Why Do Parents Ask Questions When They Know The Answer?

[Cat Herder]

I believe it was simply a communication style issue. I read it as being supportive in encouraging you to build up an emergency fund so that parents can't hurt you again even if they do short you a weeks pay. To build you up, straighten your crown as women in business. I did not read it as a vent, either. I literally answered the direct question you asked.

[Cat Herder]

I am one who often steps on this landmine. I don't really run my business with emotion, I really don't have any big feelings about much of anything business related other than when it interferes with my peace, money or routine. Answers are usually yes or no. Stay, don't stay, I don't care either way. Every kid here has a replacement hoping for a call. Every parent asks for free or easy, the answer stays the same. I don't blame them for asking any more than I blame the dog for barking at the same mailman every day for the last 8 years. It is just what they do. When I speak straight to the point or answer a forum question as a "scenario" it isn't meant to minimize anyone's feelings. I truly have no concept of what possible feeling you are having about the issue unless you straight up tell me "I'm hurt." or "I'm sad", "I'm angry" or "I am looking for advice". Without that information my reply will simply be how I would handle your "scenario" and hope you will take use of the parts that help you and ignore the parts that don't. Maybe those part will help someone else? I is never intended to hurt, though.

[Cat Herder]

I have posted the same thing many times. It always came from a place of *hindsight is 20/20* so I wanted to put that out there to empower, not judge. It is often met with "why should I??" and emotions, but it was not said from a place of emotion, it was said from a place of "Be proactive, protect yourself, expect them to do this, plan ahead, don't let them take advantage." The straight up fact is you are the only one who can protect you, you have the power and the final say on everything. Your backup plan and safety net is your responsibility. You can protect yourself.

[Gemma]

or 8-9 mos early

[Jo123abc]

@PB&J I was responding to alwaysgreener sorry for the misunderstanding! You are right about perspective.

[PB&J]

No, that’s not it… I agree with you. I wouldn’t ask either, and I get annoyed when they ask! I remind them that their parent handbook has the answer. But…instead of letting it eat at me, I can think “well they reviewed the handbook at signup and haven’t taken a vacation yet so they are just clarifying… or, they have been here years and are just feeling me out for a long-timer discount, can’t hurt to ask.” I can wish a million times a day that the parents would just read the d*** book and get aggravated, or I can think that their head is in a different place and it takes all types and move on…Seeing a different perspective helps ME calm down. Kind of like the concept of forgiveness, which supposedly helps YOU more than the other party. For the record, I tend more to dwell and stew about lazy parents who can’t be in charge of THEIR contract that THEY signed and it irks me no end. But if I can manage to see another perspective, it can be calming. (This is just in reference to stupid questions, not huge policy violations or other jacka**ery)

[GirlMomma]

I understood what you meant Sahm121 I mean, either way, whether you’re swimming or drowning… a family not paying for a week IS CERTAINLY a financial hit. You have to buy the same food, same amount of supplies, etc regardless of one family’s attendance.

[Alwaysgreener]

Wow 3 months late.

[Sahm121]

Oh my goodness. This post seems to have gone sideways.

I was venting. I had two long term families (been with me over 3 years) try to avoid paying for vacations. It’s been the same policy since they started. They’ve paid every other time. After replying with ‘yes, it’s the same payment policy it’s always been’ with a big smile- One joked that they overspent at Disney and had hoped I wouldn’t charge.

The one comment that I thought was odd was that I am operating in the red because I said I didn’t want to take a financial hit. My policy is that they pay, who cares if i’m swimming in money or drowning in debt?

[Gemma]

Weird! I've had inspections in January and my license expires in October

[Jo123abc]

I guess that's where we differ. I wouldn't ask the dentist to charge me less than the next person unless there was a program in place for that in which I qualified (which is usually community, state, or government funded for financial hardship purposes). I wouldn't ask the barista to waive the cost of my coffee unless there was something wrong with it. They provided a service/good. I should pay for it! I think it's disrespectful to go around asking everyone for "discounts". A bank fee... Maybe, if I paid my bill right away but I probably wouldn't then either. They have a right to charge for my late payment. That'll teach me to pay closer attention to my due date that's for sure. 😉

[Blackcat31]

Alwaysgreener I don’t know.. I was replying to your statement that I quoted.
Maybe I misread your reply… lol! Darn text without tone
I thought you were saying providers or us in general should be more empathetic and see things from the parents point of view sometimes.
I wasn’t trying to be snarky or rude just scrolling along and adding my two cents 🙂

[Alwaysgreener]

I feel like my comment was taken out of context or I am reading your response wrong. My comment (that BC quoted above) was a reply to another poster that said " Why do we always have to see it from a different point of view. Maybe our clients should see it from our point of view occasionally." ---

[Alwaysgreener]

Gemma Yes, I said something about not expecting him until closer to my renewal date. Then he said that they can come anywhere from 30 days before the renewal date to 30 after the date. --- Most of my visits have fallen at nap time.

[PB&J]

I saw that part of AlwaysGreener’s reply as advice to help us cope with “vent-able” situations, not as a way to silence venting. It’s not even a mandate to summon even more empathy than we already possess - just a reminder that allowing another perspective in can HELP us down from the ledge. Kind of like the mental health advice to put a smile on your face when you’re crabby - studies show that just the physical act of smiling helps calm yourself (and softens others who approach you, lessening the chance for a crabby encounter making things worse). On this site we can’t talk to the parents and give them advice to see things from someone else’s point of view; we can only talk to and try to help each other. And we don’t have to agree with others’ viewpoints; just considering it FOR OURSELVES reminds us that all kinds of people inhabit this planet and maybe that’s sometimes enough to help us shrug it off.