The Funny Thread

[Cat Herder]

It's funny because a lot of it is true....

[Cat Herder]

In our local paper, Dear Editor section: People are over it.


GEORGIA CAUTION:

In regards to all the people wanting to move here from New York, California and Florida as well as many other heavily populated cities across the country, as well as those wanting to visit...

Before you come to Georgia to visit you must be aware of what is happening here. Especially, around the rural and all of middle Georgia! There's a housing shortage, rent has tripled, and folks are vacationing here in record numbers...

So if you plan on moving here, or just plan on vacationing in our river bottoms, hill country, mountains or lakes this summer, I think you should know that wolf spiders, fire ants and bedbugs have infested hotels and motels across the area due to dryer than usual weather. The woods will eat you alive with ticks and chiggers.

Our lakes are full of gators, fresh water sharks, and creepy old guys wearing speedos.

Our rivers are full of drunks in tubes peeing themselves while the banjo players lay waiting in the bushes.

Georgia panthers have eaten many domesticated animals and possibly some small children.

The local bear and coyote population are all 'in heat' and think your wife/girlfriend is hot.

Snakes... don’t even get me started on the water headed copper moccasins here, and the Diamond Back Rattler Cobras.

The poison ivy has overtaken all other vegetation.

We have had bear sightings at every park and town and they are after your picnic baskets….and some cougars have been spotted in motel rooms and bars.

Watch out for the jackalopes, they have been extremely aggressive this season.

We have the Skunk Ape invading our parks and it’s their mating season. Porcupines are "stabbing" small children should they dare to utilize the local playground equipment.

Skunks have made their way over and multiplied at unprecedented rates and wander the local campgrounds in packs looking for beer.

Murder hornets!?! We’ve got great black clouds of murder hornets, and swarms of giant crickets and even some Oklahoma grasshoppers.

Scorpions have now migrated here and have been congregating in massive quantities under rocks, logs, wooden steps, automobiles, and tarantulas are now stealing peoples food and biting like crazy.

I’m pretty sure all private tiger owners (we had a jump in them after Tiger King) have released their cats into the streets of our cities and towns.

Head lice now fly and we have vampire bats.

Oh, and no one is vaccinated.

I hear Idaho and Louisiana are really nice though.

[Alwaysgreener]

Dcg2 likes dcb8 for some reason she only sees him for 30-60 minutes after school twice a week but she talks to dcm about him. Dcm thought he was younger and here all day.

Recently Dcg has started asking me if she can tickle DCB. I said yes not sure what would happen (he doesn't like to be hugged) She tickled him and her tried to catch her to tickle back. (She tickles by touching or almost touching your side and saying tickle tickle while moving her fingers, then running)

This week she started calling to him, "DCB come here". When he does, he will ask her what she wants and she will say "nothing" but she will do it again a few minutes later.

She does this all on her own but after today, I so wish I could take credit for it. Lol

[Sahm121]

GirlMomma - I guess not. I couldn’t hide my shocked and horrified expression even with my mask on. Today she clarified that bedtime is 6pm and only 5:30 on the days he’s tired. I told her it breaks my heart that she has barely any time with dcb. Just a blank stare in reply.

[Cat Herder]

Oh, wow. How weird.

[Cat Herder]

Oh, wow. This one does that too, along with humming while eating. That is such a funny coincidence, his mom is too. lol!!! Now I will wonder....

[Annalee]

A 'property agent' just came here to REPO a dodge truck that we DO NOT have???? The guy was very nice, but had this big computer system in the wrecker truck and the person on the other end was asking me the same questions he asked???? Some person has used our address??? Scary, crazy, oh my goodness!

[Blackcat31]

I have one about the same age that has been doing that as well.... they look like they are sky diving! Mine also pants like a dog when hungry! Not sure if mom being a vet has anything to do with it or not! haha!

[Cat Herder]

DCB 7m has begun sitting up well when put down sitting. He has not mastered getting back up, quite yet.

This morning he has employed a technique to get me or his older sibling to sit him back up. I did not catch on to the manipulation until the 4th time. While prone, he pokes out his belly, raises his legs and arms above his back and barks like a seal pup with a huge smile. I have to admire his work, it has been quite effective so far.

[GirlMomma]

In another thread we discussed the DCK are being loud and crazy so sometimes we need to raise our voices/other things to get their attention…

When I had to raise my voice yesterday, DCB2.5 turns to his sibling and says “Miss GirlMomma yelled 😳” stops what he’s doing and sits down immediately.

I don’t have to do it often but when I do, at least DCB2.5 knows Miss GirlMomma means business! 😂❤️

[GirlMomma]

So they don’t spend time with their child? I wonder why he has behavior problems 🤔

[Sahm121]

Sometimes all I can do is laugh - dcb 13 month has been having tough days… had ‘the talk’ with family today that if it doesn’t get better, the next step is an action plan (we’re on week 8 or 9 of them insisting it’s a phase).

Dcb gets picked up at 4:20 and it was a rough day. Dcf just text, ‘had a great night tonight’. Well yea. I’m sure it was great. Kid gets picked up at 4:20, home by 5pm and bedtime is 5:30…. I’m sure it was fabulous
(no clue why 5:30 bedtime 🤦🏻♀️).

[GirlMomma]

*I am temporarily closing early for summer ball. It’s only 15 mins from my normal time and only affects three families, all of whom can make other arrangements.*

DCP: What are you getting into tonight?

Me: Nothing, thankfully! We’re going to be pretty busy with ball in a couple of weeks. We have to be at the ball field Monday-Thursday. Some nights there is a double-header.

DCP: Wow, that’s crazy! So will all of you be going to DD games??

Me: *knowing she’s asking if me and DH going at the same time* Oh yes! We won’t miss DD games for anything! 😁

DCP: *realizes that means I’m closing 15 mins early every day of the week* Oh good! 😑

Me: 😁😁😁😁😁

My family comes first. I don’t feel bad for it at all. This family in particular has soooo much flexibility in their schedule that it’s not uncommon for DCM to go spend two hours getting her nails done or go shopping. They both (DCD & DCM) will leave work at 4, go to the gym and rush to get here by 5:28.

[GirlMomma]

Oh my gosh!! 😂😂😂

[Alwaysgreener]

I got the, why are you hitting the baby question today from DCB4.