Turning Down A Family

[GirlMomma]

I am ready to fill my last spot. I got a call last week for a woman needing care on Mondays and Fridays, grandma would keep the child Tuesday-Thursday. The woman was good with my rate - since I don’t offer part time slots/rates.

Tuesday: Mom calls to confirm the interview is set for Thursday, not Tuesday and asked for the time. I look past it, at least she confirmed right?

Today: Arrives on time, they drive a reliable looking car, kiddo is “kid clean” and looks to be healthy. The child came in friendly and smiling, ready to play. The kid was checking things out but wasn’t getting into things. Curious but not obnoxiously curious… if that makes sense? It all looks promising…. until we get into things.

• The woman wants to increase the number of days the child comes from 2 to 3 and maybe more on the future.
• On one of the days, the child would be picked up at 2 PM by the father… my kiddos nap from 12-2:30. This is court ordered so it couldn’t be changed.
• The child is 23 months old and co-sleeps with the parent - teaching the child to sleep on a cot will likely be a challenge
• The child doesn’t nap until 2 PM, if the child even naps at all. Recently the child hasn’t been napping.
• The ONLY question the woman asked was how I disciplined children … which I thought was odd? I’ve just never been asked that question.
• When it was time to leave, the child refused to clean up the toys and then squealed the loudest squeal I’ve ever heard in my life.

Obviously, I’m not taking them. I think I’d regret it almost instantly. I’ve never turned someone down after the interview. Do I ghost them or keep it short and to the point?

[Springvalley]

We always tell perspective clients that we've got a waiting list and they can be put on that list for us to call them when a spot opens up.

[GirlMomma]

When she called she asked if I had a waiting list and I told her no (my waiting list clients have been interview or found alternate care) so that wouldn’t work in this case. But I do use that when the child isn’t the age I want.

[JaeB]

I've recently had to tell a family that I believed their children wouldn't be a good fit and the mom said ok and we left it at that. Tours are a great way to meet the families especially the children and then you can make a choice based off of the initial meeting if it will work for you or not. In my case the 4 year old has some very obvious issues. She was not listening to mom, non verbal, the sounds from the toys bothered her so much she threw the toys, and did not listen at all. The one year old was a sweetheart. Meanwhile mom is saying daughter is advanced and can do this and that. I called almost immediately after they left

[GirlMomma]

I knew immediately when she said the child didn’t nap it wasn’t going to work.

[Blackcat31]

I used to just say I've gone with another family that better fit my opening. That worked great until I still needed to advertise the opening so they family could see it wasn't true. Now I just go the honest route and tell them I don't think my program is a good fit for them.

I know it's tough and sometimes awkward but it's the truth. If the family continues to ask or contact you, just ignore. You told them. You don't have to explain it or go into details as to why.

*Tip: If you say 'your program' isn't a good fit for them verses saying 'they aren't a good fit' it seems to be received better. It's weird how the wording can make a difference

[GirlMomma]

Thank you!

It makes sense… I’m taking the blame instead of putting it on them/the child.