Why Do Parents Ask Questions When They Know The Answer?

[Sahm121]

Dcp asked me today ‘do I pay for the time I keep my child home for vacation?’ . Yes. It’s been the same policy for over a decade. Same policy since your older child aged out 2 years ago. Same policy that is in the contract.

why should I take a financial hit so you can go on vacation?

[Gemma]

I think they hope that if they put you on the spot, you won't enforce your policies

[Annalee]

Exactly, Gemma! It's their passive-aggressive way of pushing the boundaries!

[Annalee]

SAHM, I split my weeks up alot with 3 days one week and two days the next and someone always asks if they can pay for ONE week this way. I am know as the "adamant contract daycare" in the community so why do they still ask

[Cat Herder]

To try to get a different answer.

[Springvalley]

We have parents ask if we are closed on a holiday even when we put it in our policies and hang signs on the doors! They still ask and it drives us bonkers

[Gemma]

Parents don't read, it is a fact!

[Annalee]

It's a power-struggle.....had a parent text me every day when I would quarantine that she didn't know what she was going to do and when I would open back up, he came one day a week....it's just a 'biggest kid on the block control' thing.

[Alwaysgreener]

Dcp asked me today ‘do I pay for the time I keep my child home for vacation?’ . Yes. It’s been the same policy for over a decade. Same policy since your older child aged out 2 years ago. Same policy that is in the contract.

why should I take a financial hit so you can go on vacation?

They do not see it this way. Just like you don't see it that way when you get a free cup of coffee or talk to a business like a bank to waive a late fee. It is not personal, it is business. You like saving money and so do your clients, they are not asking you to take a financial hit, they are asking your business to waive the week's fee. Stop taking it personally because it is not.

On another note, you should be setting aside money in case you do end up taking a financial hit, your lack of planning is not their problem, just like their lack of planning is not your problem, it works both ways.

[Jo123abc]

They do not see it this way. Just like you don't see it that way when you get a free cup of coffee or talk to a business like a bank to waive a late fee. It is not personal, it is business. You like saving money and so do your clients, they are not asking you to take a financial hit, they are asking your business to waive the week's fee. Stop taking it personally because it is not.

On another note, you should be setting aside money in case you do end up taking a financial hit, your lack of planning is not their problem, just like their lack of planning is not your problem, it works both ways.

Whoa! She's venting. Give her a break. 😏 That's what we need sometimes and why we're part of this little group. Sometimes we need someone who walks in our shoes and can give us a pep talk or support. You're being rude.

[Jo123abc]

Dcp asked me today ‘do I pay for the time I keep my child home for vacation?’ . Yes. It’s been the same policy for over a decade. Same policy since your older child aged out 2 years ago. Same policy that is in the contract.

why should I take a financial hit so you can go on vacation?

I agree with previous posters. They are trying to see if they can catch a break on their bill. You are providing a service. They need to pay for that service. It's not a "bank late fee" they are asking you to "waive". It's your contracted income. You should be paid for the services you make yourself available to provide. This income gives their child heat, electricity, shelter, food, water, entertainment... Etc. You don't get to pick and choose which bills to pay and neither should they. Also, they are likely using vacation pay from their employer. It doesn't kill them to give you a small percent of what they received regardless of their presence at work.

[PB&J]

They do not see it this way. Just like you don't see it that way when you get a free cup of coffee or talk to a business like a bank to waive a late fee. It is not personal, it is business. You like saving money and so do your clients, they are not asking you to take a financial hit, they are asking your business to waive the week's fee. Stop taking it personally because it is not.

On another note, you should be setting aside money in case you do end up taking a financial hit, your lack of planning is not their problem, just like their lack of planning is not your problem, it works both ways.

I don’t understand. We should be setting aside money for every family we have who can take a vacation (or get grandma to watch the kids or otherwise not use our services)? How is that OUR “lack of planning”? I usually agree with your posts, but this one has me stumped so maybe I’m missing something. My families know they just bought a reliable, dependable, safe, loving, caring, enriching spot for their child, available whenever they need it for the next five years. In return, I need a dependable income. They get one vacation week a year (after six months). Beyond that, they need to budget for this, no matter how they use it. I MAY waive “extra” fees ( late pickup, late payment, extended illness, etc) but not an entire week of income that they signed a contract for.

[Alwaysgreener]

Sorry about that, It looks like my post came across differently then it did in my head. Lol I will have to come back when I have more time and try again. Thank you

[Cat Herder]

I have posted the same thing many times. It always came from a place of *hindsight is 20/20* so I wanted to put that out there to empower, not judge. It is often met with "why should I??" and emotions, but it was not said from a place of emotion, it was said from a place of "Be proactive, protect yourself, expect them to do this, plan ahead, don't let them take advantage." The straight up fact is you are the only one who can protect you, you have the power and the final say on everything. Your backup plan and safety net is your responsibility. You can protect yourself.

[Alwaysgreener]

I don’t understand. We should be setting aside money for every family we have who can take a vacation (or get grandma to watch the kids or otherwise not use our services)? How is that OUR “lack of planning”? I usually agree with your posts, but this one has me stumped so maybe I’m missing something. My families know they just bought a reliable, dependable, safe, loving, caring, enriching spot for their child, available whenever they need it for the next five years. In return, I need a dependable income. They get one vacation week a year (after six months). Beyond that, they need to budget for this, no matter how they use it. I MAY waive “extra” fees ( late pickup, late payment, extended illness, etc) but not an entire week of income that they signed a contract for.

Reviewing what you are asking and what I said, I think I may not have transitioned well when switching topics. First was saying that the client asked for a discount, just like we all do, using a free coffee and waiving a bank fee as an example of discounts that people get. That it had nothing to do with her personally but her business. (basically, if she sees it as them asking her business for a discount instead of taking her family income, she may not take it so personally and relieving stress over dumb questions.)

Next, when I saw the op upset that her client did not want to pay and commented that it was a financial hit, I assumed that she was saying that she was not in the black with her finances and suggested that she plan for a financial hit. Not in any way did I mean for her not to charge for the spot while the client took a vacation. But to make a plan in case something did happen and so that financial hit would not hurt like her wording made it sound to me.

We charge for the spot not by attendance. If I am open, I am charging.

[Annalee]

Alwaysgreener, just wondering? are you a licensed provider? Not that it matters as my state also allows for legally unlicensed but some comments make me thing you are unlicensed. Sometimes that is where the miscommunication comes from. No disrespect at all, just a different viewpoint with stress levels when not dealing with added issues from multiple state entities. And I think even though licensing wasn't mentioned in the original post, the unlicensed viewpoint of this doesn't seem as such a big deal, but when you are dealing from a licensing viewpoint, it places the viewpoint on a more notable scale with added stress. Just my take on this issue as when I deal with unlicensed providers here between them and myself. Just different viewpoints at times.

[Gemma]

I think her post was misunderstood, I don't think she meant to say things the way they appear on her post

[Jo123abc]

Reviewing what you are asking and what I said, I think I may not have transitioned well when switching topics. First was saying that the client asked for a discount, just like we all do, using a free coffee and waiving a bank fee as an example of discounts that people get. That it had nothing to do with her personally but her business. (basically, if she sees it as them asking her business for a discount instead of taking her family income, she may not take it so personally and relieving stress over dumb questions.)

Next, when I saw the op upset that her client did not want to pay and commented that it was a financial hit, I assumed that she was saying that she was not in the black with her finances and suggested that she plan for a financial hit. Not in any way did I mean for her not to charge for the spot while the client took a vacation. But to make a plan in case something did happen and so that financial hit would not hurt like her wording made it sound to me.

We charge for the spot not by attendance. If I am open, I am charging.

I take it personally when parents don't want to pay me. Or don't pick up on time. It is a reflection on how much they respect and appreciate my work and quality care of their children. It's nice that you can separate your emotions from your work but as an empathetic provider I understand that not all of us can be so disconnected when dealing with parents. We aren't the bank or a coffee shop. We are sooooo much more. We are cooks, waiters, custodians, referees, nurses, business people and teachers. We deserve respect. Why do we always have to see it from a different point of view. Maybe our clients should see it from our point of view occasionally.

Some people live paycheck to paycheck. It also doesn't make them less. It's nice to prepare for a financial hit but it isn't always possible. Some of us live in areas where we can't charge as much. Some of us have circumstances that take our wages such as medical issues with family members. I'm sure most of us try to plan our finances but it isn't always that easy.

[Annalee]

I take it personally when parents don't want to pay me. Or don't pick up on time. It is a reflection on how much they respect and appreciate my work and quality care of their children. It's nice that you can separate your emotions from your work but as an empathetic provider I understand that not all of us can be so disconnected when dealing with parents. We aren't the bank or a coffee shop. We are sooooo much more. We are cooks, waiters, custodians, referees, nurses, business people and teachers. We deserve respect. Why do we always have to see it from a different point of view. Maybe our clients should see it from our point of view occasionally.

Some people live paycheck to paycheck. It also doesn't make them less. It's nice to prepare for a financial hit but it isn't always possible. Some of us live in areas where we can't charge as much. Some of us have circumstances that take our wages such as medical issues with family members. I'm sure most of us try to plan our finances but it isn't always that easy.

Agreed! I only have one private pay family as the rest are on essential worker pay and they STILL ask me 'silly' questions.....so sometimes it's simply a power-struggle as NO money is involved.