then texts me later. Scheduling a time does not mean asking at 7:30pm to call right then. Does she honestly believe that my life revolves around her and DCG? 🙄 -
I don’t have a policy…Originally posted by BaileeB View Post
However, my biggest PITA DCM has stopped texting me outside of hours. How? I simply stopped responding after hours and began replying at 7:31 AM the next business day.
I once had another DCM that text me around 10 or so at night on a Thursday about bringing her DCG back on Friday. DCK had been out with an unknown rash since Tuesday that hadn’t gone away/been looked at by a medical professional. I didn’t respond until 7:31 AM on Friday. I told her since it hadn’t been looked at by a doctor and the rash was still present, she couldn’t return. No response. She withdrew her daughter the following Monday because my “policies are a bit much” and she “needed more flexibility” because she “couldn’t take off work for every little thing.” Sound familiar? LOL I wasn’t even mad.
But anyways, just don’t respond anymore until you’re open again… unless of course it’s a TRUE emergency. If a parent can find it in your handbook, it’s not an emergency.Leave a comment:
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Okay I was doing invoicing for tomorrow and remembered that DCM asked me when she started here if I could include specific information in the invoices so that she can submit it to her work or something because she gets reimbursed. I don’t know if it’s one of those dependent care accounts or something but now I am just mad. I know her husband has a good job, she is employed and they live in a brand new house and drive nice cars. But she is trying to play the poor me card and avoid my policies and ask me to make exceptions and take money from me and my family. That makes me MAD. I was talking to DH and I was like I don’t know why I have such a hard time with her. He said “because she’s a manipulator.” And he’s exactly right. I need to figure out how to term. I can not deal with it anymore.Leave a comment:
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If a parent texts me after hours I respond with: “Auto Reply: Daycare is currently closed. I am spending time with my family, please text or call again during business hours.”
If they text again I simply ignore.
The next day I address it by saying that drop off/pick up does not allow time to talk so any issues a parent has requires them to set up a time that works for both of us to talk/email back and forth.
So basically your DCM needs to make an appointment with you to discuss this topic and she needs to understand that you will email/reply when you have time NOT when she wants you to… kwim? You work long hours and without a break….anything a parent needs to discuss in regards to policies does not qualify as an emergency so they need to have some patience and understanding in this regard.
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