Would You Ask Parent?

[Momboss]

I noticed a parent stopped being so chatty with me, usually he would make funny comments or have a big smile on his face. For a couple weeks it stopped. I found out they were pulling their child out. Not in a bad way, i just didnt have an infant opening in the future when they wanted and found new care that did (or at least thats what they said). I think his personality changed because he had “a secret” and/or he knew he was leaving and felt awkward seeing me now. Almost every parent that wants to change childcare for their child and knows in advance, get weird before they finally say something.

[Momboss]

“How have you been Mr***? you haven’t seemed like yourself lately”

[e.j.]

I just do t know if texting would be OK because I do t think I shod discuss something like this in front of their daughter.

Personally, I would avoid texting since it can be so difficult to interpret the tone of a text message and I think you may want to tread lightly. As uncomfortable as it can be, I prefer face to face if possible and if not, I'd ask if I could call them later when they're home and all of the day care kids have gone home. They can at least hear your tone and know you're not attacking them or angry. (Assuming you're more mystified about the change in their demeanor than you are angry.)

[Blackcat31]

I have 3 DCM's that work in child protective services. They have all commented on the extremely high rate of calls for abuse etc during this time of year. :-(

[Cat Herder]

It is Christmas week. Most parents are close to, or at, their breaking point.

Now is a time for grace.

IMHO, of course.

[TenderHearts]

I get that people don't need to share personal things with me however if it is something something to do with me they should pull their child if they don't like something about me or my policies.. Why should he walk around and be rude like that he should find aomewhere he thinks is a better fit in my opinion.

[Pestle]

I would keep my expectations for following my payment policy separate from my desire to have a friendly relationship with my clients.

I had a client where this happened. He suddenly stopped greeting me, stopped lingering in the morning to watch his child play, stopped smiling.

Turned out his wife's immigration status was in a SNAFU.

Even if your client is sulking because he's mad at you, it's not your responsibility to force him to be cheerful or chatty. Hold to your policies. If his problem is your policies, that will show up soon enough. A second missed payment should answer that question for you.

And if you're wrong and he is upset about some thing else, he doesn't need to be forced to bring it up before he's ready to share it. Or it may be something that never needs to be shared with you.

[TenderHearts]

Thanks everyone. I do belive it has to do with me asking about his daughters symptoms because they are very well aware of my policies not only with covid but my normal sick policy. With covid I have given manyamy things on the policies, mine as well as the states. I think it inconvenienced them and he disnt like that. Now she has a cold and she tells me she has allergies which is not true and she has never said anything like that before. Thanks I just do t know if texting would be OK because I do t think I shod discuss something like this in front of their daughter. I feel like if a parent had an issue with me other than covid because I'm sure they know it would be like that anywhere but they wouldn't want their child to be here.

[Sahm121]

I'm probably going to be the odd man out on this. I understand and agree with what everyone else has said about keeping things professional but I think if it were me and a parent who had always been warm and friendly suddenly became frosty toward me and it was making me feel uncomfortable, I'd ask if I had done or said something to upset them. In your case, where you think it may have something to do with something specific (covid symptoms), I'd just be direct and say something like, "I'm feeling as though you're upset at how I handled the covid situation...." and just go from there. I'd rather face the issue and hopefully put it behind us than not address it and continue to feel uncomfortable.

This. But I wouldn’t volunteer that it’s due to the covid scare. I would just say something like ‘I’ve been meaning to ask you if everything is okay because it feels Like you’re avoiding me’ then silence. Let him be uncomfortable and just stay quiet and let him dig himself out. It might end up being something completely different (holiday stress?)

[Michael]

I'm probably going to be the odd man out on this. I understand and agree with what everyone else has said about keeping things professional but I think if it were me and a parent who had always been warm and friendly suddenly became frosty toward me and it was making me feel uncomfortable, I'd ask if I had done or said something to upset them. In your case, where you think it may have something to do with something specific (covid symptoms), I'd just be direct and say something like, "I'm feeling as though you're upset at how I handled the covid situation.... and just go from there. I'd rather face the issue and hopefully put it behind us than not address it and continue to feel uncomfortable.

I agree with this. Maybe the other providers here wouldn't let it bother them but it obviously bothers you. I would be upfront and ask. If it has to do with his daughter and the Covid issue, it would be best to advise him on your policy and responsibility to the other children and parents in your care.

[e.j.]

I'm probably going to be the odd man out on this. I understand and agree with what everyone else has said about keeping things professional but I think if it were me and a parent who had always been warm and friendly suddenly became frosty toward me and it was making me feel uncomfortable, I'd ask if I had done or said something to upset them. In your case, where you think it may have something to do with something specific (covid symptoms), I'd just be direct and say something like, "I'm feeling as though you're upset at how I handled the covid situation...." and just go from there. I'd rather face the issue and hopefully put it behind us than not address it and continue to feel uncomfortable.

[Blackcat31]

If it is about the recent illness issues then DCD is being petty and childish
He has to know you are simply following health rules for everyone’s benefit and the whole exchange has made him withdrawn and pouty then, I’d just ignore it.
I’d probably try to be overly kind and chatty just because. I’m sure his tantrum will end soon enough. If not, it’s not your problem 🙂

[PB&J]

Was dad the one that dropped the clues that made you dig for further info about the sickness, and then require more days out? if so, maybe mom told him to keep his mouth shut from now on!

[PB&J]

I agree with the other posters. I wouldn’t say anything. He’s a grownup; if he has something to say, let him say it. Until then, as long as they are abiding by policy that’s all you need. I, too, would enforce the late fee, since that’s policy.
also, I’m not sure that you can guarantee there are no marriage issues…. No one knows about the times my hubby and I were having troubles. Our public faces stayed on.

[TenderHearts]

I can pretty much guarantee it has nothing to do with financial or marriage I honestly think it's an issue with me going back to him not liking me questioning her symptoms and making them keep her home the extra days. That's when it started its like he doesn't want
to talk or communicate with me.