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Please Help is it Time?

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  • Please Help is it Time?

    Ok so I recently posted about a 2.5 yr old I'm having g some behavior issues with. He doesn't listen for long is constantly running, screaming, being rough with the other kids. Every time I redirect him he scream NO and sometimes spit! I put him in an immediate time out and he will cry and scream, this area is in the room we are in. When he does this I move him into the hall right by where the room is so he can see everything but sitting in hall. This kid is tired he doesn't sleep good at all. Normally I would put him down for a nap but recently he has started throwing major fits in the room which keeps up the other kids. He screams, bangs on the door, keeps opening it, which is not closed it is left ajar, he will stand there, I tried a room separately from the others and that was worse,this kid was going to hurt himself other, he can see me he can hear me. I feel like I have no other ideas with him. Parents keep saying it's a phase. I have a smaller group and I feel like sending g him away isn't going to help him but I am seriously considering it. Any ideas?
    I should also add he does opposite of what I ask. If I say walking feet he will look at you and run briefly,, if I tell another child I side voice he will look at me and scream..
    He is really testing boundaries and here I am nice but firm,, at home not so much,, they baby the crap out of him which is a problem, they say they don't but you can tell every day at drop off and pick up they do.
    Last edited by TenderHearts; 12-16-2021, 11:56 AM.

  • #2
    If he is preventing you from being your best for the rest of the group, move him on. There are more kids than slots these days. There is no reason to let him ruin everything for the other kids.

    Maybe giving his parents a NO will even change the direction of his life for the better.


    • #3
      Here’s my opinion: Terminate. You’ve put up with way too much. This child is spitting, hitting and his parents are downplaying his behavior calling it a phase? No way. Do not put up with that. Terminate care immediately.

      I have four children right now that are 2.5 years old, boys and girls, they’ve never acted like you’re describing. I’ve had some hitters, biters, and kickers, but not all from one child. All of those behaviors have since been worked out. I’ve never had a child spit on me.

      If you really don’t want to terminate, other on the forum will tell you to send the child home at nap time and any other time he acts out. If you do that, then you're forcing the parents to be a parent. Perhaps then the parents will correct the behavior and stop downplaying it as a “phase.”


      • #4
        It may just be a phase but there still needs to be a plan of action or method to curbing the unwanted behaviors he’s showing. If the parents are doing nothing but waiting it out, they’re gonna have issues as he’s learning there are no consequences to his behaviors (other than at your house)

        Honestly, I’d terminate as it sounds like he’s taking a lot of time and attention from others and that’s unfair to everyone else.

        If you’re hesitant to term, put a star on your calendar, make a plan of action (with parents) to correct these behaviors and let them know he will be terminated if there is no improvement by star date.

        It sounds like he needs his own adult. 2.5 is tough but 3 will be worse if he’s not corrected now.

        Hang in there… you’re doing everything you can but it’s not really suppose to be all on you.


        • Cat Herder
          Cat Herder commented
          Editing a comment
          Spitting at people. That is learned. Gross. That was my line in the sand. I've only known one particularly nasty woman who would do this to EMS/Law/Fire when she was mad on domestic calls. I learned to put that hood over her head so fast whenever we had to transport her. Just nasty and dangerous.

      • #5
        Thanks everyone. I should explain he's not spitting on me or anyone else I do t know how to explain but when theynstuck there to guess and and make noise and it kind of spits everywhere that's what I meant he just does it constantly.
        Yes I do agree that I should term they are aware of what's going on. I think I will let them know if I do t see progress in next week I will need to give notice. Thanks everyone


        • #6
          I would absolutely term. I’ve struggled before (even recently) with the thought that it’s better for a particular child to stay here. But I make my decisions for the good of the group. Is it best for the group for this child to stay? I’m thinking no.


          • #7
            Originally posted by Blackcat31 View Post
            2.5 is tough but 3 will be worse if he’s not corrected now.
            So true. I have told SO many parents this. They have to get a handle on their kids or they are in for a world of difficulty.


            • #8
              So I called and had a heart to heart with Mom. She said they know he has issues and it's been getting worse at home. I guess dad said we need to do something and they ha e an appt with his Dr to see if he needs a behaviorist or something. I told her all my concerns and said I would do my best to see if there ate any changes in the next few weeks but for the well being of my group and how it effects them I may need to terminate ate and she completely understood. So we will see what happens. At least now it's out in the open that he maybe terminated. Where before it's just about his behavior. I told them he may benefit from a one on one provider. I'm glad I talked with her Thanks everyone