Should I Cut Ties?

[GirlMomma]

Here’s the update nobody asked for 😂

Without a formal action plan, the parents have done what they needed to do the last two days. I think sending him home the other day was a wake-up call. He’s going to bed early and waking up about 10.5-11 hours later, sometimes on his own. They are going to gradually wake him up earlier until he can handle arriving at 7:45 without an issue.

It’s. Been. So. Peaceful!!!!!!! I will get the occasional 22 month old fit when he’s redirected, I can work with that. I’ve noticed he’s eating better, he’s engaging more with his peers and he’s following me around less. He’ll still sneak a peek around the corner while I’m making lunch, but he’s not under my feet, screaming. LOL I believe that will get better/go away entirely once he’s more comfortable. At nap time, he’ll lay down on the cot and talk to himself for about 10-15 mins. I keep shh’ing him. It doesn’t seem to bother the others, they go right to sleep, so for now, it’s not a deal breaker. He’ll sleep for an hour and wake up. I shush him and he’ll go right back to sleep once he sees I’m still there. I assume/am hopeful once he’s more comfortable here, he’ll sleep thru nap altogether - I have seen this behavior before in other kids.

Hopefully the weekend doesn’t screw this up for me!!!

[Rockgirl]

So glad he’s doing better! Hope he continues to improve.

[GirlMomma]

Rockgirl thank you! Me too!! I think he could really thrive here.

[e.j.]

Hopefully the weekend doesn’t screw this up for me!!!

Update the parents, let them know what a huge change you're seeing in him already and definitely let them know you feel he can thrive with you if what you're seeing continues. Positive reinforcement works for adults, too. lol They need to hear that what they're doing at home really is making a difference. Remind them to keep up whatever they're doing over the weekend because you want to keep the momentum going.

[GirlMomma]

I’ve been praising them like I do my toddlers - trust me! 😂😂😂😂

[GirlMomma]

I think I know the answer but I want to make sure I am not making a swift decision.

Last week, DCB had two great days. They said we’re working with him to get him on a sleep routine and a morning routine. Friday was rough until he napped, then he was fine.

Yesterday, DCM came in and first thing said “It’s a Monday so I expect it to be rough,” already setting the tone for the day because she knew it wasn’t going to be a good day. He cried off and on for over 2 hours. Then he ate and went to sleep. Woke up just fine.

This morning DCM comes in and says he wouldn’t go to sleep at 8. He was still awake at 9. She let her husband put him down and she “doesn't know” what time he went to bed. How do you not communicate with your husband when your child goes to bed? I call bs.

So far, he hasn’t started his screaming crap… but he’s been here less than an hour and I’m within eyesight. If I have the same day today, I am ready to tell them when their last day. Is this fair?? Two days out of the last four weeks doesn’t seem like an improvement, IMO.

OR would you just send him home when he’s “having a rough day”? I’ve only sent him home once.

[GirlMomma]

Annalee thank you! 🥰

Blackcat31 today I told DCP I would be sending DCB home from now on, it’s what’s best for the group. I went thru the pros and cons like you did and came up with the same “worst” (best*) case scenarios you gave me. DCD said he was hoping for better news. So I followed up with all of the positives I see in the child… but let them know it was only after he napped! DCM didn’t seem surprised about my decision, she just said “he’s not a morning person but maybe it’ll be better tomorrow.” 🤷♀️ 🫠

I can only do so much and I feel like I’ve been more than fair and have had plenty of patience. From the sounds of it, I am the only provider that has been willing to find the problem and offer solutions. Now it’s up to them to solve it, IMO.

[Blackcat31]

GirlMomma and really that’s all you can do. It’s the parent’s responsibility to do the right thing. We should never have to do more than parents to fix an issue.
I will gladly help, support and assist but I won’t take on more stress or work than a parent to fix an issue that the parent almost always creates.

[GirlMomma]

Blackcat31 I couldn’t agree more!

[GirlMomma]

I can’t do this anymore. It’s week five and no progress has been made. Another parent came in today and said DCK didn’t want to come to school today … which has never happened with this kid.

How do I write a term letter?

[GirlMomma]

Annalee My jaw has been tense since he started. I dread him coming. Today, right after he arrived, I realized I could hardly move my neck. I’d been up and moving for 4 hours before he arrived and didn’t have an issue with it. I think next Friday will be their last day. I absolutely can’t do a full 2 weeks.

[e.j.]

Hopefully they'll pull immediately and not expect you to take him for the rest of the week. If not, at least you can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Good luck.

[GirlMomma]

e.j. that would be ideal 😅

[Alwaysgreener]

I can’t do this anymore. It’s week five and no progress has been made. Another parent came in today and said DCK didn’t want to come to school today … which has never happened with this kid.

How do I write a term letter?

Tom Copeland always recommended short and sweet for liability reasons.

[GirlMomma]

Thank you!

[Rockgirl]

You will feel a HUGE relief as soon as you give them the term letter! They already know the problem….I doubt they’ll be surprised.

Good luck!

[GirlMomma]

Thank you! I think we all will!

[Annalee]

Just checking on ya, GirlMomma! Hope you are feeling better

[GirlMomma]

Annalee I am giving it to them on Friday at the end of the day so they have time to process and let their emotions simmer down before Monday. Putting it into writing made it real… Printing it was a relief!

On one hand, I feel “guilty” because the kid would thrive here if his parents would just do what they need to do. When he started, he only said a handful of words and wouldn’t put them into sentences. Five weeks later, he’s putting 3-4 words together into sentences. It’s really a shame it won’t work out - but it’s on the parents.

[Rockgirl]

GirlMomma, I know that feeling! My last term was that way….I knew the best thing for the child was to be here. But it wasn’t the best for me or the rest of the group. We have to do what’s right for the good of the group, and that is what you are doing!

[GirlMomma]

Rockgirl YES! I’m glad I’m not the only one that feels this way.

[Rockgirl]

How did it go, giving them the termination notice?

[GirlMomma]

Both parents seem to be understanding, they had been expecting it based on the reports. His last day is the 17th.

Ironically, since I typed up the term letter… the kid has been good as gold.

[Rockgirl]

I’m sure you’re relieved!

[GirlMomma]

Yes!!!! 10 days to go!! 🥰