Non Daycare Related..Sexual Harrassment

[Decadense]

Hello everyone. I hope everyone is having a good day. I am writing here to ask everyone if they think a customer coming into a store that I work at and just coming up to me while I am straightening up shelves and rubbing the whole length of my back considered sexual harassment and if you feel it is what would you do about it?. Thank you so much in advance fir your suggestions and responses..I just needed to add that it made me very uncomfortable. I spoke to the manager about it and he said "eh, it happens all the time.".. I feel very anxious about going into work at the store after this incident occurred

[SandBox]

I am really sorry that happened to you.

You felt uncomfortable with that touch and your feelings are valid. No one you don’t know should be touching you like that. Even some you do know shouldn’t be touching you like that. That’s pretty much something I’d expect from my husband and that’s about it. Do you have that customers information? Are you looking to report it?

[Decadense]

I do not have his information and I told the manager that if it happens again that I will be reporting it. This customer has asked me several times for phone number and dates. I have made it very clear that I am not interested. I am.nervous that this is going to be a continuous problem. And have become nervous to leave the store at night. This customer has been coming in almost every night about an hour before closing.

[SandBox]

Decadense

Yea with this new information, definitely a form of harassment in my opinion. You’ve told this person you aren’t interested and they keep trying. Now they are touching you. Unacceptable.

I had a similar experience when I was 17 working retail. He would come into my job and talk to me and get really close. Then I started getting anonymous love letters on and flowers on my car. Then I started seeing him every where I went on my lunch breaks. He was following me. Then he started to come into the store and let it be known it was him leaving me those letters and flowers but got aggressive with me because I didn’t know it was him. I could tell in his head he has this whole delusion worked up about me and him. Long story short, I also had managers that shrugged me off. I called the cops though and they came to my work and filed a report. Told them everything, but didn’t know his name. Well becuase he was stalking me, he saw the cops. Left me one last goodbye love letter and mentioned the cops and I never saw him again.

So, yea don’t wait. It escalates. He’s testing you. I’d call the non emergency line and tell them you’d like to make a report of someone at your job harassing you. That you’re scared it’s going to escalate since they won’t leave you alone and are now touching you. I don’t know what they will do or don’t do, but it won’t hurt to document this. This guy is out of line and he has issues. And I’d be scared to be closing by myself too and walking out at night.

[Decadense]

I have never experienced anything like this before at the workplace. I was shocked , angry and scared all at the same time. When the manager reacted the way he did, I was dumb founded and in disbelief. I don't know. This is just a part time job in the evening that I have only been doing for a couple months

[Decadense]

Sorry for rambling

[SandBox]

Doesn’t surprise me your male manager is shrugging this off too. Try to get his license plate and vehicle he drives too.

[Decadense]

I will definitely do that. Thank you so much

[Decadense]

@MissCait..I am so sorry that happened to you. That is some pretty scary stuff. What happened to you is the stuff I have been thinking about ever since he did that. This is a scary world sometimes and you just never know. I am glad that he finally left you alone and that you are safe. I had to call my fiance to come to the store 15 minutes before closing to walk me out and follow me home.

[SandBox]

It is scary. Especially when it keeps escalating. This man obviously has no regard for a woman telling him no and pushes boundaries. That’s dangerous behavior. I don’t know if the cops will do anything or not. If they do nothing and you feel alone, I’d quit. Not worth your life.

[e.j.]

I would definitely consider what you've described to be sexual harassment. Your manager is wrong. This kind of thing does happen, but it does not happen all the time and when it does, it needs to be stopped. Sounds as though he could stand to attend a mandatory workshop on the subject. I worked many years in retail - from my mid-teens to mid-twenties and while certain customers would come in to flirt or ask me out, they never touched me. That's not something you should have to put up with ever, but especially not when you're on the job.

I'm not sure I'd wait to report it. At the very least, I might call the police to explain what's happening and ask for their advice. If possible, I'd have a co-worker walk with you to your car at closing for the time being.

[GirlMomma]

I’m so sorry you’re experiencing this! Definitely report and have someone you trust walk with you to your car.

Do you have a firearm and have you had any firearm training? My 70-somethin-year-old Granny paid for firearm training her daughters, me, my sister and my female cousin. She wanted us to be safe. I got my CCW and DH picked out a small firearm.

[Decadense]

I do not have

[Blackcat31]

Pepper spray and a screeching alarm button would help as well!

Im sorry you are dealing with this

[Michael]

You should straight up tell him he is making you uncomfortable and that you will call the police if he touches you again. Be blunt and direct. This guy needs to hit a wall with you. He’s interpreting inaction as acceptance.

[Decadense]

I agree. He scares the h*ll out of me