Disciplining a Child for Behavior at Pick-up

[Sparkles]

It's crazy! She's a sweet girl until her parents arrive, then she's a holy terror! I assume she's trying to show me that when dad or mom are here, I'm not in charge anymore - she is. She runs the show with her parents. She punched her mom in the face one time, and mom laughed. She told her mom to stay outside and wouldn't let her in and mom said "okay, I'll wait out here for you." 😬 Just a couple examples.

[Gemma]

"I told her to get out and she smirked at me and said "nope". unacceptable behavior! I would have a talk with DCP and give a clear warning, another disrespectful episode like this one and she's out

[Cat Herder]

I have an area that I don't allow the dcks to play in, and I reminded dcg of that before pick up. As soon as dcd pulled up the driveway, she ran in the area and started kicking the rocks on the walkway. I told her to get out and she smirked at me and said "nope". I grabbed her out. Dcp was in the car the whole time, so he wasn't around.

She's a terror as soon as dcp shows up. Like a totally different child. Drives me insane.

I assume you do pick-up outdoors, then? In that scenario, I would have DCG sitting at a picnic table, hands & face washed/hair brushed/ready to go home, with her composition book and colored pencils every day. That would be her activity for "clean up for going home time" on the posted classroom schedule. Every day. She would be sent to the restroom to " potty, wash up, brush up" about 20 minutes prior to her regular pickup time, then to the table to draw in her book.

I do my pick-up time inside. We all come in and get cleaned up, changed, washed up, brushed up then they go to the soft seating/library area. I then vacuum, mop, wash nap linens and clean/disinfect toys. No one leaves the library until they are picked up. There are manipulatives, books, puppets, puzzles and a doll house in there to keep them occupied. I have a baby gate that I can put up if I need to but I have not had to use it in years. They like the soft rug and coziness of that area (and the twinkle lights). Other than circle time and going home time, they don't get to play in there so run to it each afternoon.

[Sparkles]

Thanks for the replies!

I have an area that I don't allow the dcks to play in, and I reminded dcg of that before pick up. As soon as dcd pulled up the driveway, she ran in the area and started kicking the rocks on the walkway. I told her to get out and she smirked at me and said "nope". I grabbed her out. Dcp was in the car the whole time, so he wasn't around.

She's a terror as soon as dcp shows up. Like a totally different child. Drives me insane.

[Cat Herder]

If it is in the parents presence, I remind the parent to get it under control or I will. If it is during the time the parent is coming to the door and we have not come out yet, I call the parent and tell them we will be out in a few minutes because ______. They usually text back something along the lines of "lol! Bet she won't do that again." or "I am so sorry, I will wait in the car."

I make it clear that I handle what happens at my house and they handle what happens at theirs. The only grey area is the handoff. I don't ask them to punish what happens here and I won't punish what happens there. We all discipline for our own environment and have completely different forms of punishment where discipline ends. What happens in group care is usually very different from what happens at home so are rarely the same issues.

[Blackcat31]

I do. Depends on the age and the behavior but yes I discipline the day after for negative behavior at pick up.
Also at 4 I think they’re plenty old enough to understand.
I remove a privilege the next day and discuss why.
I also discuss with the parent so they’re in the know and on same page.

[Sparkles]

Do you discipline a dck who misbehaved at pick-up the night before? I've got a dck who is really pushing my buttons and I'm still fuming at how she behaved last night. But, I also don't know if it will be effective in changing her behavior. She's 4, btw.