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I've been doing child care for over 22 years and really have never come across this before but do any of you ever experience where you really don't care for the parent of a child? Drop off and pick ups are uncomfortable although I'm not sure if that's the right word but they never say anything to me they don't ever ask me oh how was your weekend or Happy Mother's Day Merry Christmas barely even a hi how are you. It goes directly to something about their child very random like oh she played at the park last night or she saw a ladybug yesterday just very odd stuff or nothing at all just quick drop off not even barely a hi and they turn around and walk away or just babying their child at the door and this child is almost four. I just find it rather difficult In this situation that somebody trusts you to take care of their child yet they don't care about you as a provider or want to know anything about you it just seems so uncomfortable and odd to me maybe it's the generation this parent is I don't know but I'm just curious if anybody else deals with this? Like I said I've never had somebody like this before.
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I am not sure if I can relate, not all of my families have regular asked about my weekend. I barely know much about their private life.
I think sometimes is the expectation that we put on the situation. Like I don't expect them to have a conversation with me about my weekend, but it seems like you do so because they don't you're disappointed.
Although I will add that I've had a few parents that were talkative until they decided that they were moving on and they quieted down just before they gave notice. That ends up irritating because they think they're being sneaky sometimes and they're leaving clues all over the place.
And to answer your main question, yes definitely parents that I could not stand, but loved adored the child and they followed my policies. In that case I would always find a way to make the arrival and departures is efficient as possible.
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I don't think it's a 'personal against me' thing, I think the problem is NO ONE CONNECTS on any level now...or should I say VERY FEW in this generational-gap......and I don't feel like it's all from using devices; not real sure what it is; probably a combination with devices, no routines; all-about-me with EVERY single one in the family so NO ONE learns to care/empathy/communicate/adapt/share.....but that's just me so??Originally posted by TenderHearts View Post
I think people live from-the-neck-up....nothing ever makes it further into their heart so not many feelings of any kind for many people nowadays....but again, that's just my thinking.
Last edited by Annalee; 2 weeks ago.Comment
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I had a Mom who would just stare at me and sometimes give dirty looks when I would say good morning or hello. The Dad was very friendly and polite. The mom would occasionally make passive aggressive comments. I eventually termed care due to her daughter becoming aggressive with another child and biting. If she had been friendlier I would've probably worked with her and the child, but she was in complete denial that her daughter could do anything to hurt another child.
I have a current parent that I'm just doing temporary care for (a young infant), and she won't initiate any conversation with me besides a hello or good bye. I'm used to parents of infants asking questions on how their day went, but she doesn't say a word. I've had some other parents like that too...I think for most it just comes down to personality or they are just in a hurry to get to work or home. I try not to take it personally anymore.Comment
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Ugh; I hate standing at the door doing small talk.
I had one family that suddenly started dropping their child off in silence and leaving with grim expressions on their faces. It scared me, but it turned out later that the mom was getting deported and they had been fighting it in the legal system and failed.
I've had a couple of other families in which the dad was all chatty and wanted to linger and shoot the breeze, and then one day he stopped showing up at all because he up and left them for another woman and was making new and improved babies with her and had no need for the old babies. Two families.
I don't think small talk at the front door is any indication of character. If they are always running late, and you are asking chitchat type of questions, they may just be trying to get themselves back on schedule without telling you that they need to go, out of fear of being rude. If they are shy, they may be experiencing anxiety. They may have autism, like my mother does, and know that they are supposed to make small talk but be unable to judge that you aren't interested in making the kind of small talk they want to make, i.e., about the activities of their child, and instead want to talk about yourself.Last edited by Pestle; 2 weeks ago.Comment
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No I get that and I don't like a lot of talk at the door either however saying have a good weekend or have a good day, Merry Christmas isnt chitchat I feel those are just nice things to say and to at least say back. Maybe I'm too sensitive.Comment
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I think I have the opposite problem lately all of mine want to hang out on my front porch chatting with me at drop off! And none of them seem capable of understanding basic hints like “okay, tell mom goodbye, Miss X has lots of work to do!” They just keep trying to chat 😝Comment
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Personally, I don’t think it’s expecting too much at all as it is common courtesy.
At least it used to be common.
The most recent training info I received said that expecting eye contact during communication, or even expecting one’s full attention as well as those common courtesy’s we are used to should no longer be considered normal or expected because so many people have anxiety and/or other conditions that make those things difficult for them.
In complete honesty, I rolled my eyes in regards to that new info but in reality I’m not surprised at this change in societal expectations. Apparently nothing is suppose to be the norm anymore and everything is acceptable regarding behavior.Comment
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