The Funny Thread

[GirlMomma]

*I am temporarily closing early for summer ball. It’s only 15 mins from my normal time and only affects three families, all of whom can make other arrangements.*

DCP: What are you getting into tonight?

Me: Nothing, thankfully! We’re going to be pretty busy with ball in a couple of weeks. We have to be at the ball field Monday-Thursday. Some nights there is a double-header.

DCP: Wow, that’s crazy! So will all of you be going to DD games??

Me: *knowing she’s asking if me and DH going at the same time* Oh yes! We won’t miss DD games for anything! 😁

DCP: *realizes that means I’m closing 15 mins early every day of the week* Oh good! 😑

Me: 😁😁😁😁😁

My family comes first. I don’t feel bad for it at all. This family in particular has soooo much flexibility in their schedule that it’s not uncommon for DCM to go spend two hours getting her nails done or go shopping. They both (DCD & DCM) will leave work at 4, go to the gym and rush to get here by 5:28.

[Sahm121]

Sometimes all I can do is laugh - dcb 13 month has been having tough days… had ‘the talk’ with family today that if it doesn’t get better, the next step is an action plan (we’re on week 8 or 9 of them insisting it’s a phase).

Dcb gets picked up at 4:20 and it was a rough day. Dcf just text, ‘had a great night tonight’. Well yea. I’m sure it was great. Kid gets picked up at 4:20, home by 5pm and bedtime is 5:30…. I’m sure it was fabulous
(no clue why 5:30 bedtime 🤦🏻♀️).

[GirlMomma]

So they don’t spend time with their child? I wonder why he has behavior problems 🤔

[Sahm121]

GirlMomma - I guess not. I couldn’t hide my shocked and horrified expression even with my mask on. Today she clarified that bedtime is 6pm and only 5:30 on the days he’s tired. I told her it breaks my heart that she has barely any time with dcb. Just a blank stare in reply.

[GirlMomma]

In another thread we discussed the DCK are being loud and crazy so sometimes we need to raise our voices/other things to get their attention…

When I had to raise my voice yesterday, DCB2.5 turns to his sibling and says “Miss GirlMomma yelled 😳” stops what he’s doing and sits down immediately.

I don’t have to do it often but when I do, at least DCB2.5 knows Miss GirlMomma means business! 😂❤️

[Cat Herder]

DCB 7m has begun sitting up well when put down sitting. He has not mastered getting back up, quite yet.

This morning he has employed a technique to get me or his older sibling to sit him back up. I did not catch on to the manipulation until the 4th time. While prone, he pokes out his belly, raises his legs and arms above his back and barks like a seal pup with a huge smile. I have to admire his work, it has been quite effective so far.

[Blackcat31]

I have one about the same age that has been doing that as well.... they look like they are sky diving! Mine also pants like a dog when hungry! Not sure if mom being a vet has anything to do with it or not! haha!

[Cat Herder]

Oh, wow. This one does that too, along with humming while eating. That is such a funny coincidence, his mom is too. lol!!! Now I will wonder....

[Annalee]

A 'property agent' just came here to REPO a dodge truck that we DO NOT have???? The guy was very nice, but had this big computer system in the wrecker truck and the person on the other end was asking me the same questions he asked???? Some person has used our address??? Scary, crazy, oh my goodness!

[Cat Herder]

Oh, wow. How weird.

[Alwaysgreener]

My brother-in-law used my phone number when he purchased a vehicle from all the dealer that is known for their high interest rates and repossessions. After it was repo they tried to still get their money and they started calling me asking for him. I explained that he did not live here it was not his phone etc.

Apparently he had put my number down as my husband's number and my husband down as his reference. We had no knowledge of this. They kept claiming that my husband would go to jail if we didn't cooperate.

I would give them his current phone number but was unable to answer any other questions. They were literally harassing me, I would hang up and they would call me right back. I would save the phone number as do not answer every time they called, problem is it was never the same number.

That went on for five years or so. The last time they called I asked how comes they're not harassing his wife. They had no idea he was married, which to be honest I don't think he was when the whole thing started. I told them I didn't have a phone number for her, but she worked at the home improvement store. Interestingly, shortly after that call, she had quit the home improvement store but then again she's always either putting a job or getting fired.

[Alwaysgreener]

Dcg2 likes dcb8 for some reason she only sees him for 30-60 minutes after school twice a week but she talks to dcm about him. Dcm thought he was younger and here all day.

Recently Dcg has started asking me if she can tickle DCB. I said yes not sure what would happen (he doesn't like to be hugged) She tickled him and her tried to catch her to tickle back. (She tickles by touching or almost touching your side and saying tickle tickle while moving her fingers, then running)

This week she started calling to him, "DCB come here". When he does, he will ask her what she wants and she will say "nothing" but she will do it again a few minutes later.

She does this all on her own but after today, I so wish I could take credit for it. Lol

[Cat Herder]

In our local paper, Dear Editor section: People are over it.


GEORGIA CAUTION:

In regards to all the people wanting to move here from New York, California and Florida as well as many other heavily populated cities across the country, as well as those wanting to visit...

Before you come to Georgia to visit you must be aware of what is happening here. Especially, around the rural and all of middle Georgia! There's a housing shortage, rent has tripled, and folks are vacationing here in record numbers...

So if you plan on moving here, or just plan on vacationing in our river bottoms, hill country, mountains or lakes this summer, I think you should know that wolf spiders, fire ants and bedbugs have infested hotels and motels across the area due to dryer than usual weather. The woods will eat you alive with ticks and chiggers.

Our lakes are full of gators, fresh water sharks, and creepy old guys wearing speedos.

Our rivers are full of drunks in tubes peeing themselves while the banjo players lay waiting in the bushes.

Georgia panthers have eaten many domesticated animals and possibly some small children.

The local bear and coyote population are all 'in heat' and think your wife/girlfriend is hot.

Snakes... don’t even get me started on the water headed copper moccasins here, and the Diamond Back Rattler Cobras.

The poison ivy has overtaken all other vegetation.

We have had bear sightings at every park and town and they are after your picnic baskets….and some cougars have been spotted in motel rooms and bars.

Watch out for the jackalopes, they have been extremely aggressive this season.

We have the Skunk Ape invading our parks and it’s their mating season. Porcupines are "stabbing" small children should they dare to utilize the local playground equipment.

Skunks have made their way over and multiplied at unprecedented rates and wander the local campgrounds in packs looking for beer.

Murder hornets!?! We’ve got great black clouds of murder hornets, and swarms of giant crickets and even some Oklahoma grasshoppers.

Scorpions have now migrated here and have been congregating in massive quantities under rocks, logs, wooden steps, automobiles, and tarantulas are now stealing peoples food and biting like crazy.

I’m pretty sure all private tiger owners (we had a jump in them after Tiger King) have released their cats into the streets of our cities and towns.

Head lice now fly and we have vampire bats.

Oh, and no one is vaccinated.

I hear Idaho and Louisiana are really nice though.

[Annalee]

LOL Same here.....there is a mass exodus from the west, particularly California. My nephew had to outbid a UTAH land developer for a home yesterday. Where do these people even learn about our real estate, etc. Some of these outsiders come with astronomical amounts of money....CRAZY!!!!! You can buy cheaper than renting here, but you can't buy if you have to outbid all of the wealthy outsiders. ?? FYI....if it hadn't been family homes/land, my nephew would have lost, but my uncle stopped the UTAH guy when he realized what was going on.

[Alwaysgreener]

Annalee if it was family land why was it open for the public to bid? I guess I just don't understand how that's working, I've never bid on or sold the house. I built a house, on family land and it wasn't up for public sale, just private.

[Annalee]

My uncle bought the land and a home across the road so he listed his current land and home thinking no one would want it but my nephew decided he wanted that land/home....but bids had already come in but my uncle took my nephew's bid once it went too high and let him have it for asking price when he realized what the UTAH guy was doing.

[Annalee]

Some of the thoughts I have through the day about these kids make me laugh; glad no one can read my mind.... I'm sure my eyes say a different story!

[Alwaysgreener]

SA forgot his binder at home. DCM found it and texted me to let me know she was dropping it off. I didn't say anything to SA until after his mom left. And I told him to go grab his binder off the porch.

Even proceeds to tell my daughter that I saw his binder on the porch and it must have fell out of his backpack but his backpack was not unzipped.

I laughed and before I could explain he's then accuses me of tricking him by taking the binder out of his backpack and putting it on the porch. Lol

[GirlMomma]

Caller: Do you have any spots open for the summer for a 6YO and 3YO?

School just let out on Tuesday

[Cat Herder]

But they don't want to pay for a Memorial day closure......

[GirlMomma]

Cat Herder nope!

[Annalee]

dcg2.5 just pooped her pants while wearing a dress with dinosaurs on it and I said 'let me check your dress to see if anything is on it'...dcg said 'it's ok, it's just dinosaurs. She's been potty-trained since age two so I really hope she isn't getting sick.

[Alwaysgreener]

DCG almost 3 arrives after the bus time so she doesn't see SA kid until after nap, then he goes home within the next hour. However, he is how she talks to her mom about. DCM asked me about him and she laughed because dcg said he was 3. DCG adores SA B and on the 1st day of summer break, she says SAB is here forever. I almost fell over with a lack of excitement, screaming, " Oh no, he is not". LOL.

Today, she did not want to get out of the car and when she came in DCm tells me that she reminded DCG that if she didn't go inside, she couldn't see her friends. She got excited when she realized that SAB was inside and she said "I love SAB" and got out of the car.

She has unofficially invited SAB to her b-day party but none of the other kids. She will ask if she can play with SAB and then go over to him and tickle him. She will follow him around and just sit next to him.


The best part is that he is not sure what to do with the attention as he is not kid-friendly. When she tries to hug him, with his permission, he stiffens up and does not move one bit until she lets go.

[e.j.]

The best part is that he is not sure what to do with the attention as he is not kid-friendly. When she tries to hug him, with his permission, he stiffens up and does not move one bit until she lets go.

This reminds me of dogs and cats that tend to gravitate toward people who are afraid of or
don't like animals. lol

[Blackcat31]

Sent a notice about raising rates.
Assumed most parents would opt for 4 days at lesser rate vs the much higher 5 day rate
I only offer 4 or 5 day weekly flat rates due 52 weeks a year
All families opted for 5 days
Um, ok. I’ll take the extra extra day for the lots of extra pay. (Shrugs)

[Annalee]

Common sense is a flower that doesn’t grow in everyone’s garden!!!!!!

[Annalee]

I'm closed July 1-5. Isn't it funny how families are a little "oh what will I do" without realizing it's simply a Friday, Monday and Tuesday. I'm NOT doing the figuring-out for them! They think it's a whole daycare week.

[Rockgirl]

My mom used to always ask me before my vacation days, “Were all the parents able to find somewhere for their kids to go while you’re off?” My answer was always, “I hope so, but I never ask.”

[Alwaysgreener]

Rockgirl My sister would ask me questions like that. "How do your families feel about you not working Fridays?" I have no idea, never asked them.--- I mean It was clear to them from the start that I was not open on Fridays, it is not like I sprung it on them suddenly.

[Rockgirl]

Alwaysgreener yes, exactly!