Would You Call for Pickup?

[BaileeB]

I have a DCG 2 who has had issues with BM in the past. I have held her while she cries and strains so that she can go. She has had very bloody BM before (from how hard and large they are) and I have notified DCM every time. She acts like its not a big deal. Finally I asked her what she was going to do about it and she brushed it off and said "miralax I guess. Thats what the doctor suggested". For clarification, this is what the doctor suggested when she took DCG for being seriously constipated one time. I'm sure the doctor didnt mean that the child needed to live on miralax. I suggested she try something like fiber gummies every day to help keep her more regular instead of offering her miralax AFTER the fact. This morning DCG comes in and is pushing other kids for no reason, doesnt want to eat and I know whats coming next. She starts walking around the room whining, crying, pulling her pants up and moving her hips around while saying "poop", "mama", "home", "hurt". I am HEARTBROKEN for this child. I text DCM to let her know and she says "Yeah, shes trying to poop. I gave her a fiber gummy this morning." ... okay? thats it. DCG has been wandering the room like that for about 20 minutes and as I type this she is laying against me while I am sitting in a chair. I obviously cant hold her like this all day. Would you call for pickup? Honestly I feel bad because I know they only feed her junk food at home and thats why she comes to me every Tu-F constipated and in pain. I feel like I would be doing worse by this little girl to send her home to parents who clearly do not care that she is suffering. Advice on how to handle this? Bonus points if you have anything I can do to keep from cussing mom out when she comes for pick up

[Blackcat31]

I have a DCG 2 who has had issues with BM in the past. I have held her while she cries and strains so that she can go. She has had very bloody BM before (from how hard and large they are) and I have notified DCM every time. She acts like its not a big deal. Finally I asked her what she was going to do about it and she brushed it off and said "miralax I guess. Thats what the doctor suggested". For clarification, this is what the doctor suggested when she took DCG for being seriously constipated one time. I'm sure the doctor didnt mean that the child needed to live on miralax. I suggested she try something like fiber gummies every day to help keep her more regular instead of offering her miralax AFTER the fact. This morning DCG comes in and is pushing other kids for no reason, doesnt want to eat and I know whats coming next. She starts walking around the room whining, crying, pulling her pants up and moving her hips around while saying "poop", "mama", "home", "hurt". I am HEARTBROKEN for this child. I text DCM to let her know and she says "Yeah, shes trying to poop. I gave her a fiber gummy this morning." ... okay? thats it. DCG has been wandering the room like that for about 20 minutes and as I type this she is laying against me while I am sitting in a chair. I obviously cant hold her like this all day. Would you call for pickup? Honestly I feel bad because I know they only feed her junk food at home and thats why she comes to me every Tu-F constipated and in pain. I feel like I would be doing worse by this little girl to send her home to parents who clearly do not care that she is suffering. Advice on how to handle this? Bonus points if you have anything I can do to keep from cussing mom out when she comes for pick up

I would absolutely call for pick up.... because her behavior is not something you can manage while caring for others. It's not fair to you, the other kids or to the DCG.

Tell mom that you understand and empathize with the fact that DCG is having issues going poo but it can't be YOUR issue to manage as SHE is the parent.

Let her know once the child does go, she is free to return.

Honestly it is the only way DCM will take control of this issue. As long as you're willing to take the time to soothe and calm DCG, why should she? Know what I mean?

On a side note, yes... I have heard of alot of parents that give Miralax on a regular basis verses simply regulating the child's diet naturally with a balance of fiber and other important nutrients.

Other threads about Miralax and constipation
https://www.daycare.com/forum/tags.php?tag=miralax
https://www.daycare.com/forum/tags.php?tag=constipation

[GirlMomma]

Having too much milk and not a lot of water/fiber in her diet is likely the cause of this issue. My DD had this issue and now I have THREE DCK that have the same issue. When I suggest they cut down on the child’s milk, it resolves itself in a day or so.

Absolutely call for pick up!

[BaileeB]

This makes so much sense!! I had a DCG3 that was always always constipated (literally had her for 6 months and never changed a #2 here) and she was obsessed with her "Milky" and begged me for milk all day. I usually serve a cup with breakfast and then they can finish it with lunch or if they finish it before they get water the rest of the day. But I know at home they gave her endless amounts of milk. I wonder if that was her problem. DCG2 that is having issues is the same one who still gets a full bottle of milk on the way to daycare every morning. I might say something to DCM and see if it helps.

[Sahm121]

Call for Pick up. You’re not a doctor and although you know it’s due to constipation, what if it’s not?
I had a family like that one and it ended horribly. They gave the kid Miralax without telling me which resulted in me and the kid being covered in poop from how much came out. THEN they blamed me for calling for pick up. I worked with them, tried everything (my dd has a medical condition that results in chronic constipation and she’s ended with surgery). I did enemas on the child for them… literally everything I could . Then i got sick with covid and my DH went into the hospital with severe covid and we didn’t know if he’d make it and I ended up closing 3 weeks (dh is totally fine now, I am a covid long hauler). They texted when we didn’t know if my DH would survive (all families knew, as I have an app I update and I knew they saw it) and asked me if my DH died would I still reopen because they were looking for someone who is reliable and those days off were showing I wasn’t reliable:.

so because of that, my Motto is not my circus, not my monkeys. It is THEIR problem, not mine. Next time a kid has constipation and is screaming trying to poop, they can either pick up or I’m calling 911 since I don’t know why they’re screaming and I’m not a doctor

[BaileeB]

OMG I am SO sorry that you ever had to deal with someone that rude and heartless and I’m so glad you and DH are okay!! This DCM is just one problem after another. She said “oh it’s just the fiber gummies working. I only give her one because if I give her 1 1/2 it makes her BM mushy” I said “mushy? You mean like soft?” And she’s like “yeah it makes it soft so I just give her 1”…. I said “yeah it’s supposed to be soft so that it doesn’t hurt her to go. It might be time to take her to the doctor.” DCG was able to get it out after almost an hour. If it happens again DCM is coming as soon as she starts showing symptoms and crying like that. I’m just appalled because if it was my child and a provider texted me I would drop everything. I don’t understand these parents mindsets about their kids. Do they really not care at all?!

[Pestle]

DH went into the hospital with severe covid and we didn’t know if he’d make it and I ended up closing 3 weeks (dh is totally fine now, I am a covid long hauler). They texted when we didn’t know if my DH would survive (all families knew, as I have an app I update and I knew they saw it) and asked me if my DH died would I still reopen because they were looking for someone who is reliable and those days off were showing I wasn’t reliable:.

I am thinking some words that I can't say out loud or post here