Struggling Lately

[GirlMomma]

Ahh yes, the feeling trapped in your own home feeling? If that’s it, SAME! 😂

I’m working hard to get my daycare out of here I can at least leave every day, I think people will take me more seriously if it’s not my home & I can hire more help/bring in more kids & income.

The positive side for me: COVID happened. It prepared me for this. I was NOT the SAHM type until I was forced to. Then I couldn’t bare leaving my kids to be raised by someone else. I’m grateful for the pandemic in many ways!!

[GirlMomma]

Oh and I forgot, if you can afford it — TAKE THE TIME OFF!

I allow three weeks off a year, in return, I give the same to my families. This year I’m taking 3 days next week and I decided an hour ago I’m taking 12/23/21 to 1/3/22 OFF! My kids deserve time with their momma on winter break.

[GirlMomma]

mamadaycare I haven’t been open a year yet either & I hit this point as well not too long ago. I sat down and made simple changes.

Here is what is helping me:

1) This is YOUR business, you have to treat it like one. Start by enforcing your polices immediately and keeping your emotions out of your business. This Forum helps me vent a lot so I can remain smiley and positive for my families and kiddos.

2) We are not doing squat this summer LOL unless it’s raining outside, all arts and crafts and sensory bins are put up until September. It is free play all day! We have to let them little, too ❤️

3) I follow a simple schedule when we are learning: Open, Breakfast, Free Play, Circle Time (Calendar/Weather/Story/Letters/Numbers/Shapes/Colors, etc) onto the Lesson Of The Day, Music/Exercise, Lunch, Naps, Snack, Free Play, Clean Up, Musics, Closing.

The Lesson of the Day changes, Monday’s are sensory play, Tuesdays are our science days, Wednesday’s are arts and crafts, Thursday we
review the things we learned during circle time (letter of the week, numbers, etc) and by Friday, we’re all burnt out and we do Free Play - ALL DAY! I do have centers set up for those that want to draw and some Friday's I’ll put out one sensory bin, depending on how much clean up I feel like dealing with.

4) Because of the no call no shows and late drop offs out of a few bad seeds, I implemented a (generous) 10 AM drop off time, which is in-line with other DC policies in my area. If my bad seeds don’t show by 10, then I know to move on with my day and how much to make for lunch. The majority of my parents communicate with me, so if I don’t hear from them, I do reach out to make sure they’re okay. I love CH’s hot car policy.

5) If a parent or child is giving you negative energy, terminate.

I hope you feel better! Lots of hugs!!!

[Alwaysgreener]

Completely agree, well said. I loved the term business chore, I am stealing that.

[mamadaycare]

I don't know who your friend is, but her time is coming. Hopefully, you will be more supportive of her than she has been to you.

I think I may know what she was trying to say, though. This can be a thankless job and can really hurt your feelings if you let it. The key here is, if you let it. Only your expectations can hurt your feelings. The rest is a business deal. It is how you both respond to the same stimulus. EX: Your friend may send home Christmas Gifts, not get a thank you and think "Glad that clutter is out of my way. Bring on January 1st." where you might feel hurt. One views it as a business chore, the other a Christmas gift.

You will have to change your mindset to "I am paid to do this, I will do the required amount." instead of "They will like this, this is awesome!". Hoping they will notice and appreciate it is what will break you down. Most likely they won't care, unless you don't do anything. They pay you to do it and won't see anything you do as being extra or special so you have to dump your expectations at the door. It get's easier over time.

That is true! We are different people and handle everything very differently! I need to stop taking everything so personally. I also need to stop trying to impress them and just do things I am required to do for my job. It's crazy that parents can completely change your perspective on the job and not even realize it. Having an in home has brought on some challenges that I never thought would be a problem.

[Cat Herder]

I don't know who your friend is, but her time is coming. Hopefully, you will be more supportive of her than she has been to you.

I think I may know what she was trying to say, though. This can be a thankless job and can really hurt your feelings if you let it. The key here is, if you let it. Only your expectations can hurt your feelings. The rest is a business deal. It is how you both respond to the same stimulus. EX: Your friend may send home Christmas Gifts, not get a thank you and think "Glad that clutter is out of my way. Bring on January 1st." where you might feel hurt. One views it as a business chore, the other a Christmas gift.

You will have to change your mindset to "I am paid to do this, I will do the required amount." instead of "They will like this, this is awesome!". Hoping they will notice and appreciate it is what will break you down. Most likely they won't care, unless you don't do anything. They pay you to do it and won't see anything you do as being extra or special so you have to dump your expectations at the door. It get's easier over time.

[mamadaycare]

What you are feeling is so common and will become a repetitive theme every few years. It is always worse during the summer and holidays, that is when parents tend to act the worst. I see a few things that may help you.

1. Simplify. Photos on Friday, Crafts on Wednesday, etc..... space it out. Not too much take home. 1-2 pieces per week, max. Otherwise it become the expected and ignored.

2. No curriculum in the summer. Use that time to plan for the preschool year and save some craft money back for emergencies.

3. Text for no show, then call after 30 minutes (hot car policy). They will hate the ringing/messages and like Pavlov's dogs will react by responding before the calls, over time.

4. Do less. The more you do the less they appreciate it. Some even resent it. Do child care well. Do curriculum, crafts, art and cutesy special fun a few times a month. That makes them special and makes the parent feel less of a heel when they can't match your energy on weekends/holidays with their own. Let them see you are tired from it sometimes, too. Think about Jan. Marsh, Marsha, Marsha!! Always does everything perfect..... Don't be Marsha all the time. Pull a Jan every now and then to build rapport.

It makes me feel so much better knowing that this is normal! My friend who has done in home for a few years said she has never felt that way so maybe I should just quit which was super discouraging. I want to go back to loving my job. I wish we were allowed mental health days because I think this would be the perfect time for one.

[Alwaysgreener]

Well said.

[Cat Herder]

What you are feeling is so common and will become a repetitive theme every few years. It is always worse during the summer and holidays, that is when parents tend to act the worst. I see a few things that may help you.

1. Simplify. Photos on Friday, Crafts on Wednesday, etc..... space it out. Not too much take home. 1-2 pieces per week, max. Otherwise it become the expected and ignored.

2. No curriculum in the summer. Use that time to plan for the preschool year and save some craft money back for emergencies.

3. Text for no show, then call after 30 minutes (hot car policy). They will hate the ringing/messages and like Pavlov's dogs will react by responding before the calls, over time.

4. Do less. The more you do the less they appreciate it. Some even resent it. Do child care well. Do curriculum, crafts, art and cutesy special fun a few times a month. That makes them special and makes the parent feel less of a heel when they can't match your energy on weekends/holidays with their own. Let them see you are tired from it sometimes, too. Think about Jan. Marsh, Marsha, Marsha!! Always does everything perfect..... Don't be Marsha all the time. Pull a Jan every now and then to build rapport.

[mamadaycare]

I just posted a few days ago about a difficult parent. Well since then I am feeling so discouraged about doing in home daycare. My parents are so disrespectful and I don't feel appreciated in the slightest. I will text them and get no response, the kid will be out sick for days and I won't hear from them. They no call no show, which is fine but a courtesy text would be nice. I just feel like I am a babysitter to all of them and nothing more. I work so hard to teach their kids, provide a good curriculum, send lots of pictures and I feel it really goes unnoticed. I am starting to dread everyday and I don't want to feel this way. I use to really enjoy my business, I haven't even been open a year yet. Anyone else feel this way? Any words of encouragement? I just don't know how much longer I can continue this, but I also need the income.