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  • e.j.
    replied
    I've just skimmed through some of the replies so I'm not sure if anyone has suggested this but Lexie, instead of directly asking this dcm if she's pregnant or waiting until she tells you the big news, could you just ask all of your dc parents if they know what their plans are for the spring? Explain that while you realize it's far enough in the future that things may change between now and then, but that potential clients have expressed interest in your program. While you hope everyone is planning to stay, you also don't want to turn away potential clients if there are any current families who might be thinking about leaving around that time. She may still not say anything but it's worth a shot. I've done something similar when I thought someone here might be leaving - teacher's kids in the summer, 3 years olds who are possibly heading off to preschool, etc... It could give you the information you're looking for without having to mention you've heard she's pregnant.
    Last edited by e.j.; 10-28-2022, 08:12 PM.

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  • GirlMomma
    commented on 's reply
    Lexie489 my DCM is about 32ish weeks pregnant. I have no idea what her plans are. She’s mentioned staying home until the newborn ages into my program, keeping the child with me, or going somewhere all together. I’m giving her my FMLA info next week. So I’ll have an idea within the next two weeks what they decide.
    Last edited by GirlMomma; 10-28-2022, 04:36 PM.

  • JaeB
    commented on 's reply
    Blackcat31 yeah my state is horrible they even gave the parents co-pays as far as POC and then said that they'll pay them but then on our statements that we get there's no indication that we were even paid their co-pays so it's kind of like we don't know what they're giving us for watching our kids we only get it once a month, and because they are actual clients of POC and not of ours we are not allowed to talk about their case with POC either so we're damned if we do damage if we don't but you are definitely to go to on this thread specifically because you've been in the business for so long so I definitely take heed to what you're saying and try to apply it to my methods as well so for that I thank you

  • Rockgirl
    commented on 's reply
    Lexie489, are you fb friends with the mom? In that case, you could bring it up and ask if she has made plans. If not, I think you’re stuck waiting for her to tell you, since she’s not actually breaking any policies.

  • Blackcat31
    commented on 's reply
    Sounds like your state doesn’t support provers very well. I’m sorry they don’t. So far my state has pretty much been very supportive of both providers and of parents. Makes it much easier when both sides are equally represented and supported.

    I have a B.S in Early Childhood Education Birth to Gr 3. I am a 4 Star program (max star level for my state’s QRIS) and am close to completing my Montessori teaching certification. I have run the gamut between providing only "care" services or only "educational" services but have found a happy medium between the two. We do play all day. The kids learn everything they need to know for school readiness through play. I do not offer structured seat time or adult led/made craft activities.

    But I will not perform things I believe are a parent responsibility; such as fixing a child’s hair or bathing them. I also don’t care if either parents or the kids call me a babysitter, a teacher or the lady that takes care of the kids… lol! As long as I’m paid on time and parents follow the policies they agreed to follow when they enrolled I am good. 🙂

  • Lexie489
    commented on 's reply
    Based on her posts, she is past the halfway mark.

  • Lexie489
    commented on 's reply
    Thank you for your response

    To clarify, I was being a bit facetious when I said I would term if I knew mom was pulling the child. If she gives me a month's notice, I'll exercise my right to do the same. I hoped the contrast would illustrate how keeping this a secret is poor form.

    In reality, I have always seen clients to their final day- no matter what! I also tell clients in interviews this, that their last day is guaranteed. I also ask that they consider four weeks to be the minimum, and to let me know of any potential changes asap. Again, I stress they will have their last day guaranteed, It is merely for business planning purposes.

  • GirlMomma
    replied
    Another side to this that no one has mentioned - perhaps she is so early in her pregnancy, they haven’t decided what they’re going to do yet…? She just announced it in September, right? That’s fairly early, IMO. They probably don’t want to waste your time by telling you three different plans? This has happened to me before - it was more annoying than not knowing entirely… trust me! 😂 I’d rather they figure it out and tell me they’re pregnant with their plan following.

    I wouldn’t term a family for being pregnant. I had one bad term and shoo wee you do not want that blow back! I have an entire thread about. I don’t regret doing it, but I regret doing it out of anger to basically “beat” mom to it. KWIM?

    I understand you wanting to know, but if she’s not even showing yet (or showing enough to comment on it) it sounds like you have plenty of time to fill the spot. That’s if she even chooses to go.

    I see the side of parents not telling the provider and leaving the provider’s program entirely - without payment. I am in an area known for people not paying their bills as well. I solved that by taking a non-refundable deposit prior to their start date that can be applied to the last two weeks of childcare.

    Truthfully, my FMLA policy is a subtle way to get the answers I am wanting. I’d be happy to send it to you in a private message.
    Last edited by GirlMomma; 10-28-2022, 09:54 AM.

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  • JaeB
    commented on 's reply
    The two weeks notice for private pay is also stated in my handbook but we also because I received government pay they're only allowed to give five days notice in which they never do and then there's no consequences for them leaving without the 5-day notice and then they get approved to go to another daycare no sooner than they go and give POC the new daycares site number. The state I'm in is just a mess all together but I realize that the state I'm in is for families for children with multiple children and for people who need extra extra help to get on their feet unless they're working and have a method to their own madness lol

  • JaeB
    replied
    Blackcat31 I understand your take on providers not having things both ways but where I'm from providers have minimum ways that we are allowed to deal with things and the parents are the ones who are very much taken care of ,very much coddled, and very much entitled, that's just what the dynamic is in my area because what I won't do with other grown people is treat them like the children that they want me to watch you are grown just like I'm grown and if you don't know how to be grown then you and your children can stay at home and be children together. Unlike a lot of the ladies on this thread I'm not a babysitter if I wanted to be a babysitter I would offer my services to one family and but I went to school to learn how to educate these children help them with their social and emotional skills , observe psychological mental and physical traits so that I can either build off of them or point them in the right direction for resources we do not just play all day, my babies have to learn something because in our area education is the least that people worry about hence why a lot of the children in my area are on IEPs, taking medicine for behavior, or just don't have the skills to be socially, psychologically, or mentally prepared to be around other children or in different places and thrive. Where I'm from when children are in daycare this may be their only meal they get for the day, these may be the only hugs and kisses they get for the day , these may be the only places where Mom and Dad can meet up and be cordial with each other, these may be the only places where they get their teeth brushed ,ears cleaned ,hair combed, so yeah my take on child care and the skills are possessed go beyond just playing. But I also know how to pick my battles some things I just don't worry about some things I just don't harp on and of course some things just aren't my business but when I keep thinking about the shoulda would have could have or the what if then it's time for me to ask questions and it's time for me to be informed

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  • JaeB
    commented on 's reply
    Blackcat 31, I'm allowed six kids by way of the rules for the providers in the city even though I am licensed as a large daycare which also include nine after school kids but because my learning room is smaller they only allow me the six. Now I've only had six kids one time the whole 8 years I've been open and ever since it has only been between 1:00 to 4 kids. now what saves me a lot of money is I am single with no children so that cuts out a lot of expenses that other people would normally have when they have children have to feed ,those children have to clothed, and etc etc but me and enrolling six children is now not the problem I am in the inner City and a part of the POC program so both of those together and separately opens up a whole another can of worms. all of my clients have been women under 30 who can't keep a job who have multiple children no fathers around and no real method as to how they take care of their kids. So because I've had parents cut out on me parents take their kids out because they don't like my policies me terming parents for disregarding my policies ,making their own rules, being late ,no payments, or paying when they want to my intake process is a bit more restrictive than others. I get the bulk of my bill money from purchase a care and then the private pay families take care of supplies and food. Not as far as the pregnancy thing goes the mother being pregnant doesn't sway me one way or the other but I don't like revolving doors and I don't allow families to pick me just because I'm close to them, or because the last daycare didn't do what they wanted to, or they just need a place for them to go because they're getting on their nerves parents have to have a plan for their life just like I have a plan for Mom hey you can get pregnant every year if you want to but I'm not pregnant with you and I need to know what's going on so I can move accordingly if I wait until every parent decides what they want to do I will be on their time doing what they want to do so I think it would be sweet of The Mamas if they tell me they're pregnant for one I can celebrate with them for two I can get their children ready for when the sibling comes and three I may share with you some of the highlights of my life as well I always say I cannot watch people's children if I cannot connect with their parents how are you going to trust me with your child if we don't connect enough to where you won't even let me know you're pregnant? I have a one-year-old who will be two in December she's been with me for a year her mom is just newly pregnant she scared and confused and doesn't know what to do but because she knows she can confide in me she actually asked me to go with her to get an abortion and be her support person I was flattered that she thought of me that way and trust me with knowing her situation but I was at a loss for words for a couple of days but then I put my mama pants on and let her know about my situation that I went through . had she not confided in me she would have went through this alone and possibly made the wrong decision which a lot of the females in my community don't have therefore they're running around like crazy ladies doing anything and everything to ease their pain. But I do get what you're saying black cat it's actually none of our business until it is our business but my thing is when they decide to make it our business will it be too late?

  • Springvalley
    replied
    We have a policy that if at anytime for any reason whatsoever either the center or the parent wants to terminate care that we must be given a two week notice regardless of circumstance. If a parent calls and asks if we have room for a child we immediately put them on our wait-list until a spot opens up.

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  • Annalee
    replied
    Originally posted by Blackcat31 View Post

    I understand. You said earlier though that if this parent was honest and said they were planning on withdrawing their child from care once they have this second baby, you would terminate them then and fill their space with someone else. If that's the case, I understand why parents aren't always honest. It doesn't make it right but I understand why they wouldn't be so forthcoming.

    Having been in this business for as long as I have, I have learned that 99% of the time parents will do what works for them and I will do the same but I have managed to find a way to do what works for me so that I can protect myself from the fall out of parents doing what works for them. There are always kids needing care so I have built a pretty lengthy waitlist so if a parent blindsided me and said they were leaving (in 2 weeks, a month, immediately etc) I have a pool of families to draw from to fill that space.

    I also understand and am appreciative of the fact that my area allows me to have a lot more kids that your area allows so that benefits me financially which again impacts my perspective and how I would/wouldn't handle certain things.

    IF I were in your shoes, I would probably try and have a discussion with the mother about her plans for the future. I would share how her lack of being forthcoming would impact you/your budget etc and ask that she let you know as soon as she knows her plans so that you can continue to meet your financial obligations and eliminate unnecessary stress or worry from your business life. With a small group of clients, I can see how needing to have a more personal relationship would be beneficial to both parties.

    As for expecting humans to be honest..... you will save yourself a lot of stress if you don't assume others will act as morally and as ethically as you choose to.
    If you have those expectations, most times you will just be disappointed.


    I think one of the biggest make/break deals in this business is that no one ever explained how hard it would be to manage/deal with the adults we interact with.
    The kid stuff is tough, tiring and sometimes super stressful but dealing with parents is the worst!
    to the bolded comment....to you, Lexie489!

    Leave a comment:


  • Blackcat31
    replied
    Originally posted by Lexie489 View Post
    In my case, I am allowed five children. However, I can make my income requirement on three children. I keep my group small to give each child more attention- it just works for me. So, when I have a client leaving me in limbo, it creates stress on my end. Again, not the client's problem, I know. But, I don't want to take more kids that I "need" for income security purposes, not when it doesn't take much to be an honest human being on the client's part.
    I understand. You said earlier though that if this parent was honest and said they were planning on withdrawing their child from care once they have this second baby, you would terminate them then and fill their space with someone else. If that's the case, I understand why parents aren't always honest. It doesn't make it right but I understand why they wouldn't be so forthcoming.

    Having been in this business for as long as I have, I have learned that 99% of the time parents will do what works for them and I will do the same but I have managed to find a way to do what works for me so that I can protect myself from the fall out of parents doing what works for them. There are always kids needing care so I have built a pretty lengthy waitlist so if a parent blindsided me and said they were leaving (in 2 weeks, a month, immediately etc) I have a pool of families to draw from to fill that space.

    I also understand and am appreciative of the fact that my area allows me to have a lot more kids that your area allows so that benefits me financially which again impacts my perspective and how I would/wouldn't handle certain things.

    IF I were in your shoes, I would probably try and have a discussion with the mother about her plans for the future. I would share how her lack of being forthcoming would impact you/your budget etc and ask that she let you know as soon as she knows her plans so that you can continue to meet your financial obligations and eliminate unnecessary stress or worry from your business life. With a small group of clients, I can see how needing to have a more personal relationship would be beneficial to both parties.

    As for expecting humans to be honest..... you will save yourself a lot of stress if you don't assume others will act as morally and as ethically as you choose to.
    If you have those expectations, most times you will just be disappointed.

    I think one of the biggest make/break deals in this business is that no one ever explained how hard it would be to manage/deal with the adults we interact with.
    The kid stuff is tough, tiring and sometimes super stressful but dealing with parents is the worst!

    Leave a comment:


  • Lexie489
    commented on 's reply
    In my case, I am allowed five children. However, I can make my income requirement on three children. I keep my group small to give each child more attention- it just works for me. So, when I have a client leaving me in limbo, it creates stress on my end. Again, not the client's problem, I know. But, I don't want to take more kids that I "need" for income security purposes, not when it doesn't take much to be an honest human being on the client's part.
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