Can I Change My Mind?

[Sahm121]

I had a former family (dcb aged out) tell me last Xmas that they were expecting twins and would need care this fall. I was over the moon and had two kids aging out in august so it would work out perfect. No contract or anything was signed at that time and we agreed to chat in May of this year to confirm details…

well…. Things kind of have changed. We got COVID in February and I lost half my kids (due to that and job changed) in March of this year. I decided to take out a loan to keep the daycare afloat and take extra classes so I can graduate with my bachelors in education next spring which means I am so tired!

I have asked then to pay a deposit to hold the spot twice and nothing. I asked them to tell me when they’re home from the hospital to drop off enrollment packet and nothing… today one of my neighbors asked if I was excited about having twins (small community) and it made me stop to think and I don’t know if I am! Eek

Theyre not due to start for 2 1/2 months based on our conversation earlier this year.

I have to really think this through but the more and more I think about it, the more I’m realizing I think I may have underestimated the amount of work they’ll need. I have assistants and we’ve had infants and all I can think is that I have to set up the cribs again and all the toys have to be swapped out for infant safe toys..

Some more Back story - when dcb aged out, they pulled with no notice due to deciding to enroll at a different school. I kept the deposit and they apologized…: but that’s been weighing on my mind. I only get 8 full time spots and to have 25% of my spots with one family that has burned me once makes me nervous… but I might just be looking for excuses to make myself feel better about potentially backing out. Had they paid the deposit when I asked, I don’t even think I would even consider such a thing though…

What do I do? Help me think this through please!

[Cat Herder]

I have asked them to pay a deposit to hold the spot twice and nothing.

I thought it through for you. "I never heard back from you or received your deposit, so I filled the slots with paying clients.".

[Gemma]

That alone would've changed my mind too

[Sahm121]

That was my thought too but then my husband tried to tell me that I need to be considerate because they’re former clients and she was pregnant with twins…


Is it horrible that I’m hoping THeY changed their minds and haven’t told me.

[PB&J]

I have asked them to pay a deposit to hold the spot twice and nothing.

I thought it through for you. "I never heard back from you or received your deposit, so I filled the slots with paying clients.".

EXACTLY what I was coming here to write!

[GirlMomma]

If you asked them to pay the deposit months ago, I wouldn’t hold the spots for them. I was burned one time by that & I will never hold any spot without a deposit again.

[Cat Herder]

I won't hold slots without full payment, every week, paid in advance. The slot is offered, invoice is sent. If not paid by 7am Monday, slot is offered to the next on the list, invoice is sent. Parent who pays first claims the slot. I have had people holding a slot before the pregnancy test was positive, several times. The longest was 24 months.

[Sahm121]

To be clear - I didn’t ask for payment or anything until May when I said we should confirm and I needed a deposit. I haven’t given them any paperwork since I put it on them to tell me when to drop it off… I know I dropped the ball on my end too..

it could also be that I started a 1 year old this week that has never been in daycare before and struggling to adjust. Prior to this week, the kids I have barely ever cry and are sooooo good. It’s only Wednesday and dealing with the new kid crying (who is one and crawling so doesn’t require constant holding) has me exhausted

so do I call them and say I’m so sorry I can’t do it…. I would hate to have them assume they have care when I know infant care is practically impossible around her

[Blackcat31]

Have they contacted you at all since you've tried to contact them about the deposit? When was the last time they've contacted you?

[Sahm121]

Sort of. We life in a small community and there was a community type open gathering and I ran into the older sibling and mom texted me a picture of the babies. At that point, I had already asked twice for the deposit so it felt awkward to reply with where’s my money…

I haven’t seen them (parents) but have seen the sibling around. It was weird yesterday dck yelled from across the street where i was walking with my daycare kids if I’m ready to take care of the babies and that I better take good care of them. It made me uncomfortable to be talked that way by a child (especially a former daycare kid). It prompted this where now I’m second guessing myself.

[Cat Herder]

Aghhh!! Run. That sounds like it will be a nightmare to go forward with.

[Cat Herder]

IME, Parents who really want the slot email, facebook or text a lot just to stay in contact.

[Blackcat31]

IME, Parents who really want the slot email, facebook or text a lot just to stay in contact.

This is what I was getting at as well.

If you've had contact with the family in those ways yet no actual conversation has happened on their end to secure their space, then I would rightfully assume they arent all that interested. Especially since you directly contacted them about a deposit and got no reply. Twice.

I'd cut my losses and move on. With their lack of contact, it gives you a very easy out IF they do contact you in the future.

[Sahm121]

Soooooo dcm just texted me to ask IF they had to pay a deposit and give me an estimated start date. Im going to take until Friday to really think about This.

[Cat Herder]

I'd text back: "Your slots are available now, but I cannot hold them any longer. If you intend to enroll, you will need to begin paying full tuition every week beginning on Monday, August 9th. Please let me know by the end of business today as I have other families interested in starting, too. Thanks!"

Unless you just don't want to take them. Then: "Thanks for getting back to me. I wanted to tell you that those slots are no longer available. I made several attempts to contact you last month with no response and filled them when I never heard back from you. I need payment in full to meet my own financial obligations as I am sure you understand. I will add you to the waitlist and get back in touch with you if anything opens back up. Have a great afternoon! "

[flying_babyb]

twins are hard, especially if you fallow all the rules. I worked at a center with a set of twins in my room. Mom had them on the same schedule since her oldest daughter (teen) was helping with feeding. So I tried to get them to eat 20-25 apart. NO go. We got written up the next week. Licensing came in when I had both babies on boppys and was feeding one with each hand. I tried to explain and ask licensing what I should do., she told me to let one cry!

[Former Teacher]

Licensing are real winners aren't they? I do not miss them for one second!