Vindictive Employee

[Springvalley]

What would you do about an employee that you work with?
Here's the backstory,
employee was working at a center and quit to come to our center because of some things that were going on at the other center. After a while, the other center contacted her to come back which she obliged to because of how bad our school agers were acting and how bad their attitudes were etc. Fast forward to now, employee came back to our center and everything was good at first but here lately things have gone bad and are getting worse. We all found out that her and another employee are in a clique and if something goes bad she tries to twist it around and instead of blaming herself, she blames whoever she can. A while ago, her, another employee (that use to be the administrator), the current administrator and the assistant administrator had a 'meeting' because she was upset because she had to watch this other teachers class while they were practicing songs for a program and she claimed that she had to do that quite often even though the teacher was standing right there with her kids doing something. Today, she came in madder then a wet hen because last week the librarian told me ( I usually walk with the kids to the library every Wednesday) to let this teacher know that we couldn't come this week because of some scheduling conflict which I had forgot to tell her about it and she was mad then she proceeded to tell me that if my memory is that bad then maybe I should stay at home. I was so mad & hurt I didn't know what to say. What would you do?? Not only did she say that but she got mad at me because according to her she feels like she constantly has to tell me to do the same thing over and over again...

[GirlMomma]

I’d report her behavior to the administrator

[Cat Herder]

Myself. I would have to take some time and reflect on the truth of what she was saying. Her truth. Her vent. Her frustration. My failure of duty.

I do have ADD, work too many hours in a noisy environment, wake too easily at night and have too many irons in the fire on most days, so could 100% see the validity of what she was saying. I'd apologize and ask to work out a system of daily notes, back and forth, in composition book, between staff, that stays on the classroom counter. That would help me better communicate before I forget and hopefully make my co-worker feel heard and respected. Maybe it will even help the other workers who come in and out of the room.

I have also spent many years purposefully reading self-help and organizational/study skills articles, too, though. I am always a work in progress. My communication skills leave a lot to be desired.

[Springvalley]

I've never been that disrespected by someone like that and I honestly didn't know how to take it and in her mind she thinks she owns the place!! She's an employee not a boss

[Cat Herder]

I am sorry she hurt your feelings. It doesn't feel good to be humiliated and feel verbally attacked at work.

Maybe you are focusing a little too much on job titles and too little on workplace culture and peer relations? Are you her boss? Or her peer? Do you want to work together? Or see her fired? What is your goal? Maybe then we can all help find a workable solution, together?

I came up professionally up in the fire/ems service, I have very tough skin and a rough vocabulary because of it. Desensitized. Maybe she is similar. Maybe she is just at the end of her rope after "1000 papercuts?" The hardest job I ever had was working in a daycare center with women. I'd rather hammer a nail through my eye than do that again, you really do have my sympathy. IMO, the next step is to decide if you want to keep doing it and find a workable solution.

[Pestle]

It sounds like your center has some behind-the-scenes gossip chains going on. Those can make us feel like we have authority on our side because we can say "See? Other people agree with me!"

The double-edged sword is that she's got the same thing going on and also feels justified.

And it also means that scrambled information gets circulated through unofficial channels. People think they have the measure of what's going on and then it turns out somebody else had a completely different idea of what was supposed to be happening.

It sounds like this person keeps trying out new jobs and finding reasons to be displeased with them. So you probably have a conflict of personality there. Just a fundamentally incompatible way that you want to work and that your coworker wants to work.

You're not going to be able to make her want to do things your way. Nor will you be able to make her enthusiastic about her job, if she has something inside of her that prevents her from committing. The best you can do is apply some of your childcare hacks to preventing conflict from arising in the first place, and redirecting when conflict does arise instead of allowing it to escalate.

[JaeB]

Well I believe she's a red flag either way because she is literally choosing her own employment by going back and forth between two centers which could be a problem in itself considering illnesses and a few other things that happening around can contribute to, secondly her reason is for leaving East center are the same reasons that she probably should not be around children. First you said that she left your center because of the kids being loud with attitudes which is typical of children these days to whatever reason she left the last center on top of constantly having to use the word mad when someone encounters her. And thirdly what is her interaction with the parents do the parents like her what is her interaction with the kids do the kids like her because if it's a no to everything including what I just mentioned it's up to the administrator owner director to see that she is not a good fit, to let her go, and to not allow her back

[Blackcat31]

Who knows what her perspective is but could it be she views your position lower than hers because she’s a paid employee and you are a volunteer?
Definitely not right but wondering what the root of her issue is

Either way I think you need to talk with your administration and find a solution that’s works for everyone. You don’t deserve to be treated badly on or off the clock

Cat Herder was very insightful with her advice/posts too

[Springvalley]

THANK YA'LL so much for your advice!! I love ya'll! The owners know nothing about what happened but the administrator does and was there when she came in yesterday madder then a wet hen & made the snide comment and she knows about her employment history regarding the whole back & forth between the two centers. I don't know what was said yesterday after i left but I went in this morning and everything was good. I apologized for yesterday but in my opinion she should've apologized & she didn't.