The Funny Thread

[Sahm121]

Dcb2 - P (18 mos. old), no no on table (you can’t sit on the table)

p: hi! (

dcb2- no . Off off table,

p: DOG!

dcb2 to dcb almost 2- no on table p. Off!!!

dcb almost 2 - nods head and says ‘Johnny johnny yes papa. Eating sugar no papa’ and walks away!!!!

[GirlMomma]

DCB1 was walking around pulling out tissues and wiping his nose. My 2’s hardly do this! 😂

[Blackcat31]

😂😂😂😂

[Annalee]

Funny!

[e.j.]

I have a kid who could actually use this! His hair is always either standing up or looking greasy after a meal because he rubs his food in it all the time. I have to use a wet washcloth to get the food out of his hair after every meal.

[DaveA]

We got over a foot of snow today with some more on the way. DW was talking with me about how before I closed I’d be dealing with early/ late parents, anger if I closed, school agers all day, etc. She was so glad we don’t have to deal with that I don’t have the heart to tell her a former dcp tried to see this morning if I was available to watch their kids because their daycare was closed. Needless to say I told them no chance in ****.

[Alwaysgreener]

Why do they think that you are going to open up just for them? Do they think that you have no life?

[DaveA]

Funniest part was it wasn’t one of the ones I had when I closed. This was someone from a couple years before I closed. But they knew I didn’t run a daycare anymore.

It isn’t just parents. Local R&R kept me on the providers list for almost a year despite telling them repeatedly I was closed. I had to argue with licensing to keep them from switching my license to some kind of temp hold instead of actually cancelling it.
It’s like they can’t believe someone would do such an inconsiderate thing to them by changing careers.

[Cat Herder]

My dad sent me an unwanted photo of my estranged D-bag uncles' new grandkid.

I sent him back a photo of my neighbors expired tag.

Game. Set. Match.

Made me laugh whether he does or not.

(oh, dad's a cop. Guess that is relevant)

[Blackcat31]

I like the way you play! lol!!

[Sahm121]

Dcb has been with me almost a year. He’s on the spectrum but parents would never give me paperwork and insisted he Wasn’t. So I did the best I could and researched activities and things to do to help him and he’s thriving. Dcb turns 3 and he can go to pre-K now if he’s considered special needs (remember they insisted he wasn’t) so mom decides to give notice and will move him to an all day pre-K program… except all day pre-K doesn’t exist around here unless it’s private OR at 4 years old (non special needs). Mom backtracks when she realizes there’s no all day programs, but then demands a discount since he won’t be here all day (pre-K is 2 1/2 hours, but I’d have to take him/pick him up or get him to/from the bus). I said nope to discount..:

Dcm goes to the amazing school for kids with special needs and demands he gets a spot. Apparently, gets him in. She’s in heaven. And he’s supposed to start Tuesday:
on Monday she realizes it’s only half day program for kids with IEPs. Tried to backtrack and say he wasn’t on the spectrum, so they tell her well then he can’t start since that’s the only spot we have available…
THEN she signs him up at a center (which I know will charge full Rate) and today texts me that they are closing the daycare since the owner died. Eek…. Tells me how much bad luck she’s having and all I can think is ‘um. someone just DIED and you think you’re having bad luck?’ Begs to keep him one more week. I said sure since I wasn’t planning to fill his spot until spring anyway and he does well
with me..

BUT now im thinking, should I mention the school she signed up dcb at doesn’t do full day until 1st grade since they’re a specialized school?
i feel bad laughing, but this mom kept thinking she was getting the upper hand and has made mistake after mistake after mistake and hasn’t realized that forcing her way into that school and demanding that her son is aggressive and violent just shut doors that she will be able to get him into an all day prek program in the fall 🤦🏻♀️

[Blackcat31]

I would’ve said goodbye and not looked back. I wouldn’t have even taken him the extra week…. Mostly cuz I have issues with parents like that. When they realize they messed up, it suddenly becomes everyone else’s issue and I’m petty enough to watch it unfold but refuse to help.

[GirlMomma]

DCM: DCD is out of town. Do you mind if he pays tomorrow?

Me: Sure, just include the late fee!

DCM: *looks puzzled and leaves*

By pick up DCD made it back into town with the check in hand LOL

[Alwaysgreener]

DCG2.5 says to Dcg2, Are you tired?
Dcg2 no I Dcg.

[Alwaysgreener]

DCG comes in this morning and says that she is only staying for a half day. When I asked why she said she is not going to tell me. She is still here.

SA boy was asking about how many days does he have to go to school. I commented on when he was younger and school was closed a lot due to the weather. He says he does not remember that, but he does remember the first time he forgot his backpack. LOL, he is always forgetting his backpack. That has been a struggle I have had with him since he started. DD9 is always reminding him. He is 8 and here 2 days a week and twice this week, he was reminded. If I asked him if he is ready, he will say yes and dd will say backpack.

[Alwaysgreener]

We are in the middle of potty training DS and he gets diarrhea. He comes to me and says, "mom mom I have broken poop"

[GirlMomma]

The other day, someone mentioned in a post about the 2YO/kids in general that are getting up and walking around during meal times. I realized I have (thankfully) never had that problem. All of my kiddos sit down for me and remain seated during meal times.

Well… I stand corrected 😂 Yesterday, the new DCK kept getting up and walking around at all three meals. So today, I put DCK in a booster seat and strapped her in. 😂

[Alwaysgreener]

SA boy shows up yesterday and ask if I have a pizza box. He needed it for art class, my dd did the project last year. Anyways, I just couldn't help but laugh inside, I am not his parent, he should be asking them for a pizza box. This is not the first time, that he has asked me to something that he should be asking his parents for. Sometimes he will ask me to buy him things, I will always say no.
The Ironic thing is that we had one and I would have given it to him but it was in the trash at the road.

[Sahm121]

Dcd: you & my wife have to figure something out because this is starting to become a pattern. My wife gets out of work late and I have to leave work early to come pick up dd.

me: 😃. Okay have a great night

next day - dcd: I didn’t mean YOU have to figure something out. I meant my wife and I. You got that right?
me: 😃. Okay have a nice day.

😂😂😂

[Alwaysgreener]

This was the other day but here goes. We have a dance party just before nap, the girls got excited and were screaming "dance party", I was getting the music on and dcb says "My wankle hurts"
Me: What? (pulling out my phone to text his mom)
DCB: My Wankle hurts
Me: (not sure if that is the name of his boy part or what) Show me where it hurts?
DCB pulls up his pant leg to reveal his ankle
Me: Why does it hurt?
DCB: (who never dances anyways) Because you said dance party
Me: Oh Okay, you do not have to dance, you can sit down like normal. (as I delete the text to mom)

Seriously though there was something wrong, kid.

[Blackcat31]

I have a daycare kid who immediately says a random body part hurts anytime we serve pasta. They are totally fine all day long until the minute they set eyes on their plate with pasta on it and immediately something on their body hurts.

The odd thing is though is that I don’t make anyone eat anything and I never have so I don’t know why the child continues to put on such a show when they don’t have to eat it anyways.

Kids are weird.

[Alwaysgreener]

I have a girl that loves mac and cheese but not mine. I have bought different shapes I have used different cheese but yet she will never eat it. Yesterday I found out she won't eat it because I use yellow cheese not white.

Seriously mac and cheese is normally yellow I never dawned on me that I needed to change the color of the cheese.

Off to find some white American cheese that is.

[Alwaysgreener]

I got the, why are you hitting the baby question today from DCB4.

[GirlMomma]

Oh my gosh!! 😂😂😂