Parent Trying to Run the Show

[mamadaycare]

So I have this mom that has me at my breaking point. From day one she has asked me questions nonstop and they have always been things that don't really matter. Like "did he take his binky today?" at 9 PM. I have had them for almost a year and have been nice and answered all the questions. But I feel like she is trying to take more control lately. She has been asking about how much she owes and I have told her repeatedly that I will let her know if anything ever changes and the invoice will reflect that. This is my first week back after being closed for a week for vacation. The week prior she didn't pay me on time and then asked at 7 PM about payment for that week saying she cancelled her alarm because she believed payment wasn't due since I was closed. I let her know that payment was due as normal. This family is part time for the summer MWF. This is was my first week back and I had to close monday because my youngest had a virus that traveled to her lungs. She asked to change her days this week, I agreed and she asked for WTF. Well she decided not to bring the kids at all because she was afraid they might catch whatever my daughter had. Totally understandable, but tuition day comes and the dreaded text I knew was coming came in, "how much do I owe for this week?" I let her know its the normal amount because she switched days. And she responds with "wait, even though I didn't bring them?" This has been my policy since I opened and I feel like this mom tries to make me feel like I am in the wrong so that she doesn't have to pay. Even though she knows this is my policy because she he reiterated it to me before. This is a normal conversation that I have with her. I am getting to my breaking point because it's like beating a dead horse. I can repeat myself over and over and yet we end up back at square one. Does anyone have a parent like this? Am I getting irritated for no reason?

[PB&J]

I have parents who question payment due for absences and vacations…once (and usually just during the interview). I make it clear that they are paying for a spot, and that spot must be fully funded in order for me to reliably stay in business and to keep valued staff; if they would like any other kind of payment plan, I can give them the number for the local CCR&R and they can move on. They have the right to want any kind of plan they want, but there’s only one plan at my place so once you sign the contract, you sign on to that plan. My end of the bargain is an agreement to be available and staffed with loving competent people at all contracted times, whether she attends or not.

I’d bring out the contract one last time, have her initial and date that she has been re-informed, and then stop answering that question. Or at least simply say “you know what your contract says” and change the subject.

[Blackcat31]

So I have this mom that has me at my breaking point. From day one she has asked me questions nonstop and they have always been things that don't really matter. Like "did he take his binky today?" at 9 PM. I have had them for almost a year and have been nice and answered all the questions. But I feel like she is trying to take more control lately. She has been asking about how much she owes and I have told her repeatedly that I will let her know if anything ever changes and the invoice will reflect that. This is my first week back after being closed for a week for vacation. The week prior she didn't pay me on time and then asked at 7 PM about payment for that week saying she cancelled her alarm because she believed payment wasn't due since I was closed. I let her know that payment was due as normal. This family is part time for the summer MWF. This is was my first week back and I had to close monday because my youngest had a virus that traveled to her lungs. She asked to change her days this week, I agreed and she asked for WTF. Well she decided not to bring the kids at all because she was afraid they might catch whatever my daughter had. Totally understandable, but tuition day comes and the dreaded text I knew was coming came in, "how much do I owe for this week?" I let her know its the normal amount because she switched days. And she responds with "wait, even though I didn't bring them?" This has been my policy since I opened and I feel like this mom tries to make me feel like I am in the wrong so that she doesn't have to pay. Even though she knows this is my policy because she he reiterated it to me before. This is a normal conversation that I have with her. I am getting to my breaking point because it's like beating a dead horse. I can repeat myself over and over and yet we end up back at square one. Does anyone have a parent like this? Am I getting irritated for no reason?

Could you maybe get ahead of her and send a reminder text right before payment is due and say something like "Reminder: Normal payment of $XXX.00 is due no later than Friday @5:00" That way she will know ahead of time and you won't have to have the same ridiculous conversation over and over again with her in regards to payment.

Act like you are sending it to everyone so she doesn't feel singled out if you think that might be an issue. I always add (GROUP TEXT) in my message if I want parents to think it went to everyone and not just them.

Also if she asks questions to nit pick payment, just continue to repeat something like "Per your contract, payment is due weekly regardless of attendance or time used"
Rinse and repeat.

If she simply does not get it and continues to question you, I might consider terming as I don't think I could deal with the constant interrogation.... It would be like dealing with one of the daycare kids but you can't out her in time out or down for a nap when it gets to be too much. lol! Hugs for dealing with her

[Cat Herder]

1. "Tuition is not based on attendance".
2. Turn off the cell phone at closing time, do not respond to anything until opening. Closed means no contact.
3. "No, you may not switch days unless you are paying for a full-time slot."
4. "Ok, just let me know when your last day will be so I can inform the next family on the waitlist."

Stick to your policies. Stop letting her steal your family time. Don't even read her texts off the clock because it still distracts you from your family, they deserve your full attention in the limited time they have with you. "They won't remember everything you did, but they will remember how you made them feel." < Keep that as your priority, not DCM.

[mamadaycare]

Could you maybe get ahead of her and send a reminder text right before payment is due and say something like "Reminder: Normal payment of $XXX.00 is due no later than Friday @5:00" That way she will know ahead of time and you won't have to have the same ridiculous conversation over and over again with her in regards to payment.

Act like you are sending it to everyone so she doesn't feel singled out if you think that might be an issue. I always add (GROUP TEXT) in my message if I want parents to think it went to everyone and not just them.

Also if she asks questions to nit pick payment, just continue to repeat something like "Per your contract, payment is due weekly regardless of attendance or time used"
Rinse and repeat.

If she simply does not get it and continues to question you, I might consider terming as I don't think I could deal with the constant interrogation.... It would be like dealing with one of the daycare kids but you can't out her in time out or down for a nap when it gets to be too much. lol! Hugs for dealing with her

So I have an invoicing system that automatically sends them the amount owed for that week. That's why it is so frustrating that she asks repeatedly. I feel like she is asking in hopes that I will allow her a different payment. And it honestly feels disrespectful to me and my business. She makes me want to pull my hair out lol.

[mamadaycare]

1. "Tuition is not based on attendance".
2. Turn off the cell phone at closing time, do not respond to anything until opening. Closed means no contact.
3. "No, you may not switch days unless you are paying for a full-time slot."
4. "Ok, just let me know when your last day will be so I can inform the next family on the waitlist."

Stick to your policies. Stop letting her steal your family time. Don't even read her texts off the clock because it still distracts you from your family, they deserve your full attention in the limited time they have with you. "They won't remember everything you did, but they will remember how you made them feel." < Keep that as your priority, not DCM.

I finally told her yesterday that going forward we were sticking to the original days we agreed upon to avoid confusion. It seems like she is grasping at straws trying to find a loophole to not pay when they aren't here. Knowing she would have the same thing at another place. Why do some parents have to make it so hard?! Sticking to policies is hard because I am a people pleaser so it stresses me out to do it, but I have pushed myself to stand by my contract. Thank you for the advice!

[mamadaycare]

I have parents who question payment due for absences and vacations…once (and usually just during the interview). I make it clear that they are paying for a spot, and that spot must be fully funded in order for me to reliably stay in business and to keep valued staff; if they would like any other kind of payment plan, I can give them the number for the local CCR&R and they can move on. They have the right to want any kind of plan they want, but there’s only one plan at my place so once you sign the contract, you sign on to that plan. My end of the bargain is an agreement to be available and staffed with loving competent people at all contracted times, whether she attends or not.

I’d bring out the contract one last time, have her initial and date that she has been re-informed, and then stop answering that question. Or at least simply say “you know what your contract says” and change the subject.

Yes! I need to do that. Even though I have a feeling she would continue to ask I am just going to stop answering questions about tuition since my invoicing system does everything for me. So if she asks and doesn't pay by closing that day I will reinvoice with a late fee. I have hit my limit for her games

[Cat Herder]

I finally told her yesterday that going forward we were sticking to the original days we agreed upon to avoid confusion. It seems like she is grasping at straws trying to find a loophole to not pay when they aren't here. Knowing she would have the same thing at another place. Why do some parents have to make it so hard?! Sticking to policies is hard because I am a people pleaser so it stresses me out to do it, but I have pushed myself to stand by my contract. Thank you for the advice!

I was a people pleaser, too. That is why I am so strict, now. You have to change your mindset from "People pleaser" to "Please the people that matter" ***not the people who demand special***. Manipulative parents make it so hard, respectful ones let you know how appreciated you are. You tame manipulators by repetition (NO), awkward silence and then ignore. $35 a month for a dedicated daycare phone I can turn off has been one of the best business decisions I have ever made. (straighttalk)

[GirlMomma]

mamadaycare I am a people pleaser too so I get all of this. But with an automated invoice system, it would really piss me off that she keeps asking. I’d tell her “see invoice” 😂

This forum has helped build my backbone SO MUCH! With the help of the members, I’m (slowly) learning how to keep my emotions out of business and always do what’s best for my business and my family. If parents don’t like it, they can find another daycare. I have a waiting list. The pain the butt parents are replaceable.

[mamadaycare]

I was a people pleaser, too. That is why I am so strict, now. You have to change your mindset from "People pleaser" to "Please the people that matter" ***not the people who demand special***. Manipulative parents make it so hard, respectful ones let you know how appreciated you are. You tame manipulators by repetition (NO), awkward silence and then ignore. $35 a month for a dedicated daycare phone I can turn off has been one of the best business decisions I have ever made. (straighttalk)

That's the perfect word for her, manipulative! I need to get better at not arguing with her about everything and just ignoring it. She knows the agreement and there is no reason to have the same question over and over

[mamadaycare]

mamadaycare I am a people pleaser too so I get all of this. But with an automated invoice system, it would really piss me off that she keeps asking. I’d tell her “see invoice” 😂

This forum has helped build my backbone SO MUCH! With the help of the members, I’m (slowly) learning how to keep my emotions out of business and always do what’s best for my business and my family. If parents don’t like it, they can find another daycare. I have a waiting list. The pain the butt parents are replaceable.

YES! It makes me feel like I am slowly losing my mind when she continues to ask hoping for a different answer. That is the point I am at. If she doesn't like the way I run things she can find other care. I only have 1 on my waitlist and would have two spots open but I could fill the second spot eventually, and hopefully with a better family. I am just not sure my sanity is worth her money anymore.

[Cat Herder]

The next time she asks "How much do I owe you this week" answer with "You should have already received your invoice, that is the amount you owe, same as always. Tuition is not based on attendance and does not change. Please stop asking what you owe as this topic has become a circular conversation and is taking up too much of my time. Thanks in advance for your understanding."

One of three things will happen.

1. She get's the message and stops asking.
2. She gets the message and picks a new topic to be a PITA about because she has no one else to boss around and make her feel powerful.
3. She gets offended and leaves.

My bet is on number 2 for this type. Be ready with a firm NO for each new topic until she finally decides it is more fun to create drama for attention at work and leaves you alone.

[mamadaycare]

The next time she asks "How much do I owe you this week" answer with "You should have already received your invoice, that is the amount you owe, same as always. Tuition is not based on attendance and does not change. Please stop asking what you owe as this topic has become a circular conversation and is taking up too much of my time. Thanks in advance for your understanding."

One of three things will happen.

1. She get's the message and stops asking.
2. She gets the message and picks a new topic to be a PITA about because she has no one else to boss around and make her feel powerful.
3. She gets offended and leaves.

My bet is on number 2 for this type. Be ready with a firm NO for each new topic until she finally decides it is more fun to create drama for attention at work and leaves you alone.

I love this response! I don't even care what choice she makes anymore, just as long as it involves not asking me this repeatedly. Thank you!

[Sahm121]

I had posted a vent a week or so ago asking ‘why do parents ask questions they know the answer to’ due to a similar situation. It does bother me, but I keep trying to be strong and just smile and make THEM feel awkward for asking. I think they figure we will feel guilty and say ‘oh no don’t pay’… as if!

[mamadaycare]

I had posted a vent a week or so ago asking ‘why do parents ask questions they know the answer to’ due to a similar situation. It does bother me, but I keep trying to be strong and just smile and make THEM feel awkward for asking. I think they figure we will feel guilty and say ‘oh no don’t pay’… as if!

I did feel guilty at first, I am such an empath so I always put myself in their shoes. But I have to remember they signed a contract knowing they are paying for a spot and I can't let these kind of parents control my business. With this parent in particular, if I give an inch she will take a mile