Wiping Noses and Bums

[Momboss]

At what age do you stop helping children with wiping their nose or bottom?
my son goes to 3yr old half day preschool program. Long story short i found out they dont help with wiping nose or helping in the bathroom. Totally fine and I understand. There are certain skills prechoolers should know how to do and privacy boundries in the bathroom. But in daycare settings, is it more expected that you help with these things even if the child is 3 , 4, 5?

[e.j.]

Each kid is different so I don't have a set age at which I stop helping. We just work on the skills they need until they can do them by themselves. They usually learn the skills before they head off for school so I don't worry about it too much.

[Cat Herder]

Most half-day Preschool programs have the enrollment requirement that the child has mastered self-help skills. Check your enrollment package, it should be in there. I don't wipe 3 year olds, either barring special needs. If they need assistance toileting, they are not fully potty trained.

[Annalee]

I have dcb3.5 whose mom asked me all the time (did you notice I sent him in a pullup this morning?) Uhm, nope, he goes to bathroom on his own as YOU told me he was potty-trainied... drives me nuts

[livinglife]

Though I have worked at a preschool we helped with bathroom wiping, that's not the norm. In most programs, the children are expected to have mastered wiping. However, children were definitely encouraged to attempt on their own first.

Nose wiping, was a no unless the child's face was pretty bad. Children were encouraged to do it on their own because they are capable.

[Blackcat31]

I never used to have to help any of my 3+ yr olds with nose wiping or toileting but these last few years it seems even my 5 yr olds are helpless and/or clueless so I’m basically having to assist them all.
I don’t like it but it’s better than poo or snot everywhere.

[Annalee]

It's not just needing help to be wiped; it's the fact they are so SLOW nd can't get in there and then can't get their clothes down......goes on and on....finally have them where they can get up on the potty but some of act like it's 10 feet tall when getting off....crazy!

[flying_babyb]

SO in our center, 3s wipe there own stuff cause most of them are being sent from the classroom to the bathroom (still in visual range) alone. There are a couple that need help with a BM wipe, but mostly they just want someone to "check". As far as noses, 3s and up do there own noses. 2s start doing most of there own.

[e.j.]

I don’t like it but it’s better than poo or snot everywhere.

My thoughts exactly!

[CeriBear]

I don’t like it but it’s better than poo or snot everywhere.

Same here. I always encourage the children to try and wipe their own bottoms and noses. If they really can’t get all the poop off I will help them. My kids are 3-4 and most of them will do these self help skills by themselves. I have one little girl who needs help more than others but she’s getting better at it. As for wiping noses I really don’t. I give them a Kleenex or a wipe and have them do it by themselves.

[GirlMomma]

Around 18 months, I start handing kids the wipes to wipe their hands and faces after lunch. They do need help, but they start learning the motions. They also have to put their cups on the counter and then their plates in the sink. Most of them pick it up quickly, others have to be reminded.

By 2YO, I have them wipe their own noses. Because they are used to wiping their hands and faces after lunch, most of them have no issue with this. The problem they (and all kids) have is blowing their noses.

I have a 4YO that just started wiping himself. I agree, if the child can’t wipe themselves after going to the bathroom, they’re not fully potty trained. But I also agree that wiping is better than smelling it and having it everywhere.

[Cat Herder]

I guess, for me, it was not about the wiping. It was about the program requirements : "my son goes to 3yr old half day preschool program"

I don't wipe after age three, but I only enroll newborns. By age three, I have already taught them, myself.

[Cat Herder]

Also, the kids use wipes, not toilet paper, then toss them in the can. They use as many as they need until it comes back clean.

[Blackcat31]

Momboss, I think the difference is that you knew the requirements when you signed your child up for preschool. I honestly don't think adopting that type of requirement for child care would be 100% doable unless you only provide care for a certain age group. KWIM?

When care of multiple age groups are offered in one setting I think parents view it more as care (even if you offer preschool academics etc) so I don't personally see requiring a child to be able to wipe by a certain age working. I mean how would you implement that?

Let's say you enroll Johnny at age 1 and require him to be able to wipe his own bottom without assistance by age 3. Would you terminate care if he turned 3 and still needed assistance? If you enrolled at 3 I could see that requirement working fine...no start/attendance until that skill is mastered but what happens if they start prior to that age?

Like Cat Herder said...if you enroll them young it's just a process that is taught to them by both you and the parent as they age. Which is something I think almost all of us do now as it is. Hopefully that makes sense....

[Cat Herder]

Oh, no. I would not adopt that policy. If I went through a dry spell and did not have newborns beating down my door, I would start where I met the kid and work forward. I am pretty literal and answered your question that way.

[Momboss]

@blackcat it makes sense. My thought was that I wouldn’t necessarily require it by a certain age, i would just no longer help after a certain age. So if there was a poop stain in the underwear, the parents would just understand that they need to keep teaching/ encouraging their child to get better at that skill. I think 4 going on 5 is too old to be wiping a childs bottom that is not mine. It seems invasive to me.

[Cat Herder]

Personally, I would just not enroll a 4-5 year old who needs potty help; instead of rewriting my policies. If I had the kid since infancy and he still could not wipe himself, I would have sent them for services earlier on. I have them all do ASQ's every three months and send home lists of self-help skills they need to work on, so they would already be gone or adapted.

[Annalee]

My thinking is it depends on the situation.....I don't mind helping but some of these kids are PURE LAZY and that gets my goat!!!!! When mom has to drag you in at 4 years old cause you refuse to walk and then you lay around like a sloth....that bothers me even more!

[TwinMama]

I try and encourage them to do it on their own, but I don't necessarily want a mess of poo or snot smeared across a face so I help them if they need it no matter what age.