Potty Training (at Naptime), How Much Do You 'Encourage' It?

[SailingSenorita]

Bit of of semi-newbie question here. I thought I'd seek everyone's wisdom, as this is a very loving, wonderful family, that I owe a lot to - and genuinely like very much. DCM is actually a former co-worker of mine.

Anyways, I've been caring for her two just turned 4 yo DCK's, b/g twins, for years and years now. Both are potty trained, and have been for a long while, but DCB still consistently wets his bed every.single.night. and also will wet himself 99% of the time during nap here. DCG hasn't had an accident of any sort here in over 2 years. DCB is in diapers for bedtime, and during nap.

My question is, how do you all typically approach potty issues and naptime? I always encourage everyone to try and go before lying down, but DCB like clockwork still routinely wakes up with a wet diaper. WWYD?

[GirlMomma]

Some kids just do that. I have a DCB4 who is still in a pull up at nap and will wet it. It doesn’t bother me too much - I make him take his wet pull up off and clean himself up.

[e.j.]

"I always encourage everyone to try and go before lying down, but DCB like clockwork still routinely wakes up with a wet diaper. WWYD?"

I would do what you're doing and try to remain patient. He'll get there; it just takes longer for some kids than others. Beyond having him try to go to the bathroom before he goes down for a nap, I don't think there's much you can do, other than maybe limit fluids before nap time if he tends to drink excessively.

have two 4 year old boys. One has been able to stay dry throughout nap time for the past year and a half with maybe one accident within that entire time. He's a deep sleeper so I put a waterproof pad down on his cot just in case but it really hasn't been necessary. I have another boy about the same age. He's been potty trained for about a year or so and hasn't had an accident (pee or bm) for quite some time. He does wear a Pull-Up everyday at nap time, though, because he does still wet at night and he does pee every day in his Pull-Up, whether he falls asleep or not. (I've encouraged him to get up and use the bathroom but he usually won't.) He's asked when he'll be allowed to go without a Pull-Up (he wants to do what the other boy does - ALWAYS!) I've told him he can go without a Pull-Up once he's able to stay dry for 2 weeks straight with no accidents. He's got a goal and wants to attain it but it is taking him longer than it did the other boy. He'll do it when his body is ready.

[SailingSenorita]

Thank you for the insight!

I'll be the first to admit, I was probably stressing out about this more than I should have been. DCB maybe only sleeps during naptime some of the time or so...which is fine, by itself. It just makes it all the more confusing that he manages - like clockwork - to pee in his diaper every day.

I do indeed have him try and go to the bathroom beforehand, and he knows he can get up at any time, for help with taking off his diaper to go to the bathroom. He's never done this a single time however. Today he peed within 15 minutes of being down for his nap (again, despite being asked to try to go in the bathroom beforehand). During the same nap period, he wet himself again a bit before I started getting up, and literally shrugged and had nothing to say when I asked him why he did that. Lord...

[SailingSenorita]

"I always encourage everyone to try and go before lying down, but DCB like clockwork still routinely wakes up with a wet diaper. WWYD?"

I would do what you're doing and try to remain patient. He'll get there; it just takes longer for some kids than others. Beyond having him try to go to the bathroom before he goes down for a nap, I don't think there's much you can do, other than maybe limit fluids before nap time if he tends to drink excessively.

have two 4 year old boys. One has been able to stay dry throughout nap time for the past year and a half with maybe one accident within that entire time. He's a deep sleeper so I put a waterproof pad down on his cot just in case but it really hasn't been necessary. I have another boy about the same age. He's been potty trained for about a year or so and hasn't had an accident (pee or bm) for quite some time. He does wear a Pull-Up everyday at nap time, though, because he does still wet at night and he does pee every day in his Pull-Up, whether he falls asleep or not. (I've encouraged him to get up and use the bathroom but he usually won't.) He's asked when he'll be allowed to go without a Pull-Up (he wants to do what the other boy does - ALWAYS!) I've told him he can go without a Pull-Up once he's able to stay dry for 2 weeks straight with no accidents. He's got a goal and wants to attain it but it is taking him longer than it did the other boy. He'll do it when his body is ready.

Bit of a follow up question, but - how much do you actually push for them to actually try and 'go' before napping? I insist that DCB at least try, but 90% of the time, he claims he doesn't have to go, or I suspect just goes into the bathroom and wastes time.

Just realized I'm making this DCB out to sound a lot more defiant than he really is...both he and his sister are two of the most wonderful, sweethearted kids I've ever cared for. I've been watching them regularly since they were 1.5, so this isn't anything that bothers me necessarily. Just a bit concerned because this is unfamiliar ground for me.

[e.j.]

No worries; I didn't feel as though you were making him out to be a defiant kid. I think it's a normal phase kids go through sometimes. I don't push; I encourage. ;-) I offer them the opportunity to use the bathroom and I encourage the kids who say they don't have to go to at least try but I don't insist they actually go before they nap. It doesn't really matter to me if the dcb who wears a Pull-Up wets when he naps since the Pull-Up contains any accident he has.

My dcb who naps without a Pull-Up is also a really good kid, very polite and well behaved. He recently started telling me he doesn't need to pee before he naps. The first time he told me that, I encouraged him to try but he insisted he didn't have to go. I put down an extra waterproof pad which was a good thing since he didn't wake up and peed in his pants but it at least didn't leak onto my carpet. The next day, he told me he didn't have to go so I reminded him of what happened the day before. He tried and did pee. Each time he's told me he doesn't have to pee before nap, I remind him of why he should try and I also tell him if he does have another accident, he will have to start wearing a Pull-Up, which apparently, is a fate worse than death for him. He usually will try now and does end up peeing. Hope that helps. :-)

[Springvalley]

We've got a dcb who is still in pullups at naptime and during the day. But when he gets up from nap he's soaked every time and we make him go before nap and during the day but he still wets himself. We make him clean himself up and he gets punished at home for it if he does it at daycare whats your opinions on this

[e.j.]

My opinion is that the poor kid shouldn't be punished. If it were one of my dc kids, I'd try to talk with the parents and explain that it's not something he should be punished for doing. I'd try to provide some reading material for them on the potty training process that includes an explanation that it can take time for some kids to stay dry during sleep.

[Blackcat31]

I agree that toilet accidents shouldn’t include a punishment.
Sometimes it’s a physical issue beyond the child’s control
Other times it’s about control and not the actual act itself but even then IMHO I think it warrants support and guidance not punishment.

[Cat Herder]

Sounds like it is possible the kid does it everyday to get punished. Negative attention beats no attention. Do the parents plan enough family time that is not centered on discipline, toileting or "early education" ?

[SailingSenorita]

Bit of a tangential question for everyone, because of something that happened just today:

Do you all change diapers (pee only, in this case) for kids that technically 'awake' during naptime? DS announced that he was wet earlier today (despite having plenty of opportunity to go in the bathroom before naptime), and then actually ended up peeing again, with less than 10 minutes left in naptime.

DCM was not around today at pickup, but I'd planned on mentioning it to her tomorrow.

[Cat Herder]

I do change them during naptime, on their own napmat. It only takes seconds and the kid can go back to sleep. I don't make them get up and go through the whole "potty time" routine because it is unnecessarily disruptive.