Can I Make It Two Years??

[fivestarday]

I don't know. I just don't know. Can I make it two years until my DCKs are all old enough to be in preschool or preK or K? I just don't know. Today, I feel like I can't. I want that money so I can put it towards a dream of mine. But after today, I'm thinking I'd be happy with earning half that money for half of my dream, and earning the remainder doing something else. The DCKs and DCFs are all nice people. They really do try to be respectful of my illness policy. But in the end, they just aren't. They make plenty of excuses. "Oh, I just don't see my kid enough in the morning to notice whether they are sick or not." or "Oh, I'm so sorry! My kid's nose always runs! If I had seen it, I would have kept them home."

I end up noticing runny noses and sneezing after a few hours into the day. I can tell when my regular DCKs are "off" in their behavior, or just their eyes, and sure enough two days later, signs of illness are present. Sure enough, the one who suffers the most from this ever present stealth illness is my dd who is less than a year old. She doesn't deserve it! She is the most wonderful, chill little baby. But she turns into a needy mess when she is sick. I was up multiple times last night trying to soothe her back to sleep because she is sick. The snot. The snot! She's only been without a cold probably one week in the last 2 months. It's pitiful. And these people show up at the end of a day where I've been wiping their kid's nose left and right, after I've dealt with all the fits and insanity that comes with a toddler who is ill, and after earning WAY more than me per hour to say things like, "Oh, I didn't notice!" or about my dd, "I'm so sorry she is sick again. I guess it's just that time of the year."

I'm really really really REALLY considering telling ALL of my families, brand new and old, that I will be closing my doors to all their bugs come June 1st. Sacrificing my daughter's well being isn't worth a red cent to me. Sure my son, who attends preschool, will bring home germs. But the way I see it, that's my business and that's a normal amount of germs.

[GirlMomma]

If you don’t have an illness policy, I would make one. If you have an illness policy, be sure to enforce it.

My illness policy states I won’t take children with “persistent coughs or green runny noses.” During the colder months when colds are practically inevitable, I am a bit more lenient with that policy. But it’s there if I need to use it.

I am sorry to hear your DD is getting sick. Unfortunately, it comes with the territory of having an infant in any daycare environment. The good news is that she’s building her immune system.

[fivestarday]

Thank you for replying.

I have an illness policy. It just isn't being followed. By accident or by choice? I'm not sure.

So here is where I am now after some more thought. I really do enjoy running this small daycare. My main reason for having this daycare is so that I can earn some extra money without having to sacrifice time away from my dd. I only earn about an extra $500 a month after expenses. What I've found though is that the quality of my interaction with my dd has suffered. The frequent illness is the icing on a very yucky cake, so to say. When I think back on my day, I see myself delighting over how "independent" my dd is, or how "laid back" she is. Well, she has to be! When she isn't being fed or changed, she is either in my arms being held or is on the floor happily playing. I appreciate how happy she can make herself. But I feel like I am missing out on my dd even though I am in the same room. Rather than being on the floor reading and talking to her about her toys, I am instead cooking and cleaning up after DCKs. I am redirecting before arguments get too intense, washing hands, changing diapers, laying kids down for naps, getting them up from naps. It's a whirl. And then the end of the day hits and I'm laying down with my sweet dd and then putting her in her crib for the night.

So what I'm getting at is my realization that I never ever wanted to put my ds or dd in daycare. To me, raising them is like a holy assignment. Nobody is made to do it as well as me. Maybe I'm wrong. But I feel a deep responsibility in raising my children. I've realized through writing this post that I have effectively put my dd in daycare. The daycare just happens to be in my home and ran by me. But she is a part of a group and her needs do not come first like they would if it were just ds, her, and myself. $500 isn't worth that kind of loss of this special time.

I'll give my DCF the next couple of months and then I'll close my doors at the start of June. I'll blame it on the frequent illness, because that's an easy answer to give the DCFs.

[GirlMomma]

All of that makes perfect sense ☺️

[Blackcat31]

fivestarday


Here is a really interesting thread about children of providers. For many it was a negative experience and for others it was great! Its definitely a personal thing and only you know what is or isn't right for your family. No matter what choice you make it is right.

https://www.daycare.com/forum/showthread.php?t=41913

[GirlMomma]

I enjoyed reading all of the different answers.

[fivestarday]

i wasn't able to read the responses. It said I could not login. Weird.

[Blackcat31]

fivestarday You can log into that forum using the same user name and password as this one I believe. If not, go ahead and register using the same user name and password and you should be able to toggle back and forth easily between forums when you want to read an old thread. If not, let me know! As a moderator I can help!

[Valerie928]

If you don't need the money then by all means quit if you don't like it.

I'm pretty sure the majority of us would quit if we could afford to.

[fivestarday]

thanks, valerie928. I wrote my letter to the parents today. I am giving them a couple of months to find other care. All very nice people.

[Pestle]

It sounds like what you really want is to be an attachment parent. That's challenging for people with more than one child or for people with lots of domestic responsibilities. So, since daycare is a series of domestic responsibilities done for or in the midst of a bunch of children, it sounds like daycare is the wrong lifestyle for you.

[fivestarday]

Pestle I think daycare is a wonderful lifestyle for me...just not right now. The money, no matter how much, isn't worth her being sick all the time and me missing out on precious moments.

[Blackcat31]

How old is your DD? Studies show those kids under 5 that are exposed to many common illnesses have a much stronger immune system than others so the exposure to the DCK's might just be a positive thing for her verses being shielded from germs and viruses. Food for thought...

[fivestarday]

Blackcat31, my DD is just 9 months old. I have heard that before about building the immune system. I believe it's true. But my ds4 was never sick as an infant. He was shielded by an even more intense version of myself...the first-time-mom version of me. lol.... Well, now he is in preschool full time and he gets sick sometimes, but he isn't a screaming crying mess. He is just a kid with a runny nose and a funny voice. And if he is in a lot of pain, I can set him up with some tylenol, a movie, and some hot soup. With dd, I'm stuck holding her most of the day, nursing her twice as much, and seeing this wonderful baby turn into a puddle of snot. I just absolutely hate seeing her suffer.

[Valerie928]

I agree with BC here. My oldest son accompanied me to my work at a Daycare center for 3 years. He caught all the bugs the 1st year especially. Ultimately he ended up having perfect attendance when he started school. He built up his immune system in Daycare.
As frustrating as the illnesses are in daycare settings, it really does make kiddos stronger.
As providers, a lot of us have pretty sturdy immune systems too.

[GirlMomma]

“How old is your DD? Studies show those kids under 5 that are exposed to many common illnesses have a much stronger immune system than others so the exposure to the DCK's might just be a positive thing for her verses being shielded from germs and viruses. Food for thought...“

I was going to mention this the other day, but I didn’t. I agree with BC and Valerie.

My oldest DD was in DC at 6 weeks old and my youngest DD was in DC at 8 weeks old. I opened my DC in August 2020 when my DD was 11 months old. I had to WFH during COVID and I couldn’t stand the thought of going back to the office and leaving my girls after being home with them for almost six months.

In the last two years, my oldest DD was sick once in November 2020 when she got COVID - which was nothing to her. My youngest DD has caught maybe two or three more illnesses than my oldest since November 2020.

I can honestly say, both of my DD are rarely sick. I attribute this to them being in DC and exposed to so much at such a young age. I only breastfed for one or two weeks after they were born. They just recently (like 5 weeks ago LOL) started taking vitamins. That’s my two cents.

[fivestarday]

@GirlMomma...I'm glad to hear they are so strong! That's wonderful. Especially with a COVID infection.
Valerie928 You are right about it making them stronger. I am delaying the inevitable. But I'm OK with that. I am sick too right now, barely. My immune system barely bats an eye at these bugs anymore. I joke to my husband that I am genetically superior to him. Because he gets sick as a dog from the DCKs' germs.